I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim (journal)

[MELFINA MARIE JOHANSON]

Week 1

The Consequence is if I leave I‘m alone, but what‘s the difference when you beg for love?

I don’t know why I got you, maybe it’s because I had to buy something and you seemed like something a normal fourteen year old would buy. Then again I’m not really normal am I, of course I’m not. I’m the girl who got kidnapped, seems like nothing’s a secret in this prison and I do use that term loosely everything here is different and I don’t like it. Why did the healers say I was safe to go here, why can’t I be home-schooled. Right forgot because my dad’s never home. Of course you would think that he would be here to help me adjust or for me to talk to but nope. Revenge seems to be the only thing on his mind, and well I don’t even care…I barely even know him…or Matthew…my “twin”

-Melfina Marie

coded by electric of gangnam style

Week 2

The Consequence is if I leave I‘m alone, but what‘s the difference when you beg for love?

This place might not seem so bad, I met one of my brothers friend Aaron. He seems a bit odd then again I haven’t really had contact with many guys beside my dad, my brother, and my ex-guardian. He just walks up to people and talks to them, isn’t that strange. My rudeness didn’t even drive him away, that was the most interesting part. Well stupid little book…things are getting less dull

-Melfina Marie

coded by electric of gangnam style

Week 3

The Consequence is if I leave I‘m alone, but what‘s the difference when you beg for love?

Hmm classes her are odd and so are the dorms. Instead of two to a room there are like four or five. Not to mention classes are either boring or stupid. Care of magical creatures instead of Magizoology, did they know that some people found that offensive at least a couple of the half-vela’s at my old school did. Anyways I kept having trouble sleeping between the people in my dorm and the nightmares. How rational is it to put a recovering kidnap victim in a room with strangers. Bloody mental the lot of them, all idiots.

-Melfina Marie

coded by electric of gangnam style

Week 4

The Consequence is if I leave I‘m alone, but what‘s the difference when you beg for love?

I kind of talked to Aaron today, like actually talked and we went exploring the Forbidden forest. Like alone, without anybody and it was almost dark. I don’t know but something about him makes me think I can trust him, like all the bad thoughts go away and I’m just a normal person. I know it’s weird but maybe I’m starting to make a friend. I like that idea, the one of having my first friend. We didn’t find any animals though we played twenty questions, it was fun.

-Melfina Marie
.

coded by electric of gangnam style

Week 5

The Consequence is if I leave I‘m alone, but what‘s the difference when you beg for love?

What’s flirting? And who is that girl who keeps taking all of my brothers attention. It seems like now that im here my father and brother take no notice of me. Which is sad really because they’re just about all I have, unless you count my hamster Spartacus which no-one ever does. On the plus side I think me and Aaron are friends now but I still keep him on the surface. Despite the fact that things about my past, the little things keep slipping from my mouth, I don’t know if I can trust him.

-Melfina Marie

coded by electric of gangnam style

Week 6

The Consequence is if I leave I‘m alone, but what‘s the difference when you beg for love?

I think I might like my brother friend Aaron, he’s cool even if boys are all bleh and they scare me, with him I don’t feel that. Like I get this strange feeling in my stomach and I can’t really think of what to say. I’m pretty sure the girls at my old school called it a crush. I don’t really know, I’m not into stuff like that, all I know is that I like him...as what I’m unsure...maybe this is how friends feel about each other...I’ve never had one to compare it too. I might ask my brothers girlfriend Leyshell for advice.

Melfina Marie

coded by electric of gangnam style

[MELFINA MARIE JOHANSON]

Sometime in March

You're just wasted thinking about the past again.

Hey I finally found this stupid book I brought towards the beginning of the year. There’s a lot going on in my life right now. I have a boyfriends…Aaron actually...shocker (not really). Not to mention I’m pretty sure I want to be back in France right now. Maybe I’m just angrily writing this because there are some things I’ll miss but all this evil/good thing. In France it didn’t exist, no one cared about that stuff, either you were rich and popular or not. Either you were smart or not, athletic or not. Maybe I didn’t have any friends or real family but I’m pretty sure family is supposed to care. At the moment I feel just as alone as I did last year and the year before that. Something’s not right maybe it’s me and how I was raised or brainwashed as my dad and brother liked to put it. They have no idea, I’ve seen people get killed and animals too. I got tormented and pushed into learning the dark arts. Everyone makes it seem like I have a choice in what I know, I’m fourteen for Merlin’s shake. Nobody ever wants to focus on the good of my child hood, like my first drum lessons. Or how my first day of School went or anything that was good, all they focus on is the bad. How can I get past it if people bring it up, why bring up the lack of food when I wasn’t obedient or being locked in a small dark room. Or the fact I only had a small hamster for a friend, it seems like the hamster, my hamster is the key to my sanity. If I lost him I don’t know what I do, probably lose myself whoever that is. Did you know my birthday is in June?? I could’ve sworn it was in July I remember the awesomeness of my birthdays. I always got presents and spoiled. But no one ever wants to hear about that. I should be sleeping right now but I can’t all I see when I close my eyes is that dark room, soo cold so dark. I’m so alone, but I’m like that here too, as much as Aaron tries he doesn’t understand none does.


-Melfina Marie

coded by electric of gangnam style