Always Ally

[ALLEANA LEI MOON]

She headed for the owlry in a bit of a rush. She had written the letter almost as soon as she returned to the girls' dorm that morning. The letter, already rolled and tied, was addressed to her father, though she was positive her mother would lay eyes on it as well. Most people who were planning to sneak out of the school, and for that matter the country over the weekend wouldn't dream of telling their parents. However, with the memory of their conversation on the cliffs as a result of her last adventure with Cameron still fresh on her mind, Ally felt it was necessary. She didn't have time to ask permission per se, since she doubted they would have time for a response to arrive before she left early the next morning, but she would at least tell them. Let the consequences come if they must, but she had already made up her mind to do this, though her conscience pricked slightly when she remembered the night before with Aiden. She shook her head. This was a goodbye, she told herself, the end of something, and the end deserved to be at least as exciting as the journey itself, didn't it?

She reached the owlry, searching briefly for Cleite (Cleh-tah), the tawny owl her parents had gotten her while they were school shopping first year. Named after the Irish word for feather, Cleite had at least as much attitude as Ally herself, and when finally spotted, felt it necessary to merely stare at Ally accusingly. "I know, I know. I've let you up here too long. I've just been really busy is all." This did not seem to satisfy the owl, who merely continued staring. Sighing, she reached into her pocket and pulled out not just one, but a handful of owl treats. Cleite eyed the pile for a moment, seeming to Ally to contemplated whether it was a proper apology or not for the length of time involved, and after a moment, seemed to decide that she was, in fact, forgiven. Making quick work of the offering, the owl looked up expectantly. "Think you're up for a little trip?" Cleite obligingly stuck out her leg. "Take this to dad, all right? Quickly as you can." Attaching the letter and watching as the owl flew out of sight, Ally sighed. She might actually get a howler out of this one, and the idea of it made her flinch. At least this time she'd told them ahead, and that was something, wasn't it.

Dear Dad,

Do you remember what you said about being able to give me a break when I told you about things ahead of time? I thought I should tell you that I made plans with Cameron yesterday to go and visit his house in London. The only thing is that we're planning to go and do it this weekend. I know we're breaking a lot of rules here, but it will be the only chance we get. He just found out his parents are going to sign a contract for his impending marriage with a girl he barely knows, and you know, once that's done they probably won't be very comfortable with his having girls over. I know you're probably not going to be happy about this, but I promise I'll be careful, and that I'll owl you the moment I get back. Please understand. I love you, and mum too when she reads this.

Ally

Nothing left to do now except wait, she knew, wondering how soon the response would arrive, or if one would come at all. She hadn't exactly asked permission had she? Ah well, what was done was done. She left the owlry and headed back to the common room. She needed to get ready for the day and get to breakfast, something told her that since she had exciting plans for tomorrow, it was going to take forever to arrive.

@shava4

[ALLEANA LEI MOON]

Surprised again, he nodded, going along with the plan. "Yeah...that works. And barefoot? They probably won't notice till someone trods on your feet at the table. That happens often enough even with shoes on. We have a lot of left footed yearmates in the dorm." Picking up the bag he motioned for her to lead the way. "And thanks for the warning, I'll take the clothes into the shower with me since I am sure you will be sitting on my bed when I come out."

She grinned. "I'm usually the one doing the trodding, so I'll take my chances." She grins mischievously at him. "Spoil sport" she answers, clearly joking as she follows him down the hall toward the Lions' dorm.

Since he could remember meeting the rat tail end of a towel as he came out of the showers once, he didn't regret the precaution and grinned at her. "You've already gotten me once, goof, I'm not letting it happen twice if I can help it!" They walked back to the dorm and then he ran up the steps to the boy's dorm fast, grabbing what he needed and being sure after the towel was around his middle to put his other stuff in the trunk before she came up, forgetting his bag on the bed with his jacket sticking out slightly. Running to the shower he began the quickest shower with still soap that he could imagine.

"Doesn't make you any less of a spoil sport" she returned, but let it go afterward. While he was in the shower, she headed for the dorm, stashing her shoes before she headed for his, situating herself barefoot on his bed, she noticed the bag and the jacket. Smirking, she took it out carefully and eyed it. With barely any hesitation, she slid it on, leaving it open and tucked her legs underneath her.

Drying off inside the shower, he dressed roughly, sliding his hair back for the moment. Pulling his shirt on and then his shorts, he bound up his towel and stepped in front of the mirror carefully, seeing she hadn't come in. Brushing his now wet hair back carefully, he stepped to the door and froze as he saw her. Long bare legs came seemingly out of his coat like she was wearing nothing and his face flushed with the thoughts that ran through there. "Ally..." he breathed and then shook his head, holding his towel slightly differently so it covered his midsection unconsciously as he crossed the room, trying to and succeeding in looking mostly embarrassed. "You...I was just sweating through a workout in that you know." Merlin! Would she smell him in it? Would that make her look at him more? The adolescent visions running through his mind as he carefully hung his towel on the end of his bed breathing out a sigh of disappointment and relief as he could see from here she had shorts and a shirt on. "Ally, you -- I don't know if I should let you wear that to eat cake. You'll get stuff on it..."

She shrugged. "It doesn't actually stink you know. I was just messing with you." She held it up to her nose and sniffed. "Just smells like you, which I guess means I smell like you too, but that's details." She pouted childishly for a second, "I think I know how to eat without making a mess 'Den" she pointed out. She shrugged out of it, leaving it draped over his bag leaving her in the same shirt and shorts as before. "Better?"

The idea of her going around smelling like him too made him remember the last time she had left his bed in the morning and he had rolled over, inhaling her off the sheets, the image was at once intimate beyond words as well as extremely erotic to his innocent mind. Now with a serious issue around midsection, he stayed at the foot of his own bed, mind a whirl. "Uh..." Gah, his mind scrambled for words which sounded normal. "Um yes, I would hope so, it's just white." She removed it drawing more attention then she intended to her feminine form and he swallowed. "T-thanks. You, uh, ready to go? Lead on..."

She looked from him to the jacket and back and then shrugged, oblivious. "I'll limit myself to stealing your colored clothes in the future then" she said playfully. She eyed him for a moment. "You okay? You look a little..." She didn't have a word for it. She hopped off the bed. "Ready for cake? Always."

He half-laughed, shrugging her question off or trying to. "Oh it's... it's the shower, I got it too warm. Let's go. Race ya?" He followed her out the door, hoping the awkwardness of running would help, but it just made his midsection hurt from clothes pulling. However by the time they got down a few floors his reaction was much lower and he breathed easier. Tonight, however, he was going to have to deal with those feelings again he knew...

Ally had originally intended to scale the castle wall, but upon reaching the roof where her equipment was stashed, had changed her mind. She didn't need a rush after all, what she really needed was time, time to sort through the events of the last few days, time to sort through her feelings. Holding her arm out, palm up, she willed the tattoo to appear, and it did so, wrapping around her wrist. She traced it with her fingertips. Cameron Clarke, she realized, had ingrained himself far more deeply than a tattoo. Unlike most people, Ally could change her skin to reflect nearly anything she wanted. Even the actual tattoo that trailed her right side could be banished at a moment's notice. She thought of it now, of the lengths she'd gone to to get it, of Cameron, so supportive, so willing to let her experience anything and everything she wanted, to intensify it even, to points even she hadn't been sure she could take. She remembered her last coherent thoughts before the rush had come in his room the night before. Had she given him something beyond the obvious? She had chosen Cameron specifically because the risk of either of them becoming attached was minuscule, or so she'd thought.

The drawing flashed before her mind's eye. His heart, he had claimed, and the thought that she had, for any length of time, captured some part of him, had thrilled her for reasons she couldn't quite grasp. Maybe, maybe it was because he had touched her far more deeply than she had intended, and believing she had touched him also helped to justify that a bit. She reached the edge of the tattoo and it was gone again, faded into the skin as though it had never been there. Cameron had gotten under her skin in a way she hadn't known was possible. For those few moments, in the afterglow of what had happened between them, she would have done anything he asked of her, anything he wanted. It was as though being with him had drugged her senses, intensified certain things and dulled others to the point of near-non-existence. She brought her knees up, laid her arms across them and looked up at the stars. How she had always loved the sky, the way it never changed, always the same stars, beautiful and fiery and consistent, like her mother, the thought came as a surprise. Her mother who had been special enough to tame the wilder aspects of her father's personality, her mother who had resisted past all reasonable sanity for sheer stubbornness. Her parents would, and frequently had moved heaven and earth for one another, different as night and day and yet...there was something beautiful about that too, the determination with which they had carved out a place in themselves to accept one another, to cherish those differences. Was that love? she wondered. Not the fiery, consuming, drug-like sensations that came fleetingly in secret, but the determination to cherish one another above all else?

She suspected that no matter what Cameron had said about his heart, he would have little trouble adjusting to a new conquest. Now that her mind was clear, she was able to acknowledge that while some part of him may have cared about her, if he had loved her, really loved her the way her parents loved one another, the day before would have been a beginning and not an end. It had been the right thing to say and nothing more. Somehow, she couldn't find it in herself to resent him for it. Cameron was doing what was best for Cameron, and that was to be expected, she guessed. Subsequently, she supposed it was time to do what was best for herself as well, which meant getting over what had happened and moving on, it meant starting fresh with the lessons she'd learned from this experience, it meant letting go. She lay back against the cool stone, watching the sky. She thought of Aiden, of his willingness to be there for her come what may, even if it had meant scaling the castle with her tonight, of laying in his dorm, pouring her heart out without fear of judgment or rejection. The thought of Aiden didn't overwhelm her the way Cameron did, but there was something, some small inkling in the realization of just how much she trusted him, how much she cared and knew beyond doubt those feelings were returned. Her mind drifted over broken, half-dreams for several minutes before she realized she was falling asleep and sat up, climbing carefully back down and sneaking back to the girls' dorm.

Closing the curtains and curling up under the sheets, she sighed. Whatever happened, she knew she could depend on Aiden to protect her, to have her back when all else failed. What more could she ask for, really, than that?

@shava4444

[ALLEANA LEI MOON]

She should just give in and move her bed up here for all the time she spent studying the stars as though they held the answers she so desperately needed. She had kissed him. Not Cameron, she'd kissed him hundreds, maybe thousands of times, but Aiden. She. Had. Kissed. Aiden. There was no denying the fact, and Ally wouldn't have done. What she didn't know, could neither confirm nor deny, was why she had done it. Was it Cameron's impending marriage that had driven her to reach out to the one person she felt she could depend on? Was she beginning to realize feelings she had been unaware of, or worse yet, had ignored? She didn't know, and the thoughts swirled around in her mind, confusing her thoughts and giving her the beginnings of a massive headache. Ally's life wasn't supposed to be this dramatic. It had never been this hard before. Ally didn't do drama, she just didn't. So why had she done it? Kissed her best friend mere days after Cameron had dropped the bomb about his future wife. Wife. Cameron was no more suited to marriage than she was, and the thought of him tied down saddened her for reasons she didn't quite understand and couldn't explain.

The chill of early fall hadn't provided any clarity. At this rate, she might never sleep again. She cared deeply for Aiden, trusted him unquestioningly and unconditionally. There was literally nothing she wouldn't do for him, but Cam...she wanted Cameron. Being with him was the ultimate rush, the kind you that completely possessed you and left you craving every second until you had it again. Being with him had changed her in ways she was loathe to admit to. Aiden though...the look in his eyes after she'd kissed him, the moment before she'd bolted from the room...the wonder she'd seen in his expression had been...eye-opening. Cameron had never looked at her like that. With desire, yes, but never....never the tenderness she'd seen reflected in Aiden's eyes. "Merlin!" She picked up a lose stone that had chipped from the roof and hurled it as hard and as far as she could. It was a choice, but no choice. Cameron was getting married, and would soon be out of reach, but there were always guys like Cameron, guys she knew she could have if she wanted. She could spend her life chasing that kind of rush....that feeling. She closed her eyes.

Merlin, that feeling!

But, there were other feelings, things like love and commitment which had never before appealed to Ally but which she was beginning to see differently through the eyes of a boy who was currently sleeping a few feet below. She sighed. Torturing herself like this was getting her nowhere, and if she was going to face the music in the morning, she needed sleep. She would have to talk to Aiden, to try and explain why she had done what she'd done, which meant she needed to find an answer herself. Hooking herself in, she braced for the trip back down to the dorm, creeping carefully back through her bedroom window. She could go to him tonight, she knew, but she was no closer to an answer now than she'd been the moment she realized what had happened, and crawling into his bed would solve nothing, and worse yet would probably make things even more complicated. So she climbed into her own instead, pulled the covers over her head and drifted into a fitful sleep. This particular sleep, however, was plagued with strange, intense dreams.

She watched the story play out in first person, a story in which she ran away and married Cameron to rescue him from the trap of an arranged marriage. She saw herself reject her parents' wishes in favor of her own, saw a wedding in a beautiful, distant place, she saw and experienced in vivid detail an intensely pleasurable honeymoon. The kind of life she had never even dreamed of having with Cameron Clarke, and yet in one night she had seen it unfold before her, and when she awoke, gasping, wide-eyed and clutching for something just out of reach, she knew it wasn't Aiden who should have to face her questions, her doubts, it was Cameron. He had done this, had consumed her in his skills, in his reckless, burning passionate zest for life and sensation. He had done it, and now she shouldn't have to deal with the consequences alone. She wanted him....answers...him. She needed closure, she told herself. Proof that she was over it so that she could move on properly. It was a convincing enough life to get her up and out of bed. She would find him, she decided, find answers and closure and then she would move on, she promised herself. She would forget every touch, every word, everything that had ever happened between the two of them.

The truly miraculous thing in all this was that Ally, for one moment, convinced herself she could.

@shava4