comfort is a hard thing to come by [xarrah]

[ALEXANDER STRIFE DUVAL]

Alexander hadn't been following his usual pattern of doing things. He had recently found himself running into a very interesting librarian and then all the things that followed were kind of a strange blur. He wasn't sure what to make of his way of doing things. he had spent so much time on the run and now all of a sudden for the second time in a very short period he was walking around in plain sight. He was a murderer and he was wanted for that, rightfully so. His entire family died at his hands and that wasn't something that was liked in a world like this, or any other for that matter. Honestly though he wasn't that mean of a person, he always ended up getting upset over what happened with his family and when that happened it was obvious that he regretted it deeply. The only real reason that he continued to run to this day was that he was so terrified of dementors. Nothing in the world was as scary as one of those floating, hooded looking bastards. The thought would send a shiver down his spine.

He had been hungry today, more so than he had been the past few days and so he decided to get out and go grab something to eat. Lisa had been on his mind a lot lately. She was such a sweet girl. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he enjoyed her company, something about her wonderful presence made him feel not so bad about the things he had done. She accepted him a lot easier than he ever thought anyone else could. It was strange but he liked it. For once he had someone that he could talk to again. He didn't have to hide between trees and duck under the water anymore and he hoped more than anything right now that it stayed that way. So, When he had finally found a place to grab something to eat. He strolled inside and dropped his hood down off of his head. Over the past few days he had figured that the best way to go unnoticed was to be right in front of peoples eyes and just look normal. If he wandered around looking like he had done something then people would stare but if he was inside somewhere or outside on the street just being easy and normal people might look at him but he'd just be another face in that case.

Perhaps thinking like he was doing now was something he should have been doing all along. Alexander looked around briefly to see how many people were inside and to see if any of them looked like someone he should be hiding from. Of course there was someone around here that would easily know his face but he didnt see them. Alexander was a unique looking guy and some people would actually recognize him. That pretty face was a curse too. He finally took a few more steps inside. he removed his jacket and slung it back over his shoulder. Just as he did someone crossed his path. He froze in place. Something about seeing someone that might say his name or yell out loud freaked him out. He started to breath a bit heavier, he wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't think at all. he thought he would be cooling with coming out today but obviously not.

"Xar?" He said loudly. Instantly he wanted to smack himself so hard he passed out. In his head he was screaming at himself asking why the hell he spoke. He was suppose to go unnoticed by people, not meet old friends. he was going to get himself caught one day soon if he didnt straighten himself out.

[XARRAH PRIMROSE OLLIVANDER]

WHO KNEW

i'll keep you locked in my head, until we meet again. until we, until we meet again. and i won't forget you my friend. what happened? if someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone. i'd stand up and punch them out, cause they're all wrong and that last kiss i'll cherish until we meet again. and time makes it harder. i wish i could remember. but i keep your memory. you visit me in my sleep. my darling, who knew?--------------------------------------------------------------------

Days seemed to be dragging by, filled with studying and waiting for school to end. But this year was different. This year, school would end for good. It was Xarrah's seventh and final year, which meant when the term was over, she'd be out searching for a job instead of safe within the walls of Hogwarts. The only good part about leaving was knowing she'd probably be able to see James more often. But she'd be leaving a lot of her friends. Sure, some were graduating with her, but that didn't mean they'd be taking the same path. And then there were those who were younger than herself. Unless her job was at Hogwarts, she wouldn't see them very often and that saddened her. Xarrah was the type to love and love hard. If she thought of you as a friend, she held onto that until she couldn't keep hold any longer. Most of the time, it wouldn't be her choice. Maybe she was just worrying too much thought. Look a her and James. He graduated a year earlier than herself and they were now dating and closer than ever. Maybe graduation wasn't so bad after all. She'd just have to wait and find out.

Walking down Diagon Alley, the red head's eyes searched for a place to go or maybe even someone to spend some time with. She had gone out there alone, but that didn't always mean she wanted to stay alone. With a growl of her stomach, she figured she should probably grab a bite to eat. Maybe she'd run into someone wherever she ended up. Her feet carried her a couple more minutes as her eyes continued to search for where she wanted to go. She had to choose wisely because she'd only be upset if the food didn't hit the spot right.

Into the Diagon Deep Dish she went. With the smell of pizza, she just couldn't resist and it had been quite some time since she had had a good slice. When she had made her way in, she went to the counter and ordered a slice of cheese pizza before waiting on it to come out. When it had, she paid for it and turned to go find a table. She was never the type to feel awkward about eating alone. Why should she? It didn't make her look like a loner, like some people feared. She was confident in who she was and who her friends were. She knew she was far from alone, and that made her comfortable in such situations.

Passing someone who had just walked in, she didn't notice the person until her name was called in a familiar voice. Stopping in her tracks, she turned, her emerald eyes landing on an old friend's face. Her brows furrowed in confusion, not expecting to see him. After all, it had been a few years since they had spoken. "Alex?" She said finally, her voice down low so she didn't attract any attention. Stepping closer to him, the corners of her mouth turned up into a warm and welcoming smile. But it soon faded when she thought of why she hadn't seen him in so long. He was a wanted man; wanted for something she wasn't sure he did. At least, she didn't want to believe he did it. "Alex, what are you... what are you doing here?" It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, or that she didn't want him around. Quite the contrary. She was happy to see her old friend again and maybe they could catch up. But he was running the risk of getting caught and one of her friends being arrested was not something Xarrah would like to see. After everything that had happened so far that year, it was last on her list.

TAG: ALEXANDER STRIFE DUVAL

WORD: 640

Note: yay! < 3

NOTE:
CHARACTER's Speech
CHARACTER's Thoughts

Lyrics: Who Knew by Pink; Template by Paige @ WATR

[ALEXANDER STRIFE DUVAL]

Alexander's worry seemed to rise higher than it had in recent days. He thought for sure someone would notice him now. He nearly panicked and tried to run but he managed to keep himself still. He looked at Xarrah and tried to think of something to say but what could he say, what could he do? The two use to be close and then things happened, not between them but with his family. In this moment he realized how much he had lost outside of his family that night three years ago. He had been controlled by his rage and grief for so long that he hadn't taken the time to realize that he had left people like Xarrah alone. Not to say that she didn't have friends but the two had an interesting relationship. A great many things came to Alexander's mind as he looked at her. They had an interesting friendship and he was really sorry that it had to fade away. This was even more proof to the young man that his actions needed to be better controlled, his emotions needed handling and his will power needed work. Why did he have to lose so much? he was only seventeen at the time. Did things really have to go the way they did, did he have to break, did he have to kill just to survive? He shoved his thoughts to the back of his mind and suddenly moved forward. he threw his arms around her and squeezed. It would probably draw more attention than he wanted it to but oh well.

"it's been forever." He said as he held onto her for a moment. Since he had gone on the run the only friend he had made was Lisa. He liked her, she was sweet to him but he needed some of those people that use to know him as well, at least, someone who wouldn't throw him under the bus. Alexander use to be a fragile person, as far as his anger went anyway. Anything would make him fly off the handle but now he was a bit more reserved because he had been doing all of this hiding. He had learned to be more careful with his actions, to better control his emotions and when to shut up but he was still a violent dangerous.

He was going to struggle for a long time with everything that had happen and it was going to be very difficult for him to come back into this world. He could never pretend things didnt happen but he couldn't go on forever telling himself they couldn't change either. He could be a good guy if he tried hard enough, maybe he could even mostly make up for what he had done. If enough of his friends were around, his old friends, maybe he could find a way to do some good, help some people and avoid azkaban. If that ever happened he would spend the rest of his days helping anyone and everyone. "Im so sorry. I didn't.. i don't... i don't know what im doing here. I didn't know you were inside." He spoke softly as he had still never broken away from his hug.

There wasn't a single soul he could trust for sure, especially those that knew who he was and what he had done but he hoped that he could trust her. The amount of times he had needed someone like her over these past months was amazing. It really hurt to be so alone, especially when he carried so much regret. Finally he let her go and moved back just a little bit.