A Different Side Of Him (Nienna)

[Deleted]

Thad had made Nienna a promise for that day. No talk of dark spells or the Black Army or anything that had really been associated with Thad most of his young life. Today was a simple day, a day to explore what Thad and Nienna had between them, and that was simply love. True, genuine love. Whatever dark cloud was above this love was irrelevant. At the core, the love itself was pure. Thad cared about Anna with all his heart. He would fight for her and die for her. He would trade every goal he had ever had just to spend the rest of his life holding her in his arms. That's how strong this love had become.

So today Thad would show a side of himself really only Nienna had seen. He arranged a picnic lunch with the school's House Elves. He had learned what some of Anna's favorite foods were and had them prepared. He bought some sparkling grape juice from the Magical Neep as well. Hardly wine, but they couldn't have that on the grounds anyway, but it still tasted quite nice.

Thad stood by the spread and awaited Anna. He would not sit and touch anything until she had arrived. He wanted the day to be perfect for her.

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

^{"Weakness is earth after lightning strikes."}

@thorn

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A gentle smile touched her features; her eyes following the spirited flits of the blue-plumed siskins, their perches weaving and shuffling behind the early spring lights. It had taken most of her courage to step out of her darkness once more; to face the world with who she was not, to search for joy in the lost messages of her forfeited scenery. She breathed the familiarity in, all at once; the scent of rain-washed fields, the solitary presence of the water's verge, the chirps of three skylarks bursting into flight; left to right, right to left. With a downward trail of her fingers, the roughness of the paper flew her back to her reality; into her darkness.

A day to remember.

A day for us.

She steadied herself by the edge of the boathouse, carefully treading the old wooden beams that shook with her steps; one hand balancing her feet forward, another hugging the whitened wrapping tightly; as if the object would immediately vanish if she let one finger part from its surface.

Finding the vessel nearest from the vastness of the lake, Anna stopped and drifted the little bundle up, over the other boats and past the hurrying wind. It flew halfway into the boat when she remembered. The keelson must be sinking in rainwater. How silly, Anna, wake from your sweet daze. That silken robe you threaded for him all winter.. Wouldn't want to ruin it now, would you? She readied herself to tread across the boats, to have a closer reach from the sleeping vessel. The hot-air spell works better in close proximity. She chose the second boat nearest from the pier. With a complicated movement of her wand, left palm steadying her perch at the transom; she dried the flat bottom, the frames and the thwarts of the far boat; and drifted her precious gift to lay beneath the bottom boards.

Noticing how time was slipping by, she uttered a quick series of disillusionment charms on the idle watercraft, watching blissfully as its outlines seamlessly faded into the background.

What she did not notice was the Slytherin senior, Roderick – having followed her through the school doors, across the Lawns, towards the Boathouse.

What she had failed to notice, too, was his hooded eyes that blazed with mischief as he hid himself between the trees; reciting a period of hexes on the boat she was in.

Out of the quiet lake sprang the wrath of a dozen water nymphs – all happening too fast, too quick for her to catch herself before splashing into the darkened waters. Her breaths turned to water, under the surface; her hands gasped for air, catching the deafening morning wind. Should have learned to swim before – before.. Thad! Each constricted breath was sharpening itself up her nose, each desperate stroke weakening as her head alternated between the leaping waters. Her lungs were giving out.

____
____

Thad..

With the last shred of her consciousness, she called out to him. He had taught her the stealthy art of their communication networks, but she had never used it before.

Will it work?

Will he hear?

Will I die?

but steady, the rights and the wrongs,
invade us, as innocent song
♥

[Deleted]

Thad looked at his pocket watch. Anna was late, and this was most odd of her. She was about to decide to give her a few moments more when he heard the yell in the distance. He didn't think, he just reacted. He just ran, pulling out his wand and focusing on the direction of the scream. He was fully prepared to fight for his love, not matter what the cost. Thad was no hero, but he was a boy who loved Anna with all his heart.

He arrived on the scene and his body grew cold when he saw Anna drowning, the sea nymphs pulling her in. He blasted them off one after the other with simple curses, putting them in enough pain for them to flee. But one held on, one was determined to end Anna's existence, and gave Thad mocking eyes. Thad simply and slowly shook his head before he took perfect aim at the creature. He had to have perfect aim for what he was about to do.

"Avada Kedavra," he hissed. One green blast later and the creature's grip loosened on Anna and sunk into the water... stone dead. Thad then pulled Anna out of the water, saying nothing. He just held her in his arms, thankful to... well something that she was still alive.

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

^{"Now the sky is cruel, already plotting tragedies across the supernal parchment."}

@thorn

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The coldness that was like the darkness.

I do not want to die like this.

Please ..
___
___

---

Two lithe feet trampled on dry leaves and broken twigs. The smell of earth was still painted in each drop of vapor. A rainbow, the arc in all its melancholic colours; fixed itself across the noonday sky, beyond the wispy clouds; fixed itself in her green irises  ..

The birds, the squirrels. She could hear them conversing in the distance, as if beckoning her to enter their kingdom of comfort.

"Pass auf, Kind," snarled the guide, his voice hoarser than the surface of a sandpaper; motioning for her to walk along the inner paths by the edge of the water. He walked past her without taking any heed. He seemed vengeful, bitter. How can somebody be so bitter around this much beauty? Anna wanted to ask, but she stopped herself when he quickly disappeared further into the woods.

Had Mama agreed to let her and Eri ride their little brooms, they would not need to hire a guide. Then again, Ma was always worried about them using magic when Papa was not around. Eri was holding Ma's hand as they walked together, cameras and notebooks readied in their hands. Anna was not carrying anything.

When the white hawk swooped carelessly from behind, she nearly fell off out of shock. Letting out a surprised yelp, she watched, fascinated; as its white pinions waved and rested among the branches. Darting forward hurriedly, she had wanted to get closer to the hawk before a frail piece in the boardwalk gave way below her feet.

She slipped, teetered off her balance. Down the precarious slope she fell; all happening too fast, too quick for her to catch herself before splashing into the darkened waters. The air was cold, the water was freezing. Screaming her lungs out, grasping onto every catch of water she could thrash; Anna could hear more screams coming from Ma and Eri.
___
___

When I woke at the Muggle hospital, Ma was crying. Eri was still holding her hand. 

It was a miracle that she lived, the guide repeated again and again.  

---

___
___

Why has darkness taken over my sight ..

Is this the heaven that I so wished for, even without having tasted an inkling of its sheer coldness?

All around her was the bitter blackness, entrapping her visions with indifferent silence. She craned her neck, reaching out, fighting to find a sliver of light. She tried to turn around, or so it seemed to her; it was as if she was adrift across a sleeping ocean. When her fingers instinctively reached up, feeling her own flesh and bones; they felt as thinly as paper.

Is this what humans are made of? The crisp of trees?

Quickly; she returned to her thoughts, to derive herself an escape plan.

A curtain of salvation. It was never there when I looked. Where else.. I am dying, ain't I?

Her thinned flesh was cold. But her body found no strength even to shiver. Her mind could not find the path back to her consciousness.

---

When a breath of light suddenly rushed from behind her, she hastily pivoted to look for its source. 

Sind Sie, Oma..? Is that you, Oma.. ? She reached up for her locket, feeling its concrete edges answering her nervous touch.

Have I gone back in time? Oma, help me. I cannot die yet.

Run, Anna, run, liebe Kind. Find that light out there, she spoke. Yes, your destiny has not found you yet. Remember, meine liebe Kind, no-one chooses evil because of itself; but only because she mistakes it for happiness. Look, Anna. What have you done to yourself?

I.. I cannot see anything out here. Where am I? Allow me to see.

I have been watching you, Anna. I will look after you. Return, now.

Oma!

---

She awoke with a searing cough. From her lying stance, her two lungs expelled water; her breaths that were stolen by the cruelness of death, now were returned to grant her life. Her wand was still clenched in her right hand; as tightly as she had clutched onto his hand. She had not even realised how strongly she was holding onto him.

Another parching cough.

As though returning to the beginning of her existence, she was alive.

But she was wrong.

This was a fatal love.

Loosening her grip on his hand, a furious stream of tear crept insidiously down her cheeks as she struggled to sit up. No, it was not the inexplicable pain coursing through her bloodlines. It was the throbbing pain in her heart that threatened her nascent determination; her obstinate attachment towards him.

Leave. She was conflicted. Her thoughts still loathed weakness, remembering her helplessness in the face of countless danger and rejections; but something in her begged for an explanation. A logical validation for her actions, a justification for her sins; if there ever was one. An expiation.

How ironic it was that I had to drown to be washed off of this illusion.

Never let the tears show. It will be hidden by the soak, anyway.

Weakness is never absent, her thoughts dashed after one another recklessly. Weakness is human. What tragic foolishness had led you to believing that being dark, being evil was powerful? This is your conscience, slowly superseding your blind ignorance towards darkness.

"Thank you," she whispered to him. Getting up from the soft ground; still crying silently; her soaked figure looked at him, meeting his upward gaze.

"I.. I'll be alright," she spoke through her chattering teeth; huddling herself closer for warmth. "Please, do not worry about me. Forgive me for having made you run after someone in such haste." She wiped the tears with the back of her hand. Why do you have to love someone like me? Why do I have to love someone like you? She even forgot his gift, one that she had spent all winter knitting lovingly; the only thought ringing in her mind was to be alone.

"And forgive me for ruining such a beautiful day," she added before turning to take her abrupt leave, preparing her wand arm for the Hot-Air Charm. Do you realise how strange you sound? Is this how you repay the person, your beloved, who just rescued you from the hands of death?

She tried to avoid his gaze, tried to be by herself to break away from her enraptured daze. Yet, if Thad would pull her back into his embrace again; she was nearly sure that she would still relent.

Yet, for how long, Anna?

♥

i’m sorry but i can’t
everything comes shaking back to me now
by waiting a little more
by wandering through my dreams

[Deleted]

Thad promised to show a different side of himself that day, and he did. Even in murdering the creature, he was only doing so to save the one he loved. And yes there he was, a concerned lover relieved that the one he loved was alright. He kissed her on the forehead as he held her.

"I would run to the earth and back for you, my dark angel," he said softly. "And seeing you here and alive after watching you almost be taken from me by that abomination has made this day all the more beautiful."

Thad stroked her hair and looked deep in her eyes. Had he actually told her what he was about to tell her. It seemed now, with indeed having almost lost her, he needed to.

"I love you, Anna," he said, showing that rare look gentility that only Anna was allowed to see. "I love you more than I have loved any other being. I would die a thousand deaths if I lost you. And I would praise each day that you live a thousand times over, grateful a thousand fold for every moment I am allowed to spend with you."

He then leaned in and kissed her again.

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

^{"False directions, like swords; hurtle through paper hearts."}

@thorn

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Slowly, her pain dissipated from her heart into two lungs; and fatigue was sinking into her state of mind. She had not even muttered her incantations complete before he decided to pull her into his warmth once again. Like a fish that was out of the water for three minutes long, she was left gasping for the comfort of the ocean. But what was her ocean, exactly?

These touches that wrapped her coldness, jarred her body to shudder without restrain; sent her flesh wanting to crawl away from their sudden contact. Each breath that lingered down her neck made her hate her little self endlessly through the second.

She was still cold.

She was still lost.

Is this the love that she used to daydream of when she was little?

---

Flipping through storybooks, and photo albums of her parents; she fluttered her eyelids close and imagined her own happily-ever-after. She brushed it away at once, thinking how foolish of her to believe in fairy tales and a certain prince charming.

She looked at her twin curiously; bathed in the golden evening glow of the heavens.

"Eri! Mama's evening glory must have bloomed!" The little girl shrilled and yanked profusely at her twin's hem, lowering her voice at once. "Let's go see our secret garden."

A smile quickly came upon the softness of her dewy-eyed gaze.

---

Looking at her shivering feet, she tightened her hold on his lapels, her tears blending in with the cold waters raining down the fabric. Why, Thad? What must I do? Can we work this out? I am so sorry, I am so helpless..

She touched her forehead against his chest, feeling an overwhelming rush of mixed emotions. Questions hammered relentlessly out of her conscience.

Each sketch of their affections replayed itself through her mind; a stark reminder of her own promises made towards him, each dipped in darkness thick as tar.

I do not know how to salvage my heart, or my mind.

But I might know how to save yours.

"I love you, too," said Anna. She did not know how long more she could contain the words she needed to say to him, but moment by moment, it seemed as if the words would hurt him. And little by little, it seemed as if she did not want to say it. I cannot live like this, always hiding away from the world because of who I am. I cannot keep hurting these people around me, as if they were worth nothing more than dead leaves. I cannot, I cannot, I cannot ...

She kissed him in return, thinking that if she could devote her life to him; she would at least be able to keep one soul safe.

She was wrong.

He would be safe. But her life, she can no longer devote her everything to him. Not with all that she was.

Something in her threatened to fight back, as each precious moment before her life had been – a constant battle raging tempestuously within the confines of her mind.

A faint glimmer threatened to light the dark room she had locked herself in.

---

After drying her hair and her clothes with her charm, she followed him towards the lawns; relying on her own remnants of strength to traverse through the expanse of the school grounds.

..have you realised how cold I was just now?

..have you realised that I have been skipping my meals?

..have you realised my lasting hesitance?

♥

i’m sorry but i can’t
everything comes shaking back to me now
by waiting a little more
by wandering through my dreams