always hope for the willing -- xarrah

[ICARUS ALAWN LUGUBELENUS]

In their second year, after the murder of his mother, Icarus had been plagued with vivid night terrors. For the longest time sleep had seemed impossible. The use of a dreamless sleep potion had been helpful, but it had been a temporary fix. Icarus had not been prepared for the nights he would face with out the aid of magic to block his mind. There was a reason they discouraged overusing the potion, it was far too easy to find comfort in its effect - a bliss of sorts. Icarus had grown too accustom to not having to face the demons of his sleep, a harsh reality he was met with when he was cut off from the one thing that kept the night terrors away. It had been with the help of his friends - Charlie, Xarrah, Aisling, and Ollie - that Icarus had managed to work through the ghosts that haunted him. While he wasn't sure he was going to ever truly be better he had come to think that he at least had a chance at being normal. He believed that somehow his nights of waking in a cold sweat were over, but he was wrong.

It'd been about a week since the ball. A week since the best night of his life had turned into one of the worst. He'd stayed in the hospital wing with Charlie till he knew he was going to be alright - at least in the most general usage of the term. But Charlie saw the tall-tale signs of what was going on with Icarus. The deep set eyes, the black rings that seemed to darken after each night. The night terrors were back, except it wasn't his mother who he saw dying over and over and over. Every time he drifted off he saw the girl he had dreamed of many times before draining the life from the guy who he had come to love as his brother. And time after time he woke screaming out their names with his body drenched in sweat.

So he just stopped sleeping. Except for the odd hours when his eyes grew all to heavy, but he awoke the same every time. Screaming. Charlie had told Icarus he needed to sleep, and he promised he would. But he lied. How could he face the visions that danced in his head? It had been bad enough living though it, to feel the rush of the pain over and over - it felt as if it was killing him. Some had tried to talk to him about it, to get him to open up. But just like their second year Icarus had started to shut everyone out. Charlie was his focus right now. Charlie could tell him over and over that he was alright but Icarus wasn't buying it. None of them were alright. They never would be alright. Not after this. He was almost sure of that.

Not until Drew paid for this. Icarus knew the truth now, some part of him had known it all along. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe this had just pushed him far enough that something inside him had snapped. But Icarus wanted to watch Drew suffer. Drew was the reason Charlie might never be able to face his family again, he would never be able to enjoy a summer day in the sun, he would have to watch all his friends die while he lived. Drew was the reason Aisling was avoiding them, or stopped talking to them, or whatever the bloody hell she was doing that wasn't being beside Charlie when he needed her the most. Drew was the reason Xochilt had fled, he had used her like some pawn in a game of chess, manipulated her like his own little puppet and it made Icarus sick. Drew had ruined everything. Blood for blood.

Night had come but Icarus didn't bother heading up to the boy's dorm, what was the point he wouldn't sleep and even if he did he was bond to only wake everyone in the room when the screaming started. He had avoided everyone as best he could, stayed with Charlie till he was told he really needed to head back his common room. Now he sat alone with just the crackling fire his eyes fixed on the dancing orange flames. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, after all he could tally the hours he hand slept in the week on his fingers and still had some to spare, but all he could see was her dancing. It moved the way she did, the orange flames just like her hair when she twirled with such elegance. It was hypnotic and beautiful, just like her....

Slowly his heavy eyelids dropped. He tried to fight it, but it was like fighting weights carrying you to the bottom of the sea. Useless. So he drifted into the darkness, he was tired of fighting, he was tired. Maybe it will be okay. Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe it could have been, but it wasn't. Soon he is trashing about on the couch seated near the fire. Visions of a beautiful girl with blood stained lips over the dead body of a boy so dear to him. Its enough to make him scream out her name over and over as she runs. "X-Xochilt! Xochilt! Xochilt!" He yells as he falls to the ground. He doesn't know where he is, his eyes frantic as he looks around. Where is Charlie? Where is Xochilt? Was it just a dream? Or was this? His breathing is sharp and shallow but he hears her call his name. His eyes land on her, her and her strawberry colored hair and emerald eyes. Palms on the floor he pushes himself up and holds to the couch for support. "Xochilt..." Its barely a whimper as he looks away. She might have looked like her, she might have sounded like her, but she wasn't her. Looking up his eyes that are begging to cry meet the green eyes that belonged to Xarrah.

words: 1015
tag: XARRAH PRIMROSE OLLIVANDER
occ: i sorry about him >.<

[XARRAH PRIMROSE OLLIVANDER]

IN MY ARMS

castles, they might crumble. dreams may not come true. but you are never all alone, 'cause i will, i will always love you. when the clouds will rage in, storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms. rains will pour down, waves will crash around, but you will be safe in my arms. in my arms.--------------------------------------------------------------------

Sleep was not coming easily the past few nights. They were filled with tossing and turning and sometimes even nightmares that she wasn't used to having. Clearly in her mind she could see each and every one as soon as she jolted awake. All of them consisting of that wretched night her sister was forced into changing one of their best friends into a vampire. Oh, Xochilt. Her poor sister. Her lovely twin, forced to become something most viewed as a monster at such a young age; forced to feel the urge to feed on people, even her friends. If Xarrah could fix her, she would. If she could be the one to have gotten bitten, she would have made it so. Xarrah wanted nothing but to take the pain away from her sister and keep her safe. She knew she was devastated; she could feel it. They were twins after all, and lately they had been becoming closer like they had been as children. Lately she was able to feel the connection to her sister that she used to have. She could always tell when something was wrong and she was almost one hundred percent positive that was why she couldn't sleep and she was replaying the night of the attack in her nightmares over and over again.

But it wasn't just her twin sister. It was everyone who was there that night, minus Drew Reinhardt and Preston Sherwood. Sure, Preston had no part in actually making Xochilt attack Charlie, but he was on Drew's side. It was clear to see. They were best friends, why wouldn't he be? Of course, he did help them take down the barrior, but she still didn't care enough to view it as truly caring. It was just so hard for her to watch it all happen though. She had to see with her own eyes, her sister feeding and almost killing Charlie. Xarrah almost witnessed the death of one of her closest's friends. She had to witness another dear friend fight for his best friends life almost taken by the girl he cherished most. Dearest Icarus. So sweet and kind. So beautiful inside and out. He was such a lovely boy and one of the most genuine she knew. Xarrah loved that boy to pieces and she could honestly say he was probably her best guy friend, aside from James, but they were on two totally different levels. James was her boyfriend, Icarus her best friend. To see the brunette boy so broken and afraid killed Xarrah inside. Never had she seen him like that, and she never wanted to either. The worst part was that she couldn't even stay with him; to comfort him and make sure he was alright. She had to go after her sister whom took off. Xarrah didn't blame her sister and she would always be Xarrah's top priority, but leaving that boy behind broke her heart in so many ways. 

That night had been just like any of the other nights. Xarrah couldn't sleep and when she tried to, visions of that night flashed so violently and cruelly into her thoughts making her only toss about trying so hard to push them away. All that came was frustration and tears when she realized she couldn't. The pit of her stomach was dropping, making her feel sick and her chest was burning with utter anxiety for her friends and herself. But they came first. They always did. Her worries were about ninety-five percent for her friends and the rest for herself. It was just how she worked. Turning over heavily, tears flowing from her eyes, she noticed her roommate in the next bed over staring at her. Great. I woke someone up. Sighing, she pushed herself up and slipped out of bed. "I'm really, truly sorry for waking you. I'll just go." She whispered so she didn't disturb anyone else as she made her way to the stairs to lead her to the common room. 

Slowly Xarrah took each step down, her hand running the railing, her eye moist and her heart heavy. She was exhausted and really just wanted a bit of sleep. However, it was not her night to get any. When she'd be able to sleep again was beyond her, but she needed it if she was going to keep up with everything. She couldn't allow her grades to slip because of a stupid boy and his petty actions. Really, she just wanted to punch him in the face, but she was sure that was the exhaustion talking. After all, Xarrah was probably the least violent out of her friends. Unless she, or anyone she cared about was in true danger, she was pretty much a pacifist and made the conscious decision to walk away instead of fight.


When she had reached the bottom, her green eyes set on a familiar figure on the couch. He seemed so peaceful, but it was just an illusion; something that would not last but for only a few seconds. Jumping from being startled, the boy began to thrash about. She knew this all too well from her own nightmares. Rushing to his side, Xarrah dropped to her knees beside the boy. "Icarus! Icarus, wake up love. My sweet Icarus, please wake up. You're asleep. You're having a nightmare." She tried to call to him as he screamed her sister's name. Falling backwards, she scooted back fast enough to get out of the way as he fell of the couch, his eyes soon shooting open and searching frantically. The girl he wanted wasn't there. It was only her, the mirror image of the one he loved. But she wasn't going to leave him. Not again and not in this state. Taking a deep breath, she pushed away everything she was feeling for herself in order to concentrate on her friend before her.


Shifting, she slid over to him and reached out a hand to take his. "Icarus." Her tone was soft and calm, trying to be as soothing to the boy as she possibly could. Lifting her other hand, she ran her fingers through some of his messy brown locks. "Icarus, I'm here. Shhh." She cooed, scooting closer and pulling him into her arms as she started to run a gentle hand over his head like a mother would to her upset child. "It's alright now. You're safe. Everyone is safe. Please try to calm down. It breaks my heart to see you like this." She whispered into his hair before she placed a soft kiss on his head.

TAG: ICARUS ALAWN LUGUBELENUS

WORD: 1101

Note: UGH... that is all... ugh. Dx

NOTE:
CHARACTER's Speech
CHARACTER's Thoughts

Lyrics: In My Arms By Plumb; Template by Paige @ WATR