Emotions overflowing (Renanthe)

[DAENERYS AVERY GREYBACK]

Daenerys had no idea what time it was, perhaps around three in the morning, or where exactly she was. All she knew is that she needed to escape the party that had been going on in the Slytherin common room. It was the end of the year party and shortly her time at Hogwarts would be coming to an end. From the beginning of the night Daenerys hadn't felt like herself, she felt off, and could feel a storm brewing beneath the surface. Daenerys tried fighting it all night and even drowning it with liquor which usually works for her but tonight it made everything worse. She felt herself on the verge of snapping or crying most of the night between a few times of actually having fun. It finally got to a point where she needed to leave and quickly. She tried leaving unnoticed, not that many would care where she went anyways, and ended up wandering the halls.

Using the walls to guide her she found her way into the bathroom. Solitude is what she needed. Someone witnessing her in this state was not something Daenerys wanted. She was known for being tough and unemotional, she didn't want that image to fade nor was it really like her to be this vulnerable. Stumbling to the sink she turned the faucet on letting her hands run under the cold water. She took a minute to splash some on her face. She gripped both sides of the sink and leaned forward. Glancing at her reflection it was all she needed to break her. Tears began rolling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She let it all come rushing forward for she had been too strong for too long. After all in the last six month or so she has lost her father who was now locked up in Azkaban due to her brother, her years at Hogwarts was over and she had no idea which direction to go in, she felt alone, and the stupid frustration she felt over trying learn non-verbal magic. There was just so much she was holding it that it grew impossible to hold on any longer. She slowly slipped to the floor allowing herself to feel everything and to let it all out. She was so consumed by her emotions that she forgotten her fear of being found.


tagged: @renanthegaea
notes: The friendship shall begin

[Deleted]

^{"This transition is fraught with ambivalence I cannot contain."}

DAENERYS AVERY GREYBACK

----------------------------------------------------

Rejection. Useless is what you are. Even amid a lofty, selected few; you resolve to remain as nothing but a pathetic damsel. Who are you waiting for? Who you are going to grow old with? Don't you see yourself, Rena, hollowed out without any sense of direction whatsoever.. 

She wiped a trickle of tears across her cheeks, her fingers brushing the softness of her face like gravels on silk. All those days spent wandering in the woods, gathering Potion ingredients and pondering about life; all those days had returned her was callous fingers and harshened hands. What she heard from outside her room did not offer a single glimmer of benevolence, either; the endless cheering and nonsensical speeches, those were cold and inhumane indictments against herself.

Which was why she had found herself in this fetal position, drowning herself in the seamless ocean of sorrows; on a very, merry celebratory day.

Fainéasse. Tu es complètement inutile.
How indolent. You are completely useless.

She could hear the shadows laughing, mocking; in the wispy voice of her grandmother, taunting; at her incapability to revel in the festivities with her peers. Her days dragged by; sometimes slow-turning between the earthen rocks, sometimes simply scratching the Madrona barks, sometimes gliding and swimming across little streams that the rain has left behind. She loved the silence, the serenity of it all; she loved the solitude that embraced her without judgment, every single time; she loved being by herself.

But she could not bear feeling lost, like an empty shell without flesh.

Getting up from her four-poster; eyes still puffy from her ordeal, limbs shivering from the panic attack. If you cry, Rena, at least do it where no one would jeer. Seventeen year-old crying like a baby, what a bloody laugh it would make. She got up wearily, dressing-up lightly and took the longer way out, avoiding sharp glances from others who were barely awake at the moment. At least there's no one in that cursed bathroom. Without her conscious volition, Rena kept wiping her tears away, frustrated and regretful for the life that had been chosen for her. Amid the twilight, she squinted through bleary eyes and stepped up the familiar stairways; finding herself greeted by the past-midnight winds of the halls.

This is not the first time. Getting caught is never her concern, anyway; those prefects would rather keep quiet than to catch her amid her routines. Rena stumbled into the bathroom, hands still cradling her elbows from the night chill.

Strange, she thought, where are the moans?

She squinted at the cubicles, rapping  a few rhythms on the bathroom door; hoping to get a respond from the beady-eyed ghost.

None.

It must have been then that she realized how heavily those tears had blurred her visions, for she had not noticed the figure of a girl slumped beneath the rustic sink; lain so forlornly she thought she was the ghost herself.

Hung mid-air, her fingers looked for a trace of familiarity in the air; as if those tender things could convey what was happening, back into her mind. Her eyes widened in surprise when she caught on the little things: chocolate-brown tresses that flew past her sight during classes, the sounds that once foretold of ferocity and dauntlessness; all quashed into defeated sobs.

Her instincts propelled her to leave, knowing that this was a futile feat; she was never bound to make friends, much less comfort someone she was always trying to avoid. Much less in this state myself. Thoughts gyrated in her mind in split seconds, canvassing for a simple solution and finding none when her eyes suddenly met hers. Escape.

".. Sorry," she croaked softly before managing to take in the reality, turning on a pivot out of the door.

When are you going to continue playing this? Until when will your reality be cleared of false pretenses and superficiality?

Stopping herself with a deep sigh, Rena shut her instincts down in exasperation; turning her shoulders warily and stepping back into the bathroom.

"..You," Deshayes! How do I do this.. She's obviously not okay! "..Need help?" Yes, Rena, of course she does. Who doesn't these days?

Taking her sweater off, she stepped towards the girl and covered her with the soft fabric; warily still, gazing at her with unequaled surprise. 

What happened, Eris?

lost myself and i am nowhere to be found
yeah, i think that i might break
♥

[DAENERYS AVERY GREYBACK]

The concrete floor beneath the slumped form of a girl provided a chill that traveled through her body. It pushed passed the natural heat of her body that was mixed with the heavy amount of liquor in her system and created goosebumps along her legs and arms. However, Daenerys felt numb in a sense that nothing in this moment matter to her more than the emotional pain she was experiencing. Daenerys was far from the type to just break down but she felt like an old building that just couldn't hold its weight any longer. A force bigger than her couldn't allow her to remain the strong female she was. The only thing she was grateful for was that she was able to sneak away and find some private time to herself. Not many really ventured into this bathroom due to the annoyance in the form of Moaning Myrtle. A girl stuck in a sad state of wandering this bathroom in her ghostly form crying sensitive to just about everything. Tonight she seemed to be missing from the stalls because Daenerys, although truthfully aware, did not hear another sound but her own sobs. Consumed by her own thoughts Daenerys did not take notice to another girl who was seeking privacy in the same bathroom. Memories were flooding her mind that forced her to escape the surroundings she was in.

A disheveled man places his hands on a young teen's shoulders looking down on her as her brown eyes gazed up at him. "I'm proud of you, Daeny" He spoke, his voice raspy. "You are the one child I can depend on to carry my name." He continues. It wasn't common for Fenrir to become sentimental but Daenerys had cherished that moment because she felt validated by him. Now that was gone, her father was behind bars to never see her accomplish anything in life further because of her brother; his son. Her father being away was the one thing that was eating at her spirit the most. She was a daddy's girl and although she was close to her mother as well she did not share the same bond with her as she did Fenrir. He taught her how to handle the werewolf gene in her, without him Daenerys would have been lost. Fenrir being locked up in Azkaban was the root of her problem.

"You...need help?" Daenerys heard, almost in the distant, however it brought her back to the cold bathroom floor and the sound of the faucet still running. A sweater was placed on her shoulder that she automatically snuggled into once she felt the warmth of the fabric. "Thank you." She mumbled, not even realizing that someone was witnessing her at her weakest. Suddenly the thought came into her head and she quickly wiped her eyes and looked up to see who was being so kind to her. It was a fellow housemate who was named Renanthe. In the seven years they had attended Hogwarts together, the two rarely talked or got along. "Great. This'll be all over school now." Daenerys said getting some of the spunk back in her voice but it was only half way there. Daenerys just didn't want her image ruined. She pulled the sweater off her shoulders and held it out for Renanthe to take, she didn't want her help because she figured it would be the type of help someone offers and then uses it against them. Daenerys would be better off if no one helped her.


tagged: @renanthegaea
notes: Blah...I tried. I'm not in the same mind set I was when I originally wrote this post. haha. hate when that happens.