VANESSA MARY-ANNE THOMPSON

[Deleted]

Vanessa Mary-Anne Thompson

ORIGINAL:

AGE: twenty seven


FACE CLAIM: Jessica Stam


YEAR: Graduate


HOUSE: N/A


OCCUPATION: Beater/Captain for Appleby Arrows


BLOOD TYPE: Pureblood


WAND TYPE: 13 Veela hair, cedar


PETS: A black long haired cat named Licorice


ABILITIES: Metamorphous, Animal communication


- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

LIKES:

+ Chaos
+ Darkness
+ Dark Art
+ Cats
+ Boys
+ Partying
+ Apples
+ Money
+ Being pureblood
+ Torturing people
+ A pureblood world


DISLIKES:

- Close enclousure
- Mud blood
- Peoples
- Muggles


BIGGEST FEAR:

x Dying


PERSONALITY:

x Selfish
x Greedy
x Careless
x Nasty
x Bitter
x Stuck-up
x Cold
x Heartless

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MOTHER: Isabella Mary-Anne Elizabeth


FATHER: Alec Robinson Thompson


SIBLINGS: Brother:- Damien Ruslanka Thompson 


HISTORY:


Vanessa Mary-Anne Thompson was the first child to Alec Robinson Thompson and Isabella Mary-Anne Elizabeth. Vanessa's was raised in a family who believed by being pure-blood placed them on top of the chain. As her many childhood memories involved lectures and her family ranting on about how pure-blood were the best. Convinced, that this was the right answer. Vanessa soon began looking down at those who didn't have pure-blood background. Her family were cruel, cold and heartless. Threating muggles and mudblood, terribly. 

She was a spoilt girl and had everything on a silver platter. She always had to get her ways or no way at all. For example, her father had a huge obsession of flying and Qudditch. He took her to many Qudditch Tournaments. She soon was hooked on Qudditch. She decided to be smart one day and steal her father's broom (which was passed on by generations, from her grandfather to her father) and took off, whizzing through trees and mountains. Her father was proud of her and even got her a broomstick for herself. However, Vanessa was robbed of her title, 'The Golden Child' as her mother gave birth to her little brother, Damien Ruslanka Thompson. Yes, her family was Russian. Alec immigrated to England, many years ago, looking for work. Although, work wasn't the only thing he found as he met the love of his life and asked her to marry him after many dates later. Soon as her brother was bored, her family soon paid not attentions to her anymore. Vanessa was jealous of her brother, growing to hate him and everybody in the world.

At age 11, she received a letter saying she was accepted to Hogwart, and without hesistation. She attended; Anything to get away from her family. Despite her upbringing and hatred to her family, she still wanted to be in Slytherin and bullied those who weren't of pure-blood families or background. As Qudditch as her passions, she signed up for the Slytherin Qudditch Team as Beater. Winning many Hogwarts Cups for her team. Life was perfect. A year later, her brother was also accepted to Hogwarts. She swore to him that she would give him hell during his stay. But, on many occasions she managed to be his big sister. Saving him from bullies or taking the blame if Damian was up to no good. She didn't like it, but she did it anyway. 

After graduation, finishing her years in Hogwarts, Vanessa was now set to see what the real world had to offer and enjoy. She immediately pursued her dream to play Qudditch and signed up with the Appleby Arrows. The players like the way she played and hence giving her the role as Beater. She plays for Appleby Arrows 'til this very day and wins many tournaments. Her methods of playing are mean and harsh. She was never reluctant to hurt anyone with the bludger. This helped save her team mates from incoming players and gave them time to get to their destinations, giving them a chance to win the game. She won the British League and three years later she won the European cup after a close call. The players celebrated and went down to the pub to drink to their victory. The pub was overcrowded and smelt of beers and sweat. She had always had a close relationship with her captain, she was always able to confide in him about her family or doubts about the game and she would return the favour. One day, during the victorious celebrations her captain approached her. Telling her that he was soon retiring and wanted her to take over. He thought she was better suited to the role because she was never afraid to say what on her mind. 

Of course she accepted.  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

HEY MY NAME IS KAidkins, AND I ALSO PLAY Daniel Valentine && Kaiden Artiza I FOUND THE SITE THROUGH Puddifoot Harry Potter Topsite

TEMPLATE BY ELIZA @ SHADOWPLAY & RCR

[Deleted]

Okay paige. I fixed it

[Deleted]

pending

Hey Kaiden love, sorry for taking so long on this.
Well, you have a good base here, interesting dark character, however I have several issues with this application I would need you to edit for me.

You will need to fill out whether this character is canon or original love.

Under LIKES: So generally she likes pureblood- and dark art- related stuffs, however I don't understand this one term, what do you mean by "A pureblood word"? Or is there a typo at it?

There is a bit of conflicts between points which you've provided. So I figure that Vanessa is 27th, and her brother is in 6/7th grade (in Hogwarts we don't use the term grade by the way), it makes Vanessa at least 10 years older than her brother. Yet, if you would note the second paragraph:

As Qudditch was her passion, she signed up for the Slytherin Team as Beater. Winning many tournaments for her team. Life was perfect. A year later, her brother was also accepted to Hogwarts. She swore to him that she would give him hell during his stay.

If Vanessa is at least a 10 years older than Damien, there is no chance for them to be in Hogwarts together, let alone for the need of her to look after him. There is a need for some timeline readjustment here.

She immediately pursued her dream to play Qudditch and signed up with the Appleby Arrows. The players liked the way she played, hence giving her the role as beater and captain of the team.

Well, however good a beater is, there's very seldom that they gets the position of a captain almost immediately, she would have been playing for years and opportunity must arise, like say, the old Quidditch captain retire and appointed her as the next captain, though meanwhile she must have let the team see some startling results, like helping the team win matches, and shows dedication and passion to her work, as well as getting along with the player well. Right, as a team captain one needs to also be a team player who can get along with everyone, especially if she's to have the players who nominated her to be the captain. Otherwise, she can be of course stuck up to her ex-captain/ bribe her way up to the top, which won't make her a well-liked player in the team at all. I would want to see some logical explanations on her journey in Appleby Arrows.

So, if you're to say that she's passionate and worked hard to earned the captain title, I won't see her easily throwing everything away just because she felt bored with life. She's 27 years old, not a kid and should very well realize the consequences to her every action. And with that being said, if she has been locked up in Azkaban for two years for stealing, upon release she won't be a Quidditch player anymore, but possibly unemployed (unless you want to put her into a shop in Knockturn Alley) and a little not right in the mind, which you would need to add into her personality/ history of the application.

Any questions, feel free to PM and ask OK? And edits should made to the first post, no need to repost the application in reply. Give this a bump once you've done.

[Deleted]

I realize I have made a few errors. I'll shall edit it

[Deleted]

pending

Hey Kaiden. Well, she looks better now, however, you still have yet to fill in if she's Canon or Original.

As Qudditch as her passions, she signed up for the Slytherin Qudditch Team as Beater. Winning many tournaments for her team. Life was perfect.

Just to note that Hogwarts doesn't have Tournament, it is called Hogwarts Quidditch Cup in school.
you can read more about Quidditch HERE

The part where the mudblood came to them in revenge doesn't convince me, perhaps it would be better if you add in a back story for this one, what made that fella so pissed off that he would head over to the Thompson home and start attacking them? The ultimate why, seeing this is a crime - not to mention a suicide mission - it should have a good reason behind as a backup, what drove the poor man over the edge.

And then this part:

Luckily, her family knew someone from the ministry and let her off as self-defence.

I would think that even if she was being let off as self-defense, she isn't innocent, there would be some sort of punishment too, maybe social service (most likely)/ fine of a great sum of money...

With her help, they won the grand final and they all went to the pub and celebrated their victories.

Paige is being picky here, but what grand final? There are so many leagues around, English League? British and Irish Quidditch League? Eastern European Championship? European Cup? Perhaps she has helped the team win a lot of leagues/ cup/ matches, there is no grand final in Quidditch, not really, not unless you count World Cup - which is not the case here. You can refer above link for info on Quidditch, or Something about football, for Quidditch is based Football in many ways.

And Kaiden, can you help to remove the application (post) which you're not editing/ not in use? That would avoid confusion.
Give this a bump once you're done.

[Deleted]

lebumpe

[Deleted]

accepted

woots! *cheers* she's good to go now love! Thank you for being patient with us.

Be sure to make your claims my love. And have fun!