Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2013 12:50:40 GMT -5
jessenia e. tchaikovsky
CANON OR ORIGINAL: original
AGE: nineteen
FACE CLAIM: becca tobin
YEAR: n/a
HOUSE: former slytherin
OCCUPATION: actress and employee at st. mungo's tearoom and shop
BLOOD TYPE: halfblood (tells people she's pureblood)
WAND TYPE: 10 inches, dragon heartstring, vine
PETS: barn owl named truffles
ABILITIES: wandless magic and animagus (grey fox), both learned at hogwarts.
freestyle
SIX TRAITS
01. Judgemental --
"Don't judge a book by it's cover? I don't know how many times I have heard that from people who surround me. Well, let me tell you something, I can do what I please. I don't trust people and I don't care about other people's feelings unless you're someone I'm close to. I weed out the people that are not worth my time and trust me, my time is precious to me, so don't waste it. Yes, I'm a bit harsh. So what? If you can't take it, you're obviously not up for being a part of my life. But yes, I can be judgmental and I have a right to be with all the crazy people in this world. Never trust anyone but yourself. That's my motto and I live well by it."
02. Insecure --
"Everyone has their weaknesses. You know, I come across as this big horrible person, but really I just have my own issues to deal with. I mean, yes, I'm a bitch. I'm not afraid to admit to that, but I'm not as bad as people think I am, or better yet, what I allow people to see. Like I said, I just don't trust people and not only that, I want to be the best I can be. I crave perfection because I have to be perfect, or else I would feel as if I let down my father. I'm a Halfblood, but I'm perceived as a Pureblood because my father doesn't want our name in the dirt. If anyone were to find out, I'd be ruined. We'd be ruined. There's a lot on my shoulders because of that man, but I deal with it.
But it's not just him you see. I have a boyfriend. Well, more like I have a lover, so technically I'm single. He's a married man who I got caught up in before I even knew he was married. Once the bomb dropped, I was already too attached. And I'm too attached to leave even with his new found cruelness. All the insults hurt and make me feel small. But I don't show anyone that I am feeling this way. I'm a strong young woman and I can deal with this. I can live like this and be just fine. I know he loves me, deep down."
03. Loyal --
"To those who know me well and I actually care about, I am loyal to. I would do anything to keep them safe and to make sure they are happy. This includes my family, what friends I have, and the man I've been seeing. Once I get attached or feel trust for someone, I am as loyal as a dog. Your secrets are safe with me. You can come to me for a shoulder to cry on. Anything. I mean, look at what I have to deal with already. I have to keep up the appearance of my family. If that's not loyal, than I don't know what is. The same for the man that I have come to fall for, even though I shouldn't be with him. I'm still devoted to him. If you don't think I'm loyal, than I don't know what loyal is. But just so you know, don't expect this side unless you know for sure I consider you a friend because all the secrets you feel like sharing are not mine to keep. And I don't take friendship lightly."
04. Calm --
"I suppose with all I've told you so far, you'd think I'd have a short temper or something right? Well you're very wrong my dear. Yes, sometimes I spew out insults or comebacks on the spot and sometimes I just do it for fun, but it's rare that I lose my head in front of someone much less a crowd. No no dear. I appear calm and collected to the eye. I make you think it's all alright. That I have forgiven you for your indescretions and then when you least expect it, I find a way to get you back. Of course, it all depends on the severity of your crime against me or those I actually care about. Sometimes I'll let it go. But if it's something bad enough, you better watch your back and sleep with one eye open. I hope we have an understanding."
05. Blunt --
"Don't be surprised when I tell you like it is. Point blank. I guess you could say I'm a little too honest. Or a lot. Whatever, I could care less. Just seriously, don't be surprised. I say what's on my mind, even if it'll hurt someone's feelings. I have no filter. If I think you need to lose weight, I'll tell you you're fat. If I think you're unintelligent, which I honestly feel like there aren't many people around anymore who can hold an intellectual conversation, then I will tell you you're stupid and should probably go back to school. I'm cruel, I know. It's a flaw of mine, but I can't change who I am so if you don't like it then you don't have to associate yourself with me. See how easy that is?"
06. Spoiled --
"Yes, I'm spoiled. Ever since I was a little girl I have been. Not just by my parents, but by my grandparents as well. I mean look at me, I'm worth it. I've never wanted for anything because I've always gotten things. All I had to do was mention something and I received it. My life hasn't been hard when it comes to material things. The other half of my life is the only thing bringing me down. But I will survive. Jessenia Tchaikovsky always does."
FIVE SONGS
01. Forever and Almost Always by Kate Voegele --
And you'll be mine, forever and almost always. When I'm fine, just love me when you can and I will wait patiently and wake up everyday just hoping that you still care.
"As I mentioned before, I'm in a predicament I shouldn't be in. If any of my family found out, I'd be in a lot of trouble. It's just another thing that could be used to ruin my family's name. But I can't help it. This man, though married, has got me falling hard and I don't do that. But it's not right, and I know that. I know I deserve better, but I'm attached. I'm in too deep. I know deep down, he has to love me, right? No matter how he cruel he can be or the fact that he only calls on me when he feels like it?"
02. Lovely by Sara Haze --
Am I supposed to give up everything I am just to make you happy? I thought I was the one you always wanted me to be. It turns out, I'm just little old me.
"Sometimes I feel like I can't just be me. Have you ever felt that way? Sure, I am judgmental and untrusting and very, very blunt. But, I really am not as horrible as I pretend to be. I just have so many walls up because of who I had to become for my family and this man I'm with. Maybe one day I'll be lovely enough for him to leave his wife, or for me to be able to drop my walls enough to let people in. I don't know."
03. Human by Christina Perri --
But I'm only human and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human, and I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart. You build me up and then I fall apart, cause I'm only human.
"Like I was saying before, I feel like I have to be perfect for my family, especially my dad. My mom too, but he's the Pureblood. He's the one that has a name on the line. But I wouldn't do anything to hurt my mom either, which would happen if I did anything to my dad. Sometimes it's so hard to be perfect because no on is that way. There's so much stress to it, but I'm only human you know? Well, I'm a witch, but still. I'm sure you get the point. I'm still a girl who wants to be happy and I don't feel happy. It's all pretend and I feel like I'm starting to break."
04. Say Something by A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera --
And I, am feeling so small. It was over my head. I know nothing at all. And I, will stumble and fall. I'm just learning to love, just starting to crawl. Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would have followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you.
"Have you ever felt small? Like you were inferior to the people around you? Well that's how I feel all the time and I can't even express that emotion. Between the stress of keeping up the facade and listening to the insults and 'suggestions' of my lover, I feel like I will never be good enough. But know one will ever know that. To the outside world, everyone things I'm just peachy. They think I'm happy, minus the times I act cruel to other people, but that's a different story."
05. Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds --
Primadonna girl, yeah, all she ever wanted was the world. I can't help that I need it all, the primadonna life, the rise and fall. You say that I'm kind of difficult, but it's always someone else's fault. Got you wrapped around my finger, babe.
"As I told you before, I'm spoiled. I get what I want when I want it. I just call daddy, or mom, up and they provide me with what I tell them to get. I only wear the cutest clothes and shoes. It pays to be well off
and it pays to have parents that want to give their children the world. I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I don't have to worry about going into poverty. But maybe, just maybe, I want more than just the material things.... What am I saying? That was a joke."
FOUR MEMORIES
01. "My earliest memory would have to be when I was really little. My mom took care of my brothers and I because my father only came around every once and a while because he was with another woman. Wow, does that sound familiar. Anyway, I don't remember too much because I was only like three. But my first memory was the nights my mom put us to bed in our home. She seemed happier then. She was still happy, because she loved my father, but it was different. At night, as she tucked us all in, she would tell us wild stories that made us laugh and cry and sometimes just sigh with admiration. I loved my mother. Heck, even I was happy then. I miss those times."
02. "My next memory would be when we moved from that quaint house to my father's home. He decided it was time to introduce us to his other children because his wife had just died. I was four. When we moved in, there were four other girls. She was no longer the only girl and it was disappointing. She didn't like any of them and she didn't want to be part of the family. She wanted to go back to her old home and live with her mother, father or not. The worst part about it was the fact that she was told she had to pretend to be a pureblood even though she was only a halfblood. Little did I know that one detail would start a long list of ones that would make me the insecure little bitch I am today."
03. "My best memory was probably getting my letter to Hogwarts and then going to the school. I was sorted into Slytherin, which came as no surprise. Classes came easy for me and so did getting along with my housemates. But then as I grew more and more into my ego, my personality started to twist into what it was today. Heartbreaks and back stabs does that to a person, along with the pressure of being the best pureblooded daughter I could be. I could not be a disappointment. I quickly started to lose friends, leaving me with only a few loyal ones. I graduated with above average grades, but I didn't really have the desire to do anything with my magic education. Maybe later on, but I knew I wanted to be an actress, because it was something I had enjoyed for the longest time. That, and music. But no one knew about that. Throughout my years at Hogwarts I had found a passion for music and taught myself how to play the piano. I already knew how to sing. Later came writing songs. But yeah, that's my own secret. Now I'm an actress with a side job at St. Mungo's in the Tearoom and Shop."
04. "I met him after I graduated Hogwarts. I was eighteen, he was twenty-two. We ran into each other when he was visiting his grandmother in St. Mungo's. He stopped in the shop and we instantly clicked. He asked me out and I said yes. The dates grew in number and soon I was sleeping with him. I was starting to fall for the charmer. Then I found out about his wife. I saw him out with her one day. After confronting him about it, he told me the truth, but he said he might be leaving her soon. Anything to get me to stay around right? Either way, I was already too attached to just leave him, as I mentioned earlier. I was in love with him. Then things started to get worse. He knew he had me hooked and he knew I wouldn't leave, so he could start showing his true colors. At first it was just a slap, but then he would just beat me around whenever he was mad. I thought it was my fault. It was my fault. But I stayed."
THREE SECRETS
01. Music is her escape --
"Aside from acting, I have talents that I'd rather not share with the world. Music is my life. I sing, write songs, and play the piano. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it all, but again I've never shared it with anyone. Music is my escape and gives me an outing that I can't find in anything else. If I showed anyone, I would feel like they were intruding in on something that makes me feel safe. I don't want that safety net to disappear."
02. Is Bulimic --
"You remember how I told you I was insecure, mainly because of the man I've been seeing. Well he calls me names and makes me feel small. He makes me feel like I'm ugly and fat sometimes and I only know one way of make my weight problems better. Yes, I eat when I have to, but then I make myself throw it up. Sometimes I'll do it on an empty stomach. I just have to make sure I never get bigger than what I am. I need to stay pretty. I need to be loved and it's the only way."
03. Has Astraphobia --
"I'm usually not afraid of anything, but ever since I was a child, I've been afraid of thunder and lightning. I know it sounds completely childish, but I haven't been able to shake the fear. Whenever I know there's a storm coming, I blast music in my ears so I won't hear it. If it comes as a surprise, I'm in for a world of trouble. It's an irrational fear really, but I can't help it. When I get caught up and can't escape, it sends me into a panic attack. I shake, hyperventilate, cry, the whole shebang. It's not attractive and it's humiliating. No one can know."
TWO CAREERS
01. Actress --
"My main career and what I'd like to do for the rest of my life is acting. There's just something about being on a stage and having the audience react the way they do. It's like another escape, but one I can share with the world because it's not showing who I am. I get to escape by being someone else. It's a great feeling. Plus, it's fun."
02. St. Mungo's Tearoom and Shop --
"Not that I need the money, but I took up another job on the side for when I'm not doing anything with my acting career. It gives me extra money and it gives me something to do. It's not so bad seeing as people I know don't usually come where I work since it's in St. Mungo's. The only reason they'd see me was if they had a relative there or they were admitted. But it doesn't happen a lot."
ONE DREAM
"You want to know what my dream is? Well, let me tell you. If I'm being honest, I want to break free of my life I have now. I want to just be me and to be loved for me. I want to wake up and realize I need to leave the jerk I'm with and that I should wait for the one that deserves me. I want to fall in love and have a family and do what makes me happy. That's my dream. I just don't know if it'll ever come true."
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HEY MY NAME IS KAIT, AND I ALSO PLAY ANNABETH ELYSE BENNETT, ROSE MINERVA WEASLEY, AND EMMALINE GRAY SUMMERBY. I FOUND THE SITE THROUGH CAUTION 2.0.
TEMPLATE BY ELIZA @ SHADOWPLAY & RCR
