ROSEY -- feeling like i've missed you all this time

[CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE]

It was tough to get out of bed that morning. Had it not been for the summer sun that nearly burned his eyes, he would not have managed to open them. Caesar Montague knew that he might as well sleep in, given the day being sunday and examinations were over, but he pulled himself out of bed eventually. Having slept only for one hour, the Slytherin could not help shivering as staring at the reflection of himself in the mirror. Since that February day, he had tried his heart out to pretend that nothing had happened and moved on with his daily grind, getting to bed earlier than usual so as not to let his mind have a minute to start any flashbacks. All his time had been spent on schoolwork, with the excuse that he needed to graduate this year, and everyone, perhaps even Rosalie Harper, had seemed to be fooled into believing it, or so he had hoped. The Montague could not remember how many times he had told himself to look away, to make believe that he had not noticed her passing by whenever he saw his dearest childhood friend on the hallway. Only by that had he been able to find some peace of mind, after that one day of February. Now there was no examination to keep him busy. More and more spaces appeared on his timetable, which he had made an attempt to fill up. The feelings of guilt started to take control of him, especially at night, when he had time to let his gaze drift aimlessly around the room and accidentally land on a picture frame placed neatly on the bookshelf, only to catch sight of a familiar smile. And very tenderly, that smile entered his dreams and caused him to wake up at night, realizing that it was just a dream and she was not there.

Cold water was not very helpful in hiding dark circles under his eyes, but Caesar decided that he had to leave lest he should miss her. Putting on his favorite shirt, the one that had been given to him as a thank-you and sorry gift two years ago, the Slytherin made his way out of his dorm, past the ktichen and to the Hufflepuff common room.

With every step he took, Caesar could barely feel the constant of his heartbeat, just like the way he had when Rosey lay her head on his shoulder that day and wrapped his arm around her. It is not the kind of anxiety you have before you kiss a girl; in fact, it is the feeling of getting to close to something that has always been out of your reach, and you are unsure you can manage to take grip of it. And Caesar was even afraid to close his eyes for too long; as everytime he did, he saw her walk away – away from him; he saw her face, looking at him with tears almost betrayed her attempt and streamed down her cheeks. He listened to loud music more often for fear that he would be able to hear every single word of hers when it was too quiet. He smiled more often. The smile is undoubtedly a very magical thing. It helps you hide what cannot be hidden and it becomes your mask when needed. And he did not allow himself to think of what others' feelings when he talked anymore, so as not to find out how hurt she must have been after heartless words had slipped out of his mouth. “I was never really the same as you, right?” Her saying had cut him into pieces. No, Rosey was not the same, and neither was he. Had they been the same as the little kids of ten years ago, he would not have kissed her. And her lips would not have tasted so sweet. If only she had known how hard it had been to pull away. It would have lasted longer, if her insistence to break the marriage at the first place had not flowed back to his mind.

If only he had known his words would hurt that much.

'Caesar, Caesar...what is going on with you?' A sigh escaped his lips as the question was floating in the air. The only reason he could manage to come up with to explain the kiss was pure impulsiveness. But swore to God, he had never been calmer than he had back then. Then why? Perhaps everything he had needed was an answer to the asking whether or not they were just friends – the question which he had not thought of until lately. Was it him that she had not wanted to let go when she said she had not wanted their marriage broken? Then what, or who, had been on her mind when she expressed her wish to dismiss it? Or was it that she had only been playing with his feelings? But someone who has just played with others' feelings do not get hurt.

Leaning against the wall and watching people coming out of Hufflepuff common room, Caesar tried to keep his eyes open. He did not want to let her move past him like the way she had again. And then, a small frame showed up – the one he was expecting. Automatically, the boy made his way through the crowd to get to her. And the first thing he did once her was in his reach was grabbing her hand, keeping her from making another step further, as if he was scared that she would disappear. “Hey, Rosey!” Caesar said cheerfully with a bright smile on his lips like he had always done on seeing her. “Oh I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?” He uttered suddenly as realizing that his grip on her wrist was too tight.

TAG::  ROSALIE POSEY HARPER

NOTE:: hope it is okay! and he is wearing the shirt she gave him. xDD 

CREDIT:: text made by the amazing LOVE LIKE LISA?! @ caution 2.0

[ROSALIE POSEY HARPER]

Cause I want you
I want you back again

Rosalie hated crying. She had done so much crying when she was younger that the thought of it put her off extremely. She hated crying because, every time she did, she was reminded of how weak she was. She had cried when she had seen Kenneth. She’d cried so much, and to who? To Caesar. He had made her feel better – had comforted her when she had needed it. The thought had once brought a smile to her face. Now it just made her feel sick. She knew that some of her roommates worried about her. She knew Lorcan worried about her, and that was what distressed her the most. How was she supposed to tell her boyfriend what was wrong with her without telling him absolutely everything? Of course, she had long since convinced herself that she needed to tell him. She just needed to find the right moment. And, it never felt like the right moment because she was rarely ever left alone. She had taken to walking with Nina and just about any other Hufflepuff she could find. She hadn’t expected for the Montague to keep his promise, even after everything that he had done. But, she saw him all the time. It was like he was waiting for her. It was definitely on purpose, but she couldn’t bring herself to walk with him anywhere. Every time that she saw him, she got flash backs to that time that they spent in his room. Rosey remembered wrapping his arm around her and feeling comfortable – of feeling like she could do this. She wouldn’t mind being with him if that’s how it was going to be. And, she’d think of the way that he kissed her and how she had always wanted him to. For a little while, she’d be happy and pleased. She felt like she could sleep in her bed again without having to cast charms to silence the area around her bed so that no one would hear her crying. She’d think that way, and then she would remember everything that had happened afterwards. She’d remembered that, and then she couldn’t stop the tears from dashing onto her face.

Lately, she had slept curled up in a ball and hugging her pillow. She’d have to wake up earlier in the morning so that she could beat everyone to the showers and try to make it to where her eyes weren’t puffy. Luckily, she was a girl and that meat that it was perfectly acceptable for her to use makeup. She just had to make it look as natural as possible because everyone knew that Rosalie Harper rarely ever used much makeup. She hated not telling Scamander exactly what was wrong with her. All she had said was that it had had something to do with her family, and that he, probably, wouldn’t be seeing much of her over the break. Of course, she was going to make some time for him. She’d probably ask him to meet her in Diagon Alley so she wouldn’t have to be making her own wedding plans. That was, of course, assuming that he didn’t break up with her once she told him that she was engaged. Or, would be engaged as the engagement party wasn’t even until that summer. Hopefully, and she wasn’t too sure that it was going to happen, he wouldn’t do that. It was bad enough that Caesar had said all that stuff to her. She wasn’t sure what she would do if Lorcan followed in his suit. Oh, Merlin. The thought of it made her face grow pale and her hands begin to shake some. Rather than let herself get any more upset, she got dressed quickly. It probably wasn’t the sort of outfit her mother would have ever approved of, but it served her purpose. After all, the days were getting much nicer. And, even if she didn’t head outside, she was determined to wear whatever she wanted. Perhaps, seeing as it was Sunday and she no longer had school work to distract her, she could go off and find said boy. He wouldn’t know to go to the clearing, but it wouldn’t be too much work to head up to his common room and ask someone heading in there to tell him that she was outside. Rosey did, almost dreadfully, need someone to cheer her up, and she could think of no one better than the jokester Ravenclaw.

At least, that had been her plan. She had slid in with the group of fifth years that were headed to the library. They weren’t that much shorter than her, so she easily blended in with them. She had almost thought she was going to make it – that she was going to get out of the dungeons without anyone noticing that she was who she was. She had even dyed her hair back to brown. But, before they had even gotten so far, she felt a hand wrap around her wrist and pull her away from the group. She knew who it was before she ever turned around to face him, and she had to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. Rosalie hadn’t been prepared to meet him. She knew that he had been there, really. He had kept his stupid promise, and she had had to find ways of getting passed him without him noticing her. It had worked sometimes, hadn’t worked others. When it hadn’t, she’d been silent to everything he had asked and had resorted to summarizing notes in her head that she needed for schoolwork. But, alas, Rosey no longer had classes, and she had lost that opportune moment to come up with things. Facing him now, it was all she could do but turn on her heel and run away. She thought, perhaps, the only person who knew what was going on in her mind was “J”, and J had always told her to not apologize for anything. If she had to think about it, she was sure her new penpal would tell her to stick it to him. But, Caesar looked every bit as miserable as she did, probably worse. The guilt he tended to build up for himself…it almost made her want to forgive him on the spot. “Rosalie, Caesar.” She corrected him, none to gently. Maybe if that smile on his face wasn’t a bitter reminder of the one he had faked in his home, she might have. “Hurt physically?” She glanced down at her wrist in his hand and raised an eyebrow. As gently as she could, she pulled her wrist back to her and crossed her arms. “No, can’t say that.”

So I'm gonna bide my time
Bearin' my misery
Till you come to me

---

W O R D S: 1,119
T A G G E D: CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE
O U T F I T: here
N O T E S: she's all sorts of distraught. aww. we're so mean.

[CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE]

Caesar Montague had always been there for her. He had never failed to get to her side, even if she did not need him. It was very natural the way he cared about Rosey, like he was born to take care of her, to protect her and to keep her safe from all harms, even if she did not ask for. It had been him that had wiped away her tears and brought back the smile to her lovely face. There is a story about the guardian angels – the silent protectors that God has sent to Earth to look after human. Rosey had once had a book about them, which the six-year-old her had asked him to read for her in a summer morning when they lied next to each other on the carpet of green grass in the Harper's garden. Caesar remembered feeling the warmth brush against his neck and hearing the soft and steady breath while he had been on the tenth page of the book. The little girl had fallen asleep on his shoulder since like forever without his noticing. He had not managed to bring himself to wake her up, merely because he had wanted to look at the peace on her face a little longer. And the boy had slowly returned to his book, only to find a line that had been carved into his heart ever since. 'Guardian angels are not dead men, they who love without regrets and embrace even the greatest pain only to protect a smile are guardian angels'. Once in a blue moon, he had asked himself why all guardian angels in every painting seemed so happy? Who says they do not feel the grief and pain? In fact, they know it better than anyone in the world. There is nothing exciting about being unseen, unnoticed and ignored. Perhaps it is just that they are willing to pay the price to keep their loved one safe.

“Mother, can I be one of them?” The child asked his mother, pointing at the cover of his friend's book, which took the woman by surprise. “Who is it that you want to take care of?” She asked.

Caesar eyes landed on Rosey the moment he took grip of her wrist. It squeezed his heart a little to see her slightly swelling eyes. Apparently they had got better thanks to some good cares from their owner. The thought of her crying because of him, or what he had said, brought a frown to his face in a second. There had been a time when he had majestically stated to her that he would not let anyone who dared to make a tear of depression fall have a good life. Sarcastic, wasn't it? Who could have thought that jerk would be him some day. All the promises he had made became the thorns that had been causing his heart to bleed since he placed that kiss on her lips and let out such unforgivable words. For so many times, he had wanted to beg her pardon, and make it up to her. But he had not have enough courage to do that until today. He had made an attempt to keep his promises, though, by standing waiting for her everyday before and after her classes. Yet he had failed to bring himself towards her all the time. What had been on his mind three months ago when he told her that everything would be okay? Becaue nothing woul be okay again, at least okay would not have the same meaning anymore. Perhaps, “okay” to Rosey at this moment was not having to confront him everyday in the Great Hall, in the hallway, in the Quidditch Pitch or in her mind. Caesar had seen the look on the Hufflepuff girls when they walked past him. It had appeared that they had still been kept in the dark about their marriage. Still, he was pretty sure that they had been wondering why he had not even tried to get to her side when it had looked like that she had needed him. Turning away and pretending like nothing had happened. He was very good at that. That was why Caesar never wanted any serious relationship. He was afraid that someone would get hurt because of him and all he would do would be standing in distance, watching her bleeding.

A genuine smile grew on the boy's face as his eyes stared at his mother's. “Someone very important, mother. But answer my question!” He uttered with eagerness. “Be what you want to be, but do not waste your time on daydreams and fantasies, Caesar.” She said flatly. But it was enough for the questioner. Just like that, he ran away, leaving the woman with confusion on her face and a question hanging in the air, which she quickly ignored after that.

When his eyes caught hers, he could not help but feel as though he was falling off a cliff down a bottomless black hole. Emptiness filled her eyes, at least in the way she looked at him. The light had burnt low and the cheerfulness was nowhere to be found. The nonchalant and prideful look on her face made it hard for him to breathe. She was not his Rosey. Not the one that he had known all his life. Never had she seemed so..cold. But he managed to put on a smile afterward hence he would not look too pathetic to her. Sure he wanted to mend their relationship, but not by taking advantage of her pity. Furthermore, it was who he was – unbowed, unbent, unbroken – or so he thought. Loosening his grip, he showed no objection when she pulled her hand back. “If it makes you happy, Rosalie.” Said he with gentleness, hoping that she would not feel the bitterness in his saying. The distance he had kept all those weeks was nothing like this – the feeling of getting to close but still not being able to reach out for her. Words cut deeper than knives. He should have known. “I'm glad.” The Slythering struggled to keep the same calm tone as he responded to her mocking. A part of him wanted to walk away so bad, so that he would not have to suffer this cruelty, which apparently resulted from his own sarcasm and stupidity. Quietly taking in a deep breath, he took her hand again, more gently this time. “Come on, let's go. It's weekend so it may get very crowded at Hogsmead and all good spots in The Three Broomstick will probably have been occupied by the time we get there.” At one moment's notice, without waiting for her response, the Montague dragged the girl through the crowd. “Just so you know, resistance is futile. Don't make me pick you up and carry you all the way there in front of everyone, Rosalie. Like I said, I will not let you spend your weekend alone, even if you want to.”

The boy's eyes vaguely landed on one of the girls who were playing tea party together – the one who seemed to be left out. The sunlight danced gracefully on her blond curls. 'Don't worry. I will be your guardian angel.' The boy jumped off the tree he had been sitting on, made his way to her and took her hand. With a bright smile, he whispered in her ears in front of other girls. “How does a treasure hunt sound to you?” 

TAG::  ROSALIE POSEY HARPER

NOTE:: i might die! -dies in feels- btw, the italic passages are his flashbacks. xDD

CREDIT:: text made by the amazing LOVE LIKE LISA?! @ caution 2.0

[ROSALIE POSEY HARPER]

Cause I want you
I want you back again

When he looked at her like that, she wanted to forgive him. When he looked at her like that, she was reminded of every single moment they had spent together before three months ago. Before then, the thought of Caesar Eric Montague hurting her would have been laughable. He had been, to use a cliché, her knight. She wouldn’t consider herself a damsel. At least, she wouldn’t consider herself anything of that sort anymore. Once upon a time ago, it would have been easy to fall into the older pureblood and confess all her problems. She would have felt comfortable telling him all of her troubles because she knew he would have listened. Their entire friendship basically screamed with the concept. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her other friends. She did. She just hadn’t known how to tell them about anything. Her lovely house mates in Hufflepuff…rarely did any of them understand the complicated life of the purebloods. That’s why Rosalie loathed to explain it to them – because they wouldn’t understand. To them, being a child hadn’t been that rough. They went out, got dirty, and played whatever they wanted to. For her, going outside and roughhousing it with the boys hadn’t really been an option. Nor was having tea with the girls because all of them were crazy intimidating, even as children. Rosey often wondered if they knew the effect they had on her. How frightened she was to sit down on their neat, tidy, stainless quilt and pretend to have tea with them all while staring at them underneath her lashes. She never joined in their conversations, even on the rare occasions that they would try to draw her in. So when Caesar had taken her hand and whispered in her ear, she had been beyond delighted to finally have made a friend. All she had been expecting was someone who would help her get through all the pureblood gatherings so she wouldn’t have to sit with Edward or her mother and the younger siblings. She hadn’t been expecting to gather a best friend. She hadn’t been expecting the pictures and the letters; the days where ‘play dates’ were set up just for the two of them. She had never expected anything of the sort, but she had loved that it had turned out the way that it had. There hadn’t been a single thing that she had regretted about their relationship up until three months ago. True, part of her wished that she had never developed a crush on him, but there had been worst boys for her to like. Rosey could think of several, and Kenneth was at the very top of that list.

That smug bastard – she was happy to never see him again. She made sure to push everything about him away from her. On the other hand, there were boys out there that hadn’t made her cry. Caesar had belonged to that category until recently. Yet it was different. Half the time, Rosalie couldn’t tell if she was crying because she was mourning the loss of their friendship, if she was grieving for the relationship that the two of them would never really have, or if she was simply hurt by his comments. They had certainly left a mark on her. In the past, she would have looked over at the Slytherin table during meal times to make sure that he was okay. She would have looked for him in the halls during passing periods where she knew that the two of them would pass by one another. She would have made sure to seek him out simply to say hi, or try to anyway as their schedules were normally busy and taking them in opposite directions. But, the sixth year Hufflepuff could barely bring herself to look at him these days. It felt awful. It did; like there was this void in the center of her core that she wasn’t able to fill. Caesar Montague had been her best friend for longer than she could recall, but it hadn’t escaped her noticed that they were only close to a degree while they were in school. She had never given it much attention, before, seeing as they were in different houses and years. But, since their falling out, Rosey couldn’t help but worry. She knew that a lot of the scenarios she thought about were mostly in her head. She knew that But, she couldn’t help it when her thoughts gave in to darker aspects. When had she not noticed that she wasn’t the person he would go to when he had a problem? If she had to name the person whose opinion he respected highly, she didn’t have to look further than Scorpius Malfoy. Only, she had only ever had to turn to him. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad thing that they had had this big falling out. It needed to happen eventually, Rosalie resolved. Their friendship had always been too good, and she needed to learn that relying on only one person wasn’t healthy. In that aspect, she needed to thank him for making her cry; for making her entire frame seem pale and tired and exhausted. Except, she knew how Caesar’s mind worked. If she thanked him for it, he probably would make himself feel worse about it. And, if Rosey was hardly sleeping, she didn’t want to think about how exhausted and tired he was.

She wanted to run away, honestly. She wanted to run away and sprint up the stairs and through random hallways to see if she could get away from him. Just, Rosey knew how fast she was; hardly any at all. And, she knew how fast Caesar was; enough to catch up to her before she even made it out of the dungeons. Running wasn’t really an option she was going to be able to consider, and so neither was seeking out Lorcan and making herself feel better by spending the day with him. The look that the older Slytherin had in his eyes was haunting. She regretted the way she had said everything. She hated the resolve to be angry that was laced in every one of her words. She understood where J was coming from when she told her to apologize less, but that didn’t erase seventeen years of habit. She wanted to run away from him, yes, but there was also the small part of her that wanted to forgive him and hug him. “Not happy, no, but satisfied enough I suppose.” Rosey shivered at the sullenness in his voice. He was being so gentle with her, too, despite the fact that she didn’t deserve it. It made her want to hate him all the more. It made her want to forgive him, too. Forgive him because, bless Caesar, she had overreacted three months ago. She should have understood what he had meant – should have realized what consequences of her actions beforehand, but she hadn’t and here they were. When he took her hand again, she almost cracked. She could feel the anger inside of herself fracture just a little. She almost squeezed his hand to let him know how sorry she was, but she couldn’t. Luckily for her, he seemed to have a location in mind when dragging her away. “I don’t – I wouldn’t have been alone, Caesar.” She had tried to sound indignant, but it had come out a little airy, almost as if she would have giggled had she not caught herself in time. She coughed and cleared her throat, trying to make it seem like that hadn’t been the case. “If I had wanted to spend my weekend alone, all I would have had to have done was stay inside my dorm.” Her mouth twitched a little angrily. Not at him, more at herself for continuing to snap at him when it was the last thing she wanted. However, Rosey had to remind herself that it was not alright for her to let him pull her along like this – nor would it be okay or proper for him to pick her up and carry her! – when people around them might get the wrong idea. “But, uhm, Hosmeade? You’re actually taking me to Hogsmeade?”

So I'm gonna bide my time
Bearin' my misery
Till you come to me

---

W O R D S: 1,377
T A G G E D: CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE
O U T F I T: here
N O T E S: she's in shock!

[CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE]

Nothing hurt like the sarcasm in her voice. Perhaps for so long he had never been able to see the inner strength underneath that girl. It was likely that he had overlooked how strong one could be when he or she was pushed to the breaking point. He had told her to be strong, hence he should feel proud of her. Caesar Montague had lived with the motto of never regretting anything in his life. But right here right now, for the first time, he wished he could turn back time, and withdraw what had been spoke, undo everything and make it right again. He had believed that there was nothing he could not do. Nonetheless, no matter how hard he tried, he could not manage to get a decent apology out of his mouth. If only it had been as easy to heal as it was to hurt. Seeing and talking to Rosalie Harper had once been the easiest thing for Caesar. She had offered him comforts when things got tough. It had felt so much less insuffocating when she was near him, like she had been his one and only escape in this mess called 'life'. For forever, she had been his closest friend, one of the few people he truly treasured in the world. There had not been a thing that he had been afraid to tell her. Much to his dismay, it did not feel the same anymore, after the kiss, his words and her walking away. Half of him wanted to let her go but the other half wanted to keep her by his side forever. He did not want to let her go or he just did not know what he wanted?

Caesar captured some stares from the corner of his eyes. Some people walked unnaturally slowly when they past him and Rosey, so as to grasp the latest updates, he assumed. He wondered whether they felt the tension between him and her or not. Their engagement as well as the news of their marriage was still kept secret as the adults wanted to make sure that there would be an exciting surprise for everyone in the upcoming summer. Chances were that the news would not take some people by surprise, as, after all, the Harper daughter and the Montague son being seen together was not something too unfamiliar to those who knew them. The two of them were, or had been, even closer than boyfriend and girlfriend in some respects, which had been the excuse for a lot of questions and asking. However, after many no's and we-are-just-friends's from them, the gossip had ultimately decided to leave them alone. The folk's attention seemed to have been drawn to his best mate Scorpius and the of the Weasleys. The name Malfoy and Weasley stand next to each other. Perhaps everyone enjoys dramatic love stories, in which the leading couple have to go through many ups and downs to get to be together; occasionally, “being together” means death. Even so, Scorpius never appeared to have any intention of backing off, regardless of the consequences he probably would have to face once the rumours came to Lucius' ears, as if nothing else mattered to him, except Rose Weasley. Caesar sometimes asked himself where the blond got his courage. And where would he and Rosey go in their own story? At the moment, he could hardly see any happy endings awaiting at the end of the road. In fact, Caesar saw no endings.

Satisfied? The Slytherin frowned slightly on Rosey's saying. So this, what they had become, made her satisfied? Then again, who could blame her. Not happy but satisfied. Chances were that he had felt the same when he had told her such hurtful words. It would not be complicated at all if she was feeling like she had won a battle, which she must not have wanted to get involved in, like nothing could hold her back, like her suffering had partly been paid back. Apprently, there was no need to worry about Rosey anymore, she had grown from all the damages and heartbreaks, had known how to shelter herself from getting hurt or being devastated because of getting hurt. In all likelihood, it should be his turn now to get used to the idea of her not needing his arms any longer. Suppose she chose to accept his apology, what would happen next? Could they ever be the same again? Would thinking of him bring a smile to her face like it had, or would it only bring tears to her eyes and regrets to her soul? Would she make up random excuses just to see him late at night? Would she let him pull her into his arms if her world fell apart? Or would they simply exchange some polite and awkward greetings and then walk past each other like strangers? No, don't answer, because he does not want to know. “I hope satisfaction is something good.” Said he, with pure sincerity.

Caesar was taken aback by his own action. It was mostly and instinct, or a habit for him to take her hand in his and lead the way. And a spark of hope arose inside his chest once he realized that she did not try to pull her hand back, though her sayings proved to him that what she felt was indeed not pleasure. Had Katherine been there to witness that scene, the possibility of his being given an endless lecture on properness would have been beyond question. Back on that February day, after the two youngsters had got downstairs and joined the others in dinner as though nothing had ever happened, Katherine had secretly dragged her son to the kitchen, only to tell him to clean whatever that had looked like lipstick on his lips lest he should embarrass himself in front of everyone. He still remembered clearly the way blood had rushed to his cheeks on hearing it. Nothing could escape the woman's notice (she must have made a wild guess at what had happened earlier that day, given the way she had tactfully stared at Rosey during the dinner). There had been one time when he decided to ask her why she kept imposing everything she had wanted on him; and she had answered flatly that she did not have another son to feel proud of. Caesar had learned when to keep his mouth shut ever since. Unlike Scorpius, who tended to lead a free life and do what he wanted when he wanted, in spite of what they said about purebloods and appropriation, Caesar's life was tight to courtesy and decency. Rebellion and wildness were not acceptable. That was simply the way he had been brought up; though it and his action did not seem to match. He tried, and failed, to ignore the urge to go up against everything he had thought to be right and good. “Much to my regrets, I have to inform you that whoever is expecting you today is bound to face disappointment, because you are the only thing that matters to me right now.” He announced with determination.

He did not want her to think that he was trying to take control of her personal life. He would apologize later. Now it was his chance and he knew he would not forgive him if he let it pass by that easily. What she said brought a question to his mind, nevertheless. Rosey had other friends from house Hufflepuff, that he knew. But to his notice, there were no familiar faces near her the moment he dragged her away. Caesar continued speaking, making an attempt to distract himself from fearing that she was going to meet a boy, whom he might or might know. “You are drawing attention, Rosalie. Much as I enjoy the stares, I assume none of us would want people who are looking at us either to think that I am trying to kidnap you or to take our relationship in a wrong way.” A gloating smile grew on his face. Passing many classrooms, passages and faces, not a second went by that Caesar loosened his grip on her hand. As soon as they got to the big front gate of the castle, he slowed down, and eventually stopped then turned around to let his eyes meet hers, he said in response to her asking almost instantly without a second thought. “Well, unless we can find The Three Broomstick elsewhere, then yes, I am taking you to Hogsmead.” Slowly, he let go of her hand. Standing in silence, the Slytherin hardly took his eyes off the girl as he waited for her reaction. He was giving her a chance, to run away from him. If getting away from him could make her happy, he would not mind being the one who came home with disappointment. The sunbeam danced on Rosey's brown hair. A gust of wind blew by and played with her curls. Instinctively, the Montague moved closer with one of his hands lifted higher. But the boy suddenly lowered it the moment his fingers were only a few inches away from her. It had once been his habit – to move the strains of hair from her pretty face whenever a wind blew by. “Could you...spare some time for me?” He asked, almost begging.

TAG::  ROSALIE POSEY HARPER

NOTE:: -pets rosey- he does not deserve forgiveness that easily, rosey!

CREDIT:: text made by the amazing LOVE LIKE LISA?! @ caution 2.0

[ROSALIE POSEY HARPER]

Cause I want you
I want you back again

Was it something good? Normally, it would have been. Normally satisfaction was what one really strived for. Only, it hadn’t felt like that recently to Rosalie. She didn’t want to be satisfied. She wanted to be happy. Everyone wanted to be happy. It was their goal; it was what they lived their lives wanting to get. She refused to have it any other way. She scorned the people who did. Honestly, biting down on to her lip, that was what she wanted to tell him. That she was not satisfied. That she was not happy. That she only really had glimpses into what happiness actually was within those past few months, and that had been when Lorcan had been around her. It might have made Caesar felt bad. It might have added yet another problem with this mini-fight between them, but she wanted to tell him. She wanted to say that the moments, the only moments, she hadn’t felt like crying or sobbing was when he was around her. He made her laugh and smile and forget that Caesar Montague had ever broken her heart. He had taught her that it was okay to not be okay. Even if she didn’t really abide by those rules and follow them, it was nice to know that they were there and she didn’t have to feel like she had a pillow smothered over her face. Honestly, walking around with Caesar like this…if she closed her eyes and pretended that everything that had happened between them hadn’t really happened, then it almost felt like the weight on her chest was lifted. She almost felt like normal. She almost went back to believing that there was more to the world than simply being ‘satisfied.’

Only, Rosalie Harper had had to open her eyes again. And, when she did, it felt like the weight had more than doubled upon her. She tried to ignore the looks of some of the curious students were sending their way. It had been months since the two of them had been in such a close proximity, after all. She had done her damn hardest to avoid seeing him. She knew that the moment her eyes fell on his frame, her resolve would have weakened. And, it was exactly what had happened, too. She cursed herself for not having Edward’s temperament. She cursed herself for not being as confident in herself as J would have been. If she had had any gall, she might have cornered her little brother somewhere and told him everything. It was silly and odd to think that the older sister would require the help of her younger brother, but Edward had never acted his own age. However, there were only a small amount of people that the younger Slytherin actually respected. He cared very little for idiotic people – it was why she had convinced herself not to go and talk to him to begin with. He would have seen her problem as petty and dismissed it. Rosey needed someone she’d be able to confide in. Once upon a time, she wouldn’t have hesitated because that person would have been Caesar. Only, when the problem was Caesar, she wasn’t sure who she could have turned to. Instead, she tried to focus on what he was telling her. When he spoke like that, it was a little easier to be mad at him. It was a little easier to focus on that anger and direct it at him – at herself. She had gathered that she probably wasn’t going to meet with Lorcan any time soon, but she would find a way to catch up to him later. Even if all she could do was send a note on Sweetie to him, she only hoped that he didn’t mind sneaking out after curfew. Really, who was she kidding? Her boyfriend had a knack for getting himself in trouble. She had no doubt in her mind that Lorcan would be up for sneaking out so long as it meant spending some time for her. While troublesome since he lived in the towers and she only lived in the dungeons, she hoped they’d be fine. “I had gathered that much by myself.” Rosey bit down on her lip and silently sent up a tiny prayer that he’d understand. It would have been a surprise had she shown up there without Caesar interfering, but they had plans for later that afternoon. “We always have to reschedule. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Caesar had to be lying. He had to be. She had to convince herself that he was lying to here. She was sure; pretty sure, that there were other things out there that mattered to him. She couldn’t have mattered all that much to him when he had shattered her heart in a million pieces. Granted, Rosalie was no better than he was. She wasn’t blind to the looks that he was giving her now and a then when she was cold and cruel. But, she wanted him to know how much she had suffered without her best friend there to let her know that everything was going to be okay. He had to have been lying when he said that she was the only thing that mattered to him. She didn’t believe him. She couldn’t believe him. If she did…If Rosey let herself believe him, then it wouldn’t be too difficult to squeeze his hand in response to him leading her around. It was very much like when they were children, she realized. They had behaved almost exactly like this, minus the fighting. He would take her hand and lead her around – be the voice for the two of them while they were around other people. “You are kidnapping me.” She pointed out, gesturing back and pointing to the towers. “I was headed in that direction.” She was headed towards guaranteed happiness. Not that Caesar didn’t usually cause her happiness, but she couldn’t help herself from retorting so coldly; so unlike herself. “Besides, it’s not like there is much of a relationship.” Almost as soon as the words had left her mouth, she regretted them. She felt her hand tighten against his in an almost apology before she remembered that this wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t parked himself outside of the Hufflepuff common room. And, then, that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t questioned her. That was completely disregarding the kiss, too. She didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t, so she forced herself not to. Instead, she focused on what was going on around her. They had stopped – he had let go of her hand. Why was he always letting go of her, she wondered? It had to be something about her. Otherwise, he wouldn’t keep doing it. Gritting her teeth, Rosey let her eyes narrow a smidgeon. “You! You didn’t ask me! You didn’t tell me. Caesar, we haven’t spoken for months.” She blinked quickly to keep the tears from appearing. “I thought you hated me! I…I thought I hated you.”

She turned away and looked back up at the towers. The last time they had met in secret – actual secret, in their own little clearing – Rosey had told him he had made her happy. Lorcan confessed that she had made him happy, too. When she turned back to Caesar, she didn’t see happy. She saw miserable. She saw withdrawn. She saw all the things she had caused. And, she was sure that he had seen the same things within her, too. How could they keep putting themselves through that? She almost told him so, but the wind blew her hair to her face. She almost lifted her own had to pull it back, but stopped abruptly when Caesar raised his own hand. For a moment, Rosalie was silent. She hardly dared to breathe. Was he going to do it? But, he didn’t, and she let out a gasp of breath that she wasn’t even aware she had been holding. “Oh, Caesar.” She sighed, bottom lip trembling. This time, she couldn’t keep the tears from her eyes. She kept her hands firmly to her side, refusing to branch out and hug him. “Don’t beg. Never feel like you have to beg with me. I…can. I can. I want to.” Then, almost as if she had been stricken by her own word choice, Rosey glanced down at the ground almost defeated. “That is, if you really want to.”

So I'm gonna bide my time
Bearin' my misery
Till you come to me

---

W O R D S: 1,414
T A G G E D: CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE
O U T F I T: here
N O T E S: stop it you two! D:

[CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE]

“We always have to reschedule. It's not that big of a deal.” Caesar kept his mouth shut and his feet moving forward, as if none of her sayings had taken him by surprise, lest he should say anything he should not say again. It took him a great deal of efforts to convince himself that he was not the only living individual that she knew on the planet, and that it was good to see her had found someone to make her feel better when he was not, or could not be, around anymore. Still, an inexplicable irriation cropped up inside his chest, peirced his heart unceremoniously. But it did not hurt anymore, because it was used to getting hurt now. “Splendid. I'm glad to see you can make time for both of us.” He said in false delight. Always have to reschedule? How long had she known that person? Long enough for an “always” in her saying? Caesar held back his own curiosity and did anything in his capability to ignore it. His grip on her hand tightened a little as a way to remind himself that she was just behind him, she was very close and she would not go anywhere.

Caesar just hated talking about his feelings to others, even Rosey. Feelings make people seem weak and vulnerable. Isn't every pain caused by feelings? But there he had made a confession, telling her that she was the only thing that mattered to him. Rosey was, and had always been, the only thing that mattered to him ever since February. They had avoided each other as much as they could, still he had not been able to look any other way whenever she past him by. You see her, but you never get to touch and never get to keep because you are afraid that your touch would sting her and you keeping would suffocate her. And there is nothing you can do but watch the distance between you and her grow with the passage of time. Sometimes he wondered if what had happened was actually a good thing, because it had given her a chance to see how much she did not need him by her side, how strong she was and that he was not the only one for her to rely on. And it had also given him a chance to see the contrary in his case. The Montague hated himself everyday, for having been so blinded to see how much she meant to him. They could have been good, with all the future plans they had made while lying next to each other in his room the other day. All the beautiful visions of their future had been shattered into pieces, by his own hands. Perhaps now she would not have to thin twice before telling that she wanted the marriage broken. Or so he thought. He had finally helped her make up her mind with his stupidity and impulsiveness. Thing should be easier now because she would not have to feel bad if the marriage was unsuccessful. None of them would have to make a choice whether to stay or to leave. No one would be there to seperate them, no one – but themselves.

“Kidnapping in public does not count. Furthermore, I think I spoke loud enough for the whole dungeon to know where we are going.” He said nonchalantly after her accusing. Then she mentioned another direction, which led to the towers, Caesar made it looked like he did not bother to care, though he could see the towers from the corner of his eyes. “It is not like you are not going to see whoever that is again, Rosalie.” He said in response to her with an attempt to hide the sarcasm in his voice. He could tell, without looking at her, that she was angry. The frustration that she expressed reminded him of the moment she had pulled him out of the room after the announcement of their engagement. It was not much of a difference between the two times. But if he had stepped back and agreed to do what he could to break the marriage then, he would not back off now just because he was displeasing her. Normally, he would put her happiness above his own, and let every choice be hers while he just talked himself into believing that it was good and right because it made her happy. He had lived like that all this life, and he did not regret that he had. However, this time he would do it differently, without regrets. Whatever the resulted might turn out, he would not regret, because at least he did not give up on her too quickly, because at least he tried to make it right. “I would have asked if you had given me a chance!” Caesar widened his eyes at the realization that he had spoken louder than he should have. More eyes were on the two of them. But hardly did he notice as all of his attention was drawn to his own upset. “You never looked at me, although I never failed to be in your sight! You think I slept well with your ignoring me? And yes, I hated, not you but myself. Had I hated you, I would not have stood there, outside that damn door of your common room only only to see you walk past me everytime.” Something got into his eyes as words slipped out of his mouth, but he managed to keep them from getting watery. Never in his life had he been so passionate. Every cell of his body was domiated such powerful emotions which he had not known before. After all, hate was a strong word. So it was that easy for her to hate him? It was that easy for her to forget how much she meant to him?

The emptiness in his soul when he let go of her was inexpressible. He could have kept going, he knew. But he wanted to hurt her no more, physically or mentally. So there he gave her a choice. He did not even dare to touch her face for fear that she would step away to dodge his hand, his care and his sincerity, which should be so painful to watch. A part of him was screaming out that this cruelty was utterly unbearable; still he did nothing but look at her in silence. Never get to touch, never get to keep, because he loved her too much, enough to take all the pain if that was the price for her smile. He had never begged with anyone for anything, but Rosalie Harper was not just “anyone”. Then, suddenly, she burst into tears. Teardrops rolled down her cheeks and his heart sank. For the first time in his life, Caesar did not know what to do. Had they been the same, he would have pulled her close to him, kept her head against his chest and his arms around her, to let her know that he was right there for her and no one could hurt her. He stood still, cursing himself quietly as his arms felt so useless. He could not speak words of comfort because they would only hurt her more. He wanted to turn away in order not to see her tears, lest he should do anything he should not. What had he done to both of them? “Rosalie, I...” The Slytherin finally found his words. “I know I do not have the right to ask, or beg with you for anything, let alone forgiveness. But please, do me a favour.” Taking in a breath, he continued. “Don't ever cry because of me. I do not deserve it. Hate me if you must. Curse my name if it makes you feel better.” How he wished he could take a step closer to wipe those tears from her pretty face. For what use when he was the reason for them? “I suppose I know what I want know.” He smiled tenderly at her before turned to the direction which led to Hogsmead. “Come, it's on me this time.” From streetmarkets to high-class restaurant. Sixty, seventy or eighty. Anywhere, anytime she wanted. His promises, he had made the ones he would keep. With his hand in his pockets, he waited for her to walk up to him. 

TAG::  ROSALIE POSEY HARPER

NOTE:: how am i supposed to live with these feels!!!! -sobs then dies- 

CREDIT:: text made by the amazing LOVE LIKE LISA?! @ caution 2.0

[ROSALIE POSEY HARPER]

Cause I want you
I want you back again

“I didn’t do a very good job of it at first, actually.” She confessed. As she wasn’t really looking at him, it wasn’t all that hard to ignore the false tone in his voice. So long as she didn’t have to see the expression he made when he did. Even if a lot of people considered the older Slytherin closed off, he had never been so to Rosey. Sure, there were occasions where it was questionable. But, she knew the fake looks, the fake tones. She knew where to look for the miserable soul that was underneath that matched her own. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him everything – how she loved him, even if he had destroyed her. How she forgave him, even when she didn’t really want to. She wanted to tell him about Lorcan. She wanted to tell him about missing him even if it proved that she didn’t need him. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. And, she didn’t know if it was because, subconsciously, she was still upset with him, or if it was because she couldn’t bring herself to break him any more than she already had. “I still don’t. After all, I didn’t get to tell them that I was going to be with you.” She couldn’t say his name. She couldn’t. She couldn’t ruin the one thing that hadn’t let her spiral into some sort of depression. Rosalie Posey Harper did not actually need Caesar Eric Montague. She could function alright without him. She did not dissolve into pieces when he wasn’t around. Her schedule wasn’t completely interrupted when she didn’t see him. But, Rosey needed Caesar in the same way that people needed air to breathe. The past couple of months without him had been difficult, but she had latched onto the hurt to get through it. She had to convince herself that that was what it was going to be like without him. She had let herself get used to the idea that, next year if he’d allowed it, she’d be able to walk down the halls with Lorcan’s hand wrapped around her own. She wouldn’t have to meet him in the clearing and keep everything a secret. She wouldn’t care if people called her a whore or a slut because, well, she would be happy, and she wouldn’t have to see Caesar’s tormented face as a result of her actions. But, she lied to herself. She was very aware of the fact that she was lying to herself. And, regardless of what Lorcan said about her being a great liar, she had to disagree with him. She was horrible. That was why she still cried at night. That was why she had had to use makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes. That was why she looked even smaller than her frame let on. Oh, Rosey ate. She knew she had to or people would really get worried, but the lack of sleep wasn’t really helping her maintain the weight. Her mother was bound to be happy, she supposed, because she would actually fit in some of the wedding dresses that she would make her try on. In fact, she wouldn’t put it past her to make sure to pick one that needed to be altered so that it could fit her.

“Kidnapping is kidnapping, no matter where it is.” She said matter-of-fact. “The entire castle could know where we were going, but it would still be kidnapping. And, we may see each other later, but I doubt I’ll be in the mood to keep up the plans we had.” Because, she had a sinking suspicion that she would be left emotionally distraught after this meeting. If things continued the way they had been, Rosalie assumed that that was a safe enough bet to make. “I never looked at you!?” Her mouth dropped, and she found herself uncaring to the fact that people were staring at her. If there was one thing she had learned from dating Lorcan Scamander, it was to not care what people thought of her. If it drew attention to her, yes, she would be uncomfortable. Yes, she would have liked to get out of that situation. Yes, she wouldn’t have minded finding a nice hole to crawl into and call home, but she wasn’t about to make herself quiet. No, he needed to get rid of that haunted look in his eye, and Rosey needed to let off steam before she exploded even worse. Better they do it here where they were kind of out of the way than in the middle of Hogsmeade. They needed to get this out in the open. They needed to talk about it. Merlin, who was she kidding? It was going to escalate, but she didn’t know to what degree. Because, his words? They made her want to fight back. “I never looked at you? Are you daft, Caesar!? I am always watching you. I’ve been watching you since we were little! I see you all the time and I’m constantly – constantly! – aware of your presence.” She almost choked on her own words, trying not to slur them between her tears. It hadn’t escaped her that she had started shaking. She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to stop, but she couldn’t quit speaking. “I want to.” She confessed, staring down at the floor because she could not look at him while she was in this state. All she wanted to do was cry into his shoulder and have him comfort her. All she wanted was for time to turn back a year. Yes, she would have been heartbroken over Kenneth, but the relationship between her and Caesar would have been fine. “I want to hate you so badly. I’ve tried so hard to hate you – to make my heart steel for when you break off the marriage.” Her tone was far more bitter than she had intended it to be. She wasn’t as happy as she had planned herself to be. Even if he did break up the marriage, chances were that things would never be the same. All the promises that he had made her would have been in vain.

“But, I can’t.” Her voice croaked. Her bottom lip trembled almost out of control. She couldn’t. As angry as his words made her sometimes, she couldn’t bring herself to hate him. She had been alone, so alone, for too many years. He had been her only comfort – her sanctuary. She couldn’t hate him. He could hit her, scream at her, curse her, and she would forgive him after a time. Oh, Rosey would be upset. She would scream back just as fiercely, but she had the suspicion that he would forgive her just as soon as she would forgive him. She knew he would because Caesar had always been a gentle soul. Even if he hid it behind his old man persona, he was a darling and a sweetheart…even if it didn’t always show. “Where were you after that weekend?” She gulped to swallow the lump in her throat. Hogsmeade? Screw Hogsmeade; as happy as she was that he was taking her there, they had other things to settle. “You didn’t stop me. You didn’t come after me and make me listen to you. You didn’t corner me.” It was easy to dish out the blame, she realized. It was easy to look at him and accuse him of everything. “I didn’t let you. I couldn’t look at you. I still find it hard to look at you.” But Rosalie forced herself to do it anyway. She wiped the tears from her eyes furiously. Not angry at him, but at herself for being unable to keep her cool. Damn the Slytherin girls that knew the perfectly sculpted mask. “I love you.” She said suddenly, reaching forward and entangling her hand in his shirt. She stepped closer to him. She breathed in his scent, and it was almost like the world was normal. Almost, but it wasn’t. “I love you. I do. I love you. I love you so much it physically hurts me to see you like this. I tried so hard to hate you because you don’t deserve someone like me. I’m awful. I tried so hard, but I can’t. I can’t, Caesar. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Even when you cast me aside, I will. I swear it, I will.” Rosey pulled at his shirt – the shirt she had given him. Merlin, why? Why did he do this to her? – so he could be at her level. Once he was, she cupped his face with her hands. Very quickly, almost as if she feared that he would pull away from her and leave her, she placed a string of butterfly kisses on his skin. Each one sent a shiver down her spine. She placed two on his lips before recoiling as if she had been slapped. What was she doing? She couldn’t do this to them, but…but it had felt so right. “Not being with you – not having anything to do with you. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I want to cry all the time. I can’t do this. I can’t hate you. I can’t stand not to be around you. Don’t – please don’t do that, Caesar. Don’t make me…I can’t.”

So I'm gonna bide my time
Bearin' my misery
Till you come to me

---

W O R D S: 1,573
T A G G E D: CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE
O U T F I T: here
N O T E S: literally, I cried. I like, ah. I can't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Anise, for the feels.

You too, Jess!

[CAESAR ERIC MONTAGUE]

It was not that difficult to tell that she was keeping something from him when she made a mention of “they” - the people who were assumed by Caesar to be expecting his fiancée. Pureblood kids are taught to hide their emotions and to be a big perfect liar under all circumstances. To his knowledge, pureblood girls who were in house Slytherin with him were kind of good at that, especially when they wanted something and deceiving was the only way to get there. But Rosey was very much different from them, despite her blood status and her bringing-up. She was genuine and an open book – to him at least. Her lacrimal and her circulatory system did not seem to function under the control of her brain but under that of her heart. She cried when she was upset and blood naturally rushed to her cheeks when she was embarrassed. And that made her stand out of those ladies with emotionless faces of rock and stone. He supposed he might be able to get the truth about the “they” out of her. But Rosey did not do things without reasons, and he trusted her with his life – that if she did not want him to know something, it would probably be for the sake of his, or her own. So he chose to keep his mouth shut and let the subject go uncontionally. Furthermore, it was not that he had never kept secrets from her, because he had more than once actually. For instance, he had decided that, even if they stopped avoiding one another, he would never tell her how excited Katherine was about their upcoming engagement party and the fact that she would get to call Rosey her daughter – or daughter-in-law to be exact. That way the Hufflepuff would not have to feel bad when the marriage was broken off. Likewise, he would tell her about his upset on hearing that she would sooner spare her time for someone else than him, hence he would not cause her any other sleepless nights.

Caesar half wanted to laugh and half wanted to fight back after he heard her reasoning about kidnapping. “Okay then, let's say that I am kidnapping you. Just so you know, even if this means my going to Azkaban, I will not let you go.” The Slytherin uttered, hardly noticing that he was actually smiling decently for the first time in the day. Nothing was the same anymore, Rosey being his clarity and his sanity never changed. The Slytherin genuinely took no notice of her claiming that she might not be in the mood for her own plan with someone else. The fury and irritation in her voice took not only him but nearly everyone else in their way by surprise. She fought back, defended herself even more fiercely than he had in the beginning, as though he had accused her of murder, as though she had waited for so long to say those words. And Caesar found himself at a loss for words because every single thing she said – it healed and hurt terribly at the same time. The kind of bittersweet he had never known of. His heart sank on hearing her confession. She was always watching him? Because she could not get him out of her mind or because she wanted to see how miserable he had become? She was constantly aware of his presence? Then why had she had to act like she knew nothing of his existence? They had been playing such a cruel game, which none of them wanted to win. They had chosen to look at each other from distance whereas it had only taken courage to put an end to that hurtful habit. Caesar had not got that courage, until today when he found out that he could not bear this cruelty anymore. And that every part of his soul was dying for her. “Yes, I am daft! I freaked out and lost my mind because you acted like I was dead, like the whole thing was okay and you had moved on without me.” He snapped back. “I have been constantly afraid of losing you since we were children because I...” He stopped short at that. Because he was a good friend? No, it was not just that. Everything was so clear in his head, but he purely could not let himself spit it out. And her telling him that she wanted to hate him gave him a good enough reason to hold it back. He wished he could ask her what he was to her, and why she had to treat him that way – making him get his hope high and then crash it into millions of pieces. But he did not on account of her mention of the marriage. It was one of his promise too – to break off the marriage. He would not have hesitated to keep it if they had been the same, which they were not. What kind of conflict had he got himself into?

“But, I can't.” Just like that, she took him by surprise with her confession again. There was nothing he could do but stand staring at her with his eyes wide open. “You know you don't have to.” He said, lowering his voice. Oh, she had to, especially after what he had done to her. Human – the creature that could not be satisfied. A part of him wanted her forgiveness while the other part hoped she could learn to hate him, so that her suffering would end. Hatred makes everything easier. You never have to worry about the one you detest with every cell of your body, never have to cry for him, never have to look his way. Was that what he wanted, or he did not even know what he wanted? “I was living my life as I always have.” He paused to take in a deep breath then continued slowly. “I was in the dungeon, waiting to walk you to classes. I was outside of your class, hoping to take you to watch the Slytherin's Quidditch practice. I was sitting at our spot in the Great Hall at every lunch, wishing to see you coming.” Only by not having Rosey by his side any longer had he been able to realize how empty his world could be without her. His world, it revolved around her, it collapsed and it fell into pieces without her. He should have known. Human – the creature who never know what they have until it slips out of their fingers. “I waited, but I did not have enough courage to stop you, to come after you, to corner you, to make you listen.” His gaze never left her face while he was speaking, despite the fact that looking at her made his knees feel so weak and his heart ache. “Because I feared my words would sting you and my touch would burn you.” Caesar is hurting, that is the person he is. He is like fire – you will get burned if you get too close. It was hard for him, too, to look at her. Everytime he did, he would remember all the things he had said and done. How she had walked away. How she had avoided his eyes during dinner. However, looking at her now, he did not see his own guilt anymore, but the urge to pull her close instead.

“I love you.” All the demur, frustration and anxiety swirling inside him vanished in a blink of an eye when Rosey closed up. Caesar Montague did not try to step away or avoid her grip on his shirt – he did not do anything aside from standing like statue. They were too close again, like the way they had been at his home. And such close distance had ended up resulting in so heartbreaks and too much pain. Caesar felt in his bones that it was neither good nor right to be so close to her. Still, he found himself unable to keep his distance when her sayings truck him like a million lightnings. Her scent that scatters in the summer wind, her soft voice that he heard, they came spreading into his heart, healing and keeping it beating. Paradox is that it feels to wrong to do the right thing, and so right to do the wrong thing. She should be hating him. She should try harder to hate him. Couldn't she see what he had done to her? It stood to reason that he did not deserve her, and he would not even in the next life – if there was a next life to wait for. She was too beautiful, too pure to be his. Then why loved him, Rosey? Wasn't she afraid of getting burned? But how was he supposed to endure this life without her – his sanity and clarity? How could he push her away when all he wanted to do was hold her tight? The game they were playing was getting to a dead end where he realized he did not want to win. He wanted her. So he let her pull him to her level without making any attempt to resist. He only had enough time to widen his eyes when he felt her lips on his skin. Every touch of her lips on his skin was so gentle, like her person, that he did not dare to move for fear that it would break such a precious moment. There was no questioning, no wondering, no reasoning. He needed no answer this time. All he knew in his mind was the sweetness of her lips once they were on his own. Caesar had kissed other girls before, but no one had ever made him feel so...right like this. So on the second time Rosey pressed her lips against his, he leaned in and responded to it. His arm wrapped about her waist to pull her closer while the other ran through her silky hair. He tilted his head to a side, for better access. The passion that he had never thought to really exist.

No sooner had she pulled away than Caesar realized how much he needed air. Staring at her as he tried to catch his breath, the Slytherin felt as though he just got up from a serie of dreams. Did their kiss really happen or was it just a product of his imagination in a moment of unconsciousness? But her words proved to him that everything was real. She was real. So were all the feelings. What had they done? “Hey, I am here now, ain't I?” He said tenderly, squeezing her in his arms and keeping her head against his chest. The constant heartbeat and the serenity of his soul – it was all because of her. “I'm sorry that I hurt you, Rosey.” His voice got lower, almost like a whisper. “I won't do that to you ever again, I promise.” Another promise. He wanted to tell her never to make him stay away from her. But he knew he did not have to. Because he would not leave her side, even if she wanted him to. He hoped.

TAG::  ROSALIE POSEY HARPER

NOTE:: omg, it'll be so so so heartbreaking when he meets gisella and she has to choose between lorcan and him. xD

CREDIT:: text made by the amazing LOVE LIKE LISA?! @ caution 2.0