Injured--But No Longer Broken /// Thomas

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

Hugo had finally made it home. There was only maybe three days before the trip to school would take place, but he would be spending that time relaxing. He knew what he had done. He put everyone in his family in that state of never ending panic. He cared about that, and if it weren't for that, he would say the entire thing worked out alright. Despite being almost murdered, twice, he had done what he wanted. He got his point across. He had pissed that old hag of a witch off and he was content with that. If that meant she would be off attacking others, then he would feel remorse, be he would never apologize for what he did. Borgin and Burke's awning was just a perk to all this. Sure, it was painful, and it still pained him every now and then, but getting his ass completely annihilated was something he needed... Probably.

He was a bit surprised when Scorp showed up out of no where and just carried him off. He respected him way more now than he had ever. It was thanks to him that Hugo was alive. He had been so confident going in, and had no idea he'd be so confident after that. He had a cockiness about him that seemed to not be so fitting, as usual you won't expressed her with a small smile. He was using his crutches to get along. If only he had kept an eye on him. Three maybe four wizards were what surrounded him almost at all times. Hugo had a pretty strong feeling that the Dark Lady would not be trying to pay him a visit.

All these events leading up to Hugo running off to get revenge really impeded in his though process now. He never had any sort of intense feeling, but this was one was pretty sure. He was curious as to how long he would really be given before going back to Hogwarts. And he was also curious as to why Thomas was there. He began toward the door on hi crutches and smiled slowly as he pulled the door open. "Uh.. He-Hello?" he said stuttering through a cracky voice.

@tom

[Deleted]

Thomas had just left St Mungos where his grandfather was recovering from being poisoned. He was very lucky that Dan Lloyd had been with him when it happened, or the odds were that Arthur would already be dead by now. Thomas had visited Hugo in the hospital when he had been in there, and showed his concern for him, but above all he saw his younger cousin's actions as stupidity and recklessness, and now he saw that they were endangering the lives of others that they both cared about. So he was on his way over to Hugo's house to have some rather stern words.

There were some wizards around the house guarding it so that Hugo would stay safe, but it was clear that Hugo wasn't really a target. He was a minor, after all, and the Black Army wouldn't care who they went after, as long as they could make waves. Why go for a minor when they could try and take out the Weasley patriarch? So all Hugo had done was put a big target on someone else's back. Thomas strode past the wizards, giving them a nod and receiving one in return. He was trusted, he would be let in. He knocked on the door and then saw Hugo answer. "Hugo. How are you recovering?" he asked as he came into the house. He knew the place quite well, having visited his aunt, uncle and cousins there quite often. More specifically to spend time with Rose, as they were closer than he and Hugo ever were, with the slight age gap.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

When Thomas asked him, his mind leaped. He was healing okay, but standing in front of him was someone who let this all happen to Rose. Standing in front of him was someone who was there. In Hugo's mind, all he could see was that James and Thomas should have been able to do more and he was angry at them both for it. He didn't understand that they were all victims. All three of them. All he could let himself know is the blame on the two of them. He turned away from him and crutched his way back to the high top table chairs in the kitchen.

"Fine.. What do you want?" He said with a dignified displeasure in his voice. He didn't know what he would say or how this conversation would play out. He figured, like most of his other relatives of his age, Thomas would express a huge disappointed tone and words that would make Hugo feel pretty shitty about it. Hugo had heard a lot of that from his dad. Then again, Ron probably would have done the same back when he and Hermione were in school. Tell me different... He had to get his courageous stupidity from someone, right? He took his seat slow and leaned his crutches against the back side of another chair. He adjusted his seat with a small groan and slowly lifted his leg onto another chair. "If you've come to give me a riot act, get in line.." he said, coldly. He and Thomas didn't have a very good relationship.

He knew that he and Rose did. Of course, that was one of the reasons he and Thomas weren't as close. The age different. Hugo had always wanted to hang out with the bigger kids, but they clearly didn't let that happen a lot. He got his chances to, sure, but it wasn't a regular thing or anything. Hugo may have been overly bitter because of that alone. But he knew why Thomas was there. Ultimately, Thomas wanted to know what the hell Hugo was thinking. He would also be the person to pull logic into this. What, with a note on how Hugo didn't think how this would affect others or how he could have died and upset everyone. Hugo had heard a lot of all that many times. The only person who really seemed to have any kind of grip on his reasoning was Arthur, shockingly enough. Gramps seemed to be proud of him. Of course, he too offered a bit of his old aged wiseness about the dangers and such, but overall, Arthur wasn't too upset.

Hugo could tell by Thomas' demeanor that this was not going to be a short conversation.

@tom

[Deleted]

Well, that was a gracious greeting. "I came over to check up on you, and have a chat," he said, as he took a seat. He didn't want this to get fired up - he would prefer it stay calm, and he was going to try and be respectful of Hugo without tearing him a new one. The kid had a lot to learn about how to conduct yourself during war, and Thomas would be happy to teach him that in a nice way if Hugo was respectful. But so far it didn't seem like he was going to be.

Thomas didn't think their relationship was that bad - just obviously not as close as Thomas was with Rose. There had never been any issues between him and Hugo as far as he knew, at least. "Well, no need to be like that. What, who else has come to have a go at you?" he asked curiously.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

Have a chat, well Hugo knew what that meant. He rolled his eyes away from Thomas, so he didn't see. He didn't want to be rude, but he had his own feelings to be talked of, and he wasn't prepared for that to happen. He would be screaming down his throat if he really didn't have control of himself, but he was trying. He still had yet to learn the entire story, but he still had a pit in his stomach. It wouldn't be going away any time soon, and he wasn't just going to seek out James and Thomas to have this talk. Though, Thomas coming here and asking how he was, he knew there was ulterior motive. "Is this going to be me saying I'm okay, you nodding happily about it then turning into a tosser.. Talking down to me like I'm stupid or something? Saying how naive I am for doing what I did? I don't want to hear it, again so you can get on knowing I'm okay."

He could feel his body tense. He didn't mean to be hateful, but with everything that had happened, this definitely was not Hugo's best moments... This year was only half over and it was awful. "Who hasn't..." He said slightly angry putting his hand into a fist. A tear streamed down his cheek. He had failed, he had watched his sister go through a lot of pain, and he himself has been through a lot of pain. He didn't need to hear this. Or did he? He wanted to just get on his crutches and go, prepare himself for the next month he'd be in them. Of course, school was starting soon and he'd have to use them in the castle, but that was okay. Of course, he didn't need the practice. His arms were more than strong enough, and he had been in them a few times. He's quite the clumsy adventurer.

He looked back to Tom, "Sorry.. It's just been a really rough... year..." He hesitated with his apology. He really didn't know if he wanted to apologize for his rudeness toward Tom. Suddenly, something in him snapped. His eyes were steady, unlike how they ever are. He looked at Thomas, his glance was cold. "What happened?" his words were less than comfortable. He knew this conversation was going to happen, and it'd be a cold day in hell if Thomas' little lecture would happen in the prior. "Before you dictate to me over any of this, what the hell happened.." He needed to hear the whole story of the attack on his sister.

@tom

[Deleted]

Hugo's attitude was getting tiresome for Thomas. He had tried to come here and be reasonable, but in his opinion Hugo was acting like a spoiled brat. "There may be some things I want to talk to you about, sure, but I'm coming here to help you, not to slam you," he told him, trying to remain calm. The way this was going, though, that might not be an option. "What do you mean, who hasn't? Your entire family loves you. You have a bigger and more supportive family than most people can dream of, you know," he pointed out. Thomas knew that Hugo had failed and that he had received a stern talking to from his parents, particularly Hermione. But that was because they loved him, which was obvious from Thomas' perspective.

He seemed to soften for a moment, which gave Thomas hope that this conversation could go in the right direction. "I know it has. And I'm sorry for that... you know we're all here for you, right?" So long as he didn't push them away, at least. But then Hugo went cold again, and asked Thomas - angrily, no less - what happened. "You mean when we were attacked?" he asked, frowning. He didn't like to relive it. But he thought Hugo was owed that. "The three of us were heading out of the Leaky Cauldron, and down one of the alleys there. And she attacked us from behind. Took out James straight away with the Cruciatus curse, and then dueled me and Rose at once. She slammed Rose back into a wall and sliced almost right through my arm. None of our spells were getting through. She then tried to use the Cruciatus curse on James again but Rose jumped in front of it and was hit by it. I kept duelling her for a bit longer but then she just left, as if she was done there. She could have easily killed all three of us, that's the worst part," he muttered. He knew he needed to train more.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

He knew that. He knew he had a whole family who loved and cared for him. But yeah, he was a bit bitter hearing the same thing from anyone. He didn't want anyone's sympathy and he didn't care for the lectures he was receiving. He knew they would be coming, eventually, and now they were almost through. Thomas should get to say his peace, right? Hugo may have been angry at him for what happened to Rose, but was he and James really to blame? Hugo had always thought they were. "Yeah... I know, Tom... Everything just feels so hard right now.." Hugo cracked. He started crying. He never thought he'd cry to Thomas... ever.. oh, but he was. He cared for everyone so much, but was he ever really being noticed for anything positive lately. Maybe that was it. Maybe Hugo lashed out and was looking for attention. No, he had himself dead set on doing that because he wanted to avenge Rose. He claimed to himself he did it because Thomas and James couldn't protect, he should at least retaliate--no one else was going to.

He looked up at Tom with his wet face and dripping eyes. "You don't get it..." This wasn't about Rose anymore. He knew Tom wouldn't understand what Hugo had been through. "Sure... going in it wasn't very bright.. and I didn't way the pros and cons very well, but I really didn't give a shit. I did it for Rose..." Or so he thought. Now knowing what had really happened that day, he couldn't be mad at Tom or James... "I know it was stupid, Tom... and I don't care how many times I hear the words, Do you know how stupid that was? or You could have been killed! I would do it again..." He wasn't being cold, or angry, but hurt. "No one really understands what I've been going through... But.. I am sorry, Tom... I blamed you... and James for what happened to Rose... I shouldn't have..." he looked back down feeling guilty. "I'm so sorry I've been so mad at both of you..." He couldn't prevent the tears from falling.

He closed his eyes for a moment. The images of the three being attacked were playing in his head. He clenched his eyes tighter. He knew what he had done was stupid. He still didn't care, though. He raised his head slowly. "Look... I had to do something.. I couldn't just watch my sister recover day by day like that... and I guess... with everything just piled on, I felt like there was no other choice.. I wanted to face her myself... Even if that meant my death.. I didn't care, and I don't know why... I just needed to do this..." he looked away again. He didn't know what else he could say to Tom. He had broken down in front of him, and it left Hugo questioning every reason he had for doing anything he had done the last few months.

@tom

[Deleted]

Thomas put a hand on Hugo's shoulder as he broke up a bit. He could understand that the guy had had a hard time, and at least it seemed he wasn't going to blame Tom or James anymore. But when he said he did it for Rose, Thomas shook his head a little. "I can understand you wanting to get revenge. Trust me, I'd love nothing more than to take care of her myself. I have a personal investment in wanting that to happen. But if you were doing that for Rose... do you know what that would have done to her if you had been killed? It would have destroyed her, not to mention the rest of us. We need to look after ourselves, man. It's a war. We need to pick our battles, and choose the ones where we have the best odds. You've clearly got the courage to put a lot of the rest of us to shame, but you just need to pick your battles more wisely," he said gently. He was glad that they were able to talk about this without voices being raised, and that they could address each other respectfully. He knew about Hugo's temper and had been worried it was going to come out again today.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

He looked back to Thomas. He knew he was right, though Hugo didn't want to admit it. "Yeah..." he said, swallowing hard. He had to come to that hard realization. What if he had been killed? Would his ghost be able to talk to Rose? Would she be completely crushed and unable to go on? He didn't like playing the what if game anymore. "I'm alive.. I understand how lucky I am for being so, but that still doesn't change anything. I did it... I had my reasons..." He was learning it was stupid, coming to the conclusion that he wouldn't be going after her again. He may have been a tough kid, and that was definitely proven fighting her, but he wasn't strong enough.

"I just keep circling that thought in my head though, Tom..." that thought was nothing more than the need to be seen as that Courageous and smart kid again. "I was being tolerated... I made mum and dad look bad by failing, and I was being treated like a stranger... And.. I'm not trying to seem like I don't deserve some of that... But it has just been hard.." He did it for Rose, but that didn't stop him from thinking that it brought attention to him. The attention he wanted and the attention he received were two very different things. "I know there is no excuse anymore... but, I can't stand going on like this... Not anymore.." Failing, not being himself, being grounded, the Dark Lady incident, everything was his fault and he knew that. He could have easily passed his classes, and not allowed his personal life to become the biggest distraction of all. He could just as easily come out to his family and friends. And he also could have decided to be there for Rose, rather than try and avenge things. "A new school year, even if it is the same year... Things have to change..." He wasn't a kid anymore.

Tom wouldn't understand? What would Tom say? Hugo didn't know, and he was nervous. Maybe if he explained things a little more, Tom would understand what was going on with Hugo. What if he decides not to talk to Hugo anymore? disown him? That was Hugo's biggest fear. He had seen television about how some were accepting and some weren't. He had no idea why this was happening to him of all people, but it was and he had to deal with it. He had to deal with it like an adult. He would be seventeen soon and he knew what that meant. More responsibility, more effort needed. He didn't have time to be a kid anymore, those days were long gone. He had to start taking his life more serious and get an advantage on his adulthood. Of course, the year setback would make things worse, but he didn't care. He knew if he just stopped lying or hiding the truth, he would be a lot happier and his mind would be a lot lower stress level. His mind was always worrying him with what ifs of people finding out, ridiculing him, disowning him, abandoning him, and the etcetera.

@tom

[Deleted]

He may have had his reasons, but they were foolish and reckless reasons. Still, it looked like Hugo realised that. Thomas didn't want to push him on it anymore as it seemed like he had a grasp of it now. "You don't have to try and prove yourself again. We all know that you're great, you don't need to prove that to us, even if you feel like you're not living up to what you want to be able to do," he told him calmly. "I know it must be frustrating to have to repeat, too. But it'll be okay, I'm sure you'll make good friends in this year too... it's not all bad, and you can make good of it if you take the right attitude," he said positively. It was true, but it was difficult to do. So Hugo would need to try and channel his reckless courage into that.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

It wasn't that simple. "No Tom.." he said looking at him, "It's not just that simple. I can't just make things better.. I have to come clean." By clean, he meant out. It wasn't like he was wanting to just blast it out there, but he had to tell more than Evie and Rose. He suddenly just didn't feel comfortable. He slid his leg a bit over the chair and looked around the kitchen. He seemed slightly anxious. Was he really ready to tell Tom? He exhaled slowly and then took a deep breath.

He looked like he was going to speak, but words fell short. There was nothing. He just exhaled, as if he wanted to say something, but wasn't ready. Which was definitely the case. He fought an inner battle and then looked back over at his cousin. His mental stability wavering. "I.. I've been dealing with something, Tom.." that was an understatement. "And I really don't know how... It's not like they have a guide to life. It's not like I can just ignore everyone's words..." Which he had been. Some people thought it was just fun, but little did they know Hugo was actually gay.

Word Count:200
OOC: Erg..
@tom

[Deleted]

Thomas was puzzled by Hugo's comment. "Come clean? Why, is there something else you did that you didn't tell us?" he asked curiously, making sure it wasn't in an accusing tone. He just wanted to hear Hugo out, so that he could get whatever he needed to get off his chest. He looked really on edge. "Are you okay?" Thomas asked him, sounding a bit concerned.

When he said he had been dealing with something, Thomas still had no idea where this was going. It wasn't like he would have any chance of guessing, it was so open ended that that would be pointless. He had to give Hugo the space to tell him himself. "Well, you can talk about it, if you like. Unless you'd prefer not to. But I'm happy to chat if you think it would help..." he offered, not quite sure how to react when he didn't know what the 'thing' was.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

You Thought By Now You'd Have Me Figured Out.

Hugo's tears seemed like they would never end. Then Tom said something. He'd be happy to help. Help what? He didn't know how this all made Hugo feel. He was sure that Tom didn't have any sort of secrets like that. Even if Tom did, he wasn't the type to hold much in. "It's just..." he tried to start talking, but it was no good. There was no use in trying, Hugo just nutted up like a scared little puppy. Which was odd. He was abnormally courageous and mighty fine with himself.

Even if he had been pretending for the last few years, he had only done it by being who he was before he developed sexual feelings. It wasn't like he was lying to anyone. He was a looker to, and so when the questions about who his girlfriend was, or if he'd be getting one, he just knew he had to answer with how he was keeping his focus on his studies, how he wasn't ready for a girlfriend, how he did all the things he was doing, only more of. He had been looking for someone. Someone special. But he couldn't outright say, Yeah, I've got a guy to bring home. He hadn't been quite that lucky, nor did he have the nerve to tell them he was gay. But, his blood began to boil again. This time... It was out of anger toward himself. His tears didn't stop, his face turned bright red, and his expression showed pain.

He was in his own private hell, and dealing with it himself was not an option anymore. Holding it in was not an option anymore. He began to hate his own life, and he really didn't know if he could actually handle living on with this overwhelming fear. Maybe that was another reason he had went after the dark lady. Maybe he had secretly hoped she would just end it for him. Was that it? He didn't know anymore, nor did he want to delve into his soul to look for the real reason. Just thinking about it, Hugo crossed his arm over the table and buried his face in them. He wanted to scream, the pressure was too much. His tears began to pour into his sleeves, and he was crying into his arms, his body jerking slowly. Air was being shot out in spurts, and his mind wouldn't shut up. He had thoughts of self harm, sure, but in this moment... In this moment all he wanted to do was die, or blurt it out... He didn't know what he'd do.

He tried calming down, but it was no use. He didn't know how. He just shook and rattled in his wet sleeves. He began to speak, though nothing was coming out at all. "I'm gay.. I'm gay.." He hardly understood himself, but he had said it. He knew Tom didn't understand what he was saying, but he broke down in front of him. Of all people, it was Tom who got the break down. It was easy to tell Rose. She had been there his whole life, and most likely knew it was coming. There was no way turning back, but he had to calm down before he could actually get the words out without the sobbing. He tried, but still, it was useless.. He was afraid of it. He was afraid.. of himself.

@tom; Word Count: 678;
Lyrics: PERFECT PORCELAIN by MARIANAS TRENCH
Template by DYLAN @ WATR

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Lyrics: [b]PERFECT PORCELAIN by MARIANAS TRENCH[/b]
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[Deleted]

Thomas could see that something was really eating Hugo up. He looked to be in a lot of emotional pain, and Thomas was starting to feel pretty concerned for his younger cousin. It seemed like he was trying to get something out, but wasn't able to do so, and ended up in tears. Thomas put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "Hey, buddy, take your time. No rush to get it out," he said calmly, hoping that that kind of response would help Hugo feel more comfortable. He didn't know a lot about what to do in situations like this, really.

HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY

[HUGO BILIUS WEASLEY]

You Thought By Now You'd Have Me Figured Out.

At his words, Hugo slowed to a softer sob. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for Hugo to feel insecure about this, though it was out of the ordinary for him to feel insecure at all. He didn't know what to say. He had said it. For a split second, he blamed Tom for not hearing him, but knew it was his own fault. He pushed his face into his sleeves trying to stop the cries. He clenched his eyes, gritted his teeth. Tom's touch seemed very unfamiliar. Had they ever even hugged? Hugo couldn't remember. He had so many members in his family, he knew there were some he never even spoke to.

He slowly raised his shaking, red, and wet face to meet Tom's. He had that slight shake most had after crying to hard. He was scared. He had seen it happen to people. Coming out, and suddenly everything they knew and loves was ripped away because of disownment. He was so scared of that. "Tom..." He said through quick, jutted breaths and sobs. "I.. I'm g.." He got back to the syllables. He knew he needed to tell him. If not for his own sanity and mental clarity, then for Tom's. He was sure Tom was just freaking out over Hugo breaking down in front of him. "I'm gay Tom." There. He said it. He looked away from him, in a slight wince, preparing him for whatever may be coming his way.

@tom; Word Count: 271;
Lyrics: PERFECT PORCELAIN by MARIANAS TRENCH
Template by DYLAN @ WATR