i'd rather be hurt than feel nothing at all

[AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV]

i'd rather be hurt

note: hope it's okay!

“Charlie?” Aisling Dolohov grabbed someone's arm suddenly but she immediately let go after realizing that it was not the one she was looking for. She could still feel the warmth of his hand holding hers. The girl looked around her anxiously, hoping to see a familiar figure of the Hufflepuff boy but her efforts met with failure. Charlie had walked right beside her when the two of them made their way to the dance floor for the last dance of the night. Everyone had rushed to the dance floor and soon enough it had been full of people. Aisling remembered being shoved forward by a Gryffindor fifth year who had been trying to get to the center of the room, right under the chandelier. And when she turned around, Charlie had disappeared, like he had been drifted away, like he had vanished in the air. Aisling could not help feeling worried, and perhaps a little disappointed, too because the last song was about to play in a minute or two and still she could not find Charlie.

The last slow dance of the night was something special that she wanted to share with him, and him only.

Having the last dance or not had not mattered that much to her until this year. Normally it would have been Xochilt and her spending the night together, talking about nonsense, ranging other girls basing on their ridiculousness and their dumb appearance. Oliver Summerby would have joined the talk, though he might not have been so keen on the whole ranging thing. Icarus would have sat with them as well but he would have prefer staring at Xochilt all night to actually talking to her, which was somehow understandable because when it came to Xochilt, Icarus seemed exceptionally fragile. Xarrah and Gisella would have been there with them, too. Once in a while, all of them would have stared at a random couple and then pitied them as a way to convince themselves that being single was not a bad thing at all. By the end of the night, they would have had a group dance, drawn attention, laughed frantically at one another and ignored the whole world. 

But the old days had past. Everything had changed. 

There was no childish small talks about nonsense, dumb girls or pathetic couples anymore. Oliver Summerby was no longer some boy who had nothing to his name. He was the Head boy and he had someone to take care of now. Icarus did not let his anxiety and nervousness get the best of him any longer when he asked Xochilt to go to the ball with him. Everyone Aisling knew had undergone great changes in their lives, which brought out the sides of them they had hardly known of. Things had become a little brighter, a little better for everyone now that they had found certain values of life. Aisling knew the wind was changing. For the first time in forever, the seventeen-year-old Ravenclaw felt so alive.

To her, Charlie Valdez was that change in the wind. With him, Aisling felt loved, and safe – the feeling she was very unfamiliar with. Sure Charlie did not know how to rip someone's apart or throw knives at his enemies. There was no guarantee that she would be safe with him around. But there was something about the way he smiled, the way his eyes shined in the summer's daylight, the way he squeezed her hand in his or the way his cheeks were redened after their lips met that made all her insecurities fade away. Fears seemed so unreal when she got lost in his eyes. Though he never knew, he kept her breathing even when the whole world collapsed, he kept her remembering the person she really was, not the one she was supposed to be. She wanted to feel that way for as long as she could. 

So how come she had never told him “I love you”? What was holding her back?

All the talking and laughing went silent as music started to play. The last song of the night. Aisling nervously watched the people around her pairing up and swaying with the tender melodies. Perhaps she should get off the dance floor now. It was pointless to be up there when she was all alone. But as soon as she turned around, she ran into someone and her head hit him in the chest. Her eyes widened as she realized an oddly familiar pleasant scent on the person's shirt. “Sorry I wasn't looking...” Aisling muttered under her breath before she looked up at the man. “Oh, you.” Of course the scent on his shirt had to be familiar, because it was Drew Reinhardt's. 

tags:  @drew

credit to Delusional

[Deleted]

Drew had has this plan worked out in his mind perfectly, he even has it in progress since a month ago, it is so easy to tap into someone's mind when you've already got a taste of it. The perfect opportunity was given to him last summer, even Drew couldn't believe his discoveries when he got a glimpse of the redhead Ollivander's mind. A vampire, really. What trouble has she gone through to keep it a secret from everyone, even Drew missed it, that little excuse to not spend the day outside because she has sun-allergy.

What a liar.

One couldn't blame him for what he's about to do, Drew has given Aisling enough advices and warnings, most of all he has given her enough time - time is running out. She has to stay away from those who she called friends, those halfblood or even muggleborns who she mingles with. Both his and her parents are running out of patience with this. It happened the night after the training camp which had wreck Drew's world apart, Drew was in his room trying to work on his Occlumency when he was approached by Thomas Reinhardt. The moment his father walked into his room the boy had almost disapparate on instinct, yet he held his ground, it didn't make him less nervous though. He was not in trouble this time, part of him was glad that after all these years he's finally doing something right in his father's eyes; the news he got is worse, when he was told that Aisling is the trouble, and Drew will put a stop on it before they do.

The evening had started out fine, any period of time he get to spend with Dahlia is pleasant, he almost regret that he has to cut it short. If things go smoothly as he planned though Drew will be back out to take her to a little boat ride, and they could talk spend it talking about anything and everything or nothing at all, he would have her in his arms and they gaze at the stars hoping for a meteor. A little mushy, but just the thought itself was enough to make Drew's lips curled up into a smile, a proper smile a little awkward and no less bright. Perhaps there's a piece of soul still intact within this boy, that he is not completely rotten as many people would love to believe he is. That smile was wiped away as soon as he saw the redhead leading the brunette muggleborn out the tent.

It is time, time to proceed with his plan.

Standing at 6'2" has certainly it's advantage, Drew stood at the middle of the dance floor, his eyes scanning through the crowd around himself. Everyone has came to claim themselves a spot here as soon as they know this will be the last dance of the night, just the chaos he needs as a distraction and yet the mess was putting a little frown on his face as seconds ticked by he couldn't find that brunette. And then his green eyes landed on her, Aisling Dolohov, the girl he sworn to protect and failing to do so. Why does it has to take so much to save her from herself?

Drew pulled in a deep breath and pushed his way towards her, she was looking rather lost in the middle of the crowd, although of course she is, Drew has been comparing her to a lost little swan among the ducklings. For so long that she has been under training she has still not seen what this whole Black Army business about is not for her to hang out and snuggling up to her muggleborn friends and boyfriend; it is about killing them, scrapping them off of the surface of the magical world. Aisling's illusion must have shown her father about these wrong people she cares in her life, it is a test of fear after all, why else would his father approached him asking him to clean up the mess?

Silly Aisling, always an idiot.

When he finally came near to her, her back was to him. Drew was just about to reach a hand towards her when she turned around, the time she took to regain her balance and apologize was enough for him to compose his expression back into his usual arrogance. "Yes, me. You are surprise." It is a statement, not a question, that Drew knows that she saw him coming to the Eve of Lights with Dahlia earlier that evening, he assumed she would expect bumping into him sometimes tonight.

The light was deeming as they spoke, and the tune turned a tempo slower, as couples around then started to pair off with one another. Drew took it as a cue, he took a step closer towards Aisling, with his hand held out, he gave her a bow. "Do I have the honor to have this dance with you?" he asked sincerely, holding Aisling's gaze with his steadily, and a small smile on his face as he waits for her answer.

"Drew's Speech"
Drew's Thoughts
NPC Speech

Words: 853
OCC: hope this is alright.
Outfit: CLICK
Tagged: AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV

Template by Paige @ WATR and CAUTION

[AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV]

i'd rather be hurt

note: it's perfecttttt! 

Aisling blinked quickly when she felt water welling up in her eyes. She cracked a sarcastic smile and started scolding herself for acting like an idiot. She was an idiot. Why would this dance matter to her anyway? And so what if she got to have this last dance with Charlie Valdez? She doubted it would mean anything to either of them. It should not mean anything at all. They came from two different worlds, and they were just where they belonged. It was not like he would give up his family and friends to join the Black Army for her sake. And it was not like she would withdraw from the Army just to be with him. And how would he react if he found out the truth about her, the truth that she was never the girl he thought he knew. He knew nothing about her. Once again, it never mattered what she wanted. They served very different causes and for that it was so stupid of her to think that they stood a chance of lasting.

They would not last. And because of that cold hard truth, she was even more frightened by the idea of losing him. Every moment she spent with him felt like the last one. Every goodbye she told him felt like permanent farewell. She was playing the Russian roulette with her own life, she was throwing herself to the wolves. Be that as it may, she still hoped for a miracle. It was so wrong to hope. There was no hope whatsoever for those hopeless dreams she tucked in every night in her sleep. Alistair died because he had believed in hopes and dreams, he had thought things could be different for the ones born to be sinners. He had chosen to fight against fate, and it had cost him his own life. 

Wake up, Aisling, when you still can. Winter was coming. After that would come Spring. And then Summer would arrive at her door before she even noticed, that would be when everything had to come to an end. It would be when Charlie Valdez became nothing more than a memory to her. She had thought this last dance would be something about him that she would remember forever. But now it appeared it would be a little bit easier for her to forget him when she had to. It was a good thing, she supposed. So let her night die in silence and nothingness. Suffering this emptiness should be a thousand times better than getting hurt. 

If only she had known what was awaiting her. The night was not ending yet. It was just the beginning.

And everything began with a coicidence, starting with her coming across the vain Drew Reinhardt – the last person she wished to see for the night. Aisling regretted apologizing for bumping into him almost immediately the moment she saw the everyday arrogance on his face. She had noticed his presence at the ball as soon as she arrived. She also had noticed that he did not expose that egocentric expressions when he was around his Dahlia-boo. Dahlia-boo. The younger Aisling always ended up laughing so hard that her mouth hurt whenever she heard that name coming out of his mouth. Sometimes her laughing quickly turned into a taunt when she started to copy Drew and echo the nickname at the top of her voice. The appropriate cruelty that childhood seems to require was rapidly adopted by the brunette. She still remembered the way his face had grown red in indignation. When it came to his Dahlia-boo, Drew Reinhardt's nerves were exceptionally easy to trigger. And Aisling Dolohov happened to be very good at it. 

She always thought she had him all figured out.

“No, I'm not surprised.” The Ravenclaw retort after his accusation. Though she was on heels, she still had to look up at him. It's so unfair. “I just didn't expect to see you... all alone. Where is your American Sweetheart?” She asked, trying not to show off the sarcasm in her voice too much. American Sweetheart. Ridiculously, that was the right term to describe Dahlia Monroe at school. It had taken Aisling a good while to get used to the scene of her childhood friend being extraordinarily amiable to those whom she labelled as 'filthy'.

Aisling instinctively felt the urge to step back when Drew took a step closer to her. The last time Drew deliberately closed the distance between them, he almost laid her out with a single powerful blow. Well, it was not on purpose, but better to be safe than sorry. Suddenly, his hand was held out to her and his body bent down politely. She would not admit, but she was startled. Then he opened his mouth and spoke. Her eyes widened in inexpressible shock as his words came to her ears. Oh Merlin, Drew Reinhardt was asking to have a dance with her, and it was not April's Fool day. “Um...Okay?” She said in response to him with a confused smile, her head tilted to a side. There was a question mark hanging over the motive of this unexpected invitation. However, to be honest, she found it kind of amusing. Hesitating a little, the girl took his hand held out to her and let her other hand rest on his shoulder. They were awkwardly close, again. But this was different from that hug in the woods. Aisling let him take the lead without even noticing it. There was a part of her that always trusted him. She hated that part of her so much.

“What is it?” Aisling questioned him quietly. What was it that he wanted from her? Or what was it that made her so nervous?

tags:  @drew

credit to Delusional

[Deleted]

He never wanted to hurt her, never meant to, never wanted to. The last thing he would want to do in this life is to hurt Aisling, little did she knows how he has been protecting her all along, that he just wants her to be safe and left untouched by the darkness in his world.

If he has a say in making one decision for her, Drew will never allow her to join the Black Army in the first place, she's not cut out for it, he could see. Aisling is too nice, she has always been too nice for her own good. Sadly by the time he came back from Germany everything was already in progress, he's too late. Has Drew not discuss this with his father, try to find the Dolohov girl a way out, he even lied to Thomas Reinhardt how she's too weak and couldn't be taught. Apparently the only way they could ever get out of this is by dying.

There's no return path, none of them has one, him, Dahlia and Aisling.

It has been three years, for three years that he has protected Aisling Dolohov from within and without, now is not the time he fail his mission, certainly not because of that boy or that redhead vampire, not for those halfbloods and muggleborns she should hate, but she won't hate. Why won't she? What did she sees in them? Them ordinary people with a hint of magic in them and claimed themselves magical. Why is she lowering herself to their levels when she is supposed to be so much better?

Flaws of the purebloods, they've always thought themselves being at the top of the world. That's how Drew was raised and how he was taught, what he believes wholeheartedly. He's one of the Reinhardt after all.

The boy smoothed down his suit before he reaches her, what something he hated the moment he put on turned out to not be too bad, at least he knows he must be looking damn good in this. Still he couldn't wait to change back into his T-shirt and jeans, to have all his weapon back at the right place only he will rest assured. Without the weight of his whip sitting around his waist felt weird after all these years gotten used of its presence.

"Oh? You're not?" Drew asked with an eyebrow raised, "Well apparently you've noticed me then. Tell me this, what do you think of me being with her?" A part of him felt pleased to hear her mentioning Dahlia, he couldn't help thinking that she has been watching them all night long. Was she jealous? Does she cares? "We are heading for a boat ride in a bit, Dahlia and I are," carefully he evaded her question, a small smile tugged up the corners of his lips, watching her expression with his green eyes. Drew refuses to use Legelimency on her, he never wanted to use that on her. "What about you? Where's your beau? Has he somewhat left you here alone now? Tsk, how not gentleman of him."

Of course, he knows exactly where Charlie is, he has to play his part and not let her figure it out just yet. Aisling has still a chance to save her friends, if that's what they are supposed to call. Xochilt has taken him into the forbidden forest, a vampire as edgy as she is, Drew just needed to give her one little push and the girl will be onto the boy. By then even he can't save the two of them from the deep hell they will be in.

One more death, one more murder on his hand, nothing like Drew never did before.

Truth to be told, he didn't really want to do this, as much as he hated Charlie Valdez, he has been someone Aisling cares about, all in the the wrong way. And Xochilt Ollivander, he won't put her in this path if she has not come across as useful. The Ollivander should've made a better friend, a friend with cleaner background, a normal friend with normal family and a normal future ahead of her.

Well, now is  not the time to feel bad for them two.

Drew allowed himself a small smile when she agreed to dance with him, reaching out to take her hand in his and his other hand placed on the small on her back lightly. She's very beautiful tonight, that little white dress goes well with her fair skin, setting contrast to her dark colored hair and eyes. Drew likes how she's put a little mascara on her eyelashes, and that pair of pink lips glittering under the candlelight. She looks dazzling, especially if she would pull up a smile, However she has never smile at him, not a sincere one, not anymore, not since he came back from Germany.

What is it? How much effort has he put in to not let the question blurt out of his lips, does she hates him? He has been wondering about that for quite sometimes, but it doesn't matter, if what he planned for tonight is to happen for real, she will hate him forever, he knows that. That's exactly what put him in the position to teach her in the first place, also what makes him qualify as a warrior in his father's eyes: Drew knows the consequences and he still go through with it because he knows the cost of the alternative.

"Oh? Do I need a reason to ask my favorite student to dance with me?" He asked her back, one eyebrow raised briefly, "This is the last dance of the night. Let me have a wonderful one with you."

He doesn't want anything to ruin the moment, he wanted to hold onto this moment forever and ever if he has a choice, with just her in his arms, looking into that dark brown hue of her eyes, losing in them. He could forget about her father and his father and how Dahlia is so broken by the news of her father passed away, he could pretend that he's just a normal teenage boy, dancing the last dance of the night with the girl in his dream. There's no Charlie Valdez or the Black Army or the death sentence standing in their way.

He could pretend everything are normal at this moment.

If he could have this moment forever.

I love you, he admitted it right then, inside his head, never will this boy has the courage to tell her these three words out loud. His heart belongs to her since that summer holiday when he stepped foot into the dark and gloomy Dolohov household for the first time in three years, he has given his heart to this dark-haired girl.

You have to do it, you have to do it now, Sometimes, Drew hates his sensible voice in his head, the one which seems to know the timing perfectly, that what should happen at when. "Ais-" Out of his lips the sound of her name so tender, he was just pulling her back into his arms after a spin and all he wanted to do is wrap her in his arms, hide her from the world and all the harm coming her way. Forgive me, It must have flashed across his green eyes, his silent begging for her forgiveness which he knows he won't be given for doing this to her, and then his expression hardened, "If I ask you to do one favor for me nicely, would you ask no question and do that for me?"

So hard his was pounding under his chest as Drew still held onto that one piece of hope as he asked her in low voice. Their face so close now he could breathe her in, and yet at that moment Drew couldn't feel further away from her.

"Drew's Speech"
Drew's Thoughts
NPC Speech

Words: 1324
OCC: This is breaking me... WHY DREW?!!
Outfit: CLICK
Tagged: AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV

Template by Paige @ WATR and CAUTION

[AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV]

i'd rather be hurt

note: omg. feels! feelsssss! and sorry i rambled!

Ethan told her that the Black Army was her last chance to be free. From her own fears and fragility. The fears for not being accepted and the fragility of a lover. Ethan and her, both of them had hoped that the Black Army would change that about her, would make her a strong person, perhaps ruthless, too if necessary. And trust her, she had wanted that strength and power as desperately as her father had. Had she not, she would not have pushed herself to learn Dark Arts and how to use weapons. At the age of five, when normal kids were told normal stories about hopes and dreams, Drew, Dahlia and her – they were not allowed to belive in such things for they were for weaklings. She still remembered not sleeping for three nights just so she could master her non-verbal magic. Legilimency, which she was still working on, had caused her nightmares for a whole week; when she woke up, scratches were all over her arms, blood from the wounds stained her fingernails and her clothes. It did not hurt in the least, because it had been believed to be the little price for what she wanted, or she thought she wanted. And she had believed that she was her father expected her to be.

But there was always something not right about the Dolohov girl. Alistair must have felt it. They say there is a special connection between twins that cannot be explained. Alistair must have seen the way her eyes shone, though she tried to make it seem like she was not interested, when their mother told them fairy tales with happy endings; he must have seen the way she admired a blooming flower before having to destroy it just to prove that she was not weak. Aisling could swear she had made great efforts to conceal the lover in her. She blamed her mother for it. Christine was the one that gave her the name 'Aisling'. 

Aisling (noun): vision, daydream, fantasy.

When they were younger, Dahlia always told her that she was a weakling. And she fought back, she said she was not, someday her friend would see. Someday she would stop standing behind Drew and Dahlia. Someday she would be the one who protected them all. Someday. 

The Ravenclaw's brown eyes landed on the tall figure standing before her. Drew Reinhardt truly stood out from the crowd that night. Seeing him in a decent suit was not something she could get used to overnight, she guessed. He was no longer the scrawny boy she had known from childhood, who was tinier and shorter than her. He was no longer the fifteen-year-old little boy (they were at the same height at that time) who came back from Germany and brought home the weird accent that some girls at school thought was 'sexy'. For the first time ever, she wanted to give him some sincere compliments, before he ruined that good intention of hers by asking for her thoughts about him being with his Daliah-boo. The girl let out a small laugh before looking up at him again. “You Dummkopf.” Said the brunette, trying to copy Drew's accent. Aisling Dolohov took pride in being a fast learner. “Oh I feel bad for Dahlia. She is too good for you.” She remarked.

She had always noticed him like a bad habit. She guessed it had been a habit of hers since childhood. It all started because Ethan wanted his three-year-old daughter to look up to his best friend's son, so he literally asked her to look at him, watch what he did and learn from him. So she did as she was told. It was Drew Reinhardt who never looked her way. The ten-year-old her looked at him closely everyday just to figure out why his face seemed so sad. She did not ask, because she knew he would lie. Though she never found out the reason, she was glad that she did something. The fifteen-year-old her did not look at him anymore, she watched out for him to make sure he was not around to ruin her life. She did not say it out loud, but she was happy that he finally looked for her first. Now looking his way was what the sixteen-year-old her did almost everyday. 

People say bad habits are heard to break.

Unexpectedly, Drew spoke of Charlie and Aisling felt like there were strings tightened in her ribs. A mixture of indignation and fear arose in her chest. Had it not been for something important, Charlie would not have left her. Or perhaps he was looking for her, somewhere in the crowd. She did not know. Her faith in him was her only hope. And she had no intention of letting go of that hope, no matter what Drew would say. “He did not leave me here alone. He'll be back.” She said firmly. “And what were you saying? Ah, aren't you and Dahlia heading for a boat ride? I bet you're such a gentleman to leave her somewhere alone to come to talk to me like this.” 

Why should she care anyway? She did not have any objection to Drew looking extremely happy when he was around Dahlia. It was completely fine with her that he had only had his eyes on that blond girl. Not that she was bothered by the fact that the other girl obviously outshone her tonight. No, she did not pay them any attention at all.

When was the last time they ever had a dance with each other? Perhaps a hundred years ago. Just when she thought he was standing there just to make her life more miserable than it already was, he turned into Prince Charming without a warning and asked for a dance with her. Aisling caught sight of something in his eyes. She saw colors in them – dazzling colors hidden in the green as a forest in spring. At first she thought they simply reflected the colors of the lights above. But they did not. Those haunting eyes of his – they reflected his soul. She had seen that look on his face somewhere. Probably at the playground, when he stopped to spend a second or two staring at the empty space in front of him. Or in her basement after their training, when he got lost in thoughts. Or in the godforsaken woods which their parents had thrown them in, when he pulled her and Dahlia in for a hug. She felt lost, and drowning whenever she tried to figure out those colors in his eyes. Drew Reinhardt was such a paradox to her. How could someone be an open book and a mystery at the same time? She kept having a feeling that she was still standing outside his world. Occasionally, she gathered all the courage she managed to get to ask. But the answer was never satisfying, just like the one he had just given her for her latest question. “I guess not.” She muttered. And she smiled, so tenderly like it was the most natural thing to do when she heard him called her his favorite student. Something was tickling in her stomach. 

She asked no more questions.

No words were said after that. There was only the warmth of his hand, her heartbeats and a cold grey night sky out there. Soon enough, the sky faded to the distance. All her fears and insecurities somehow vanished, too. Music was weaving, pushing away the a cool empty silence. They were close enough for her to feel his warm breath against her skin. Aisling cracked a smile as she was spinning, knowing that she was safe as long as she was right here, in his arms. It sounded so wrong. But it felt right. 

She looked up at the Slytherin when she called her name. The word escaped his lips so tenderly in a whisper that she was not sure if it was him talking to her. But it was, because Drew was looking right into her eyes. The colors showed up again. But this time they were not so complex anymore, they were very dark and cold. The serenity on his face faded away so quickly that she did not have enough time to figure out what was happening before he asked her a question, which caused her eyes to widen in confusion. 

“If I ask you to do one favor for me nicely, would you ask no question and do that for me?” 

“No.” She uttered almost instantly after the question was spoken. “You know me too well, Drew. You know that I will not do anything without a reason.” Her voice quavered a little but her gaze refused to leave his face even just for a second, like she was trying to see through his soul though she knew it was not possible. Music was still playing. But the song was coming to an end. If only she had known what was about to begin.

“What is it?” She asked again. The same question she had asked a few minutes ago. But this time with no curiosity but suspicion instead. 

tags:  @drew

credit to Delusional

[Deleted]

Drew Reinhardt has heard enough to know what most girls think of him, he has know that soon as the teenage growth sprout kicked in and he started to change physically, combining that and the hours of trainings his father put him through since the young age of seven, he had soon grown out of the phrase where most people just call him pretty. Of course, the pretty face stayed, with age leaving it's own marks on it, but those long bronze-colored eyelashes still framing his eyes, and his straight nose and strong jaw. He has also been told that his eyes are mesmerizing too.

See, Drew does has a reason to be as confident as he is.

"Oh?" Hearing her using German the first time Drew raised an eyebrow at her, his expression a playful shade of amusement, "I didn't know that you speak German. Have you purposely learn that word just to insult me?" He smirked at that, part of him was uncharacteristically happy at the simple thought that she's learning a foreign language just for him. She must have care about him somewhat, somehow, enough to prompt her remembering the other language he speaks. Drew allowed himself to give a small leap of cheer inside himself, his lips spread into a smile so pleased.

"For the record though, I am not an idiot, look who you're talking to who has 8 Owls out of 9 subjects he takes, and the one I didn't get an O, I got an Exceed Expectation," subtle has never been Drew's strong point, especially towards this girl he knows his whole life, "And actually, I've been told that Dahlia and I are very alike, like two peas in a pod to be exact. If you're calling her good, then you must have approved of my goodness too. Well, why, thank you, for I never knows that you think so highly of me."

There was a saying goes about how most girls love bad boys, Drew Reinhardt plays his part very well. Sometimes he even suspected that he plays the part too well.

Listening to her speaking of Charlie with so much trust itself was enough to chase away any form of regrets Drew had felt for that muggle boy in an instance. While he would insist that he's not jealous of Charlie Valdez because the other boy has nothing against him in any competitions, he knows, he knows that part of the reason he's so willing to set Charlie as a target this time is because of how much Aisling had care for the other boy, all other reasoning comes later. He wanted to hurt Charlie as badly as he did because Charlie is the one she cares about when she should be caring for him. Him, Drew Reinhardt, the pureblood boy who has grew up with her! He should be the one she should trust wholeheartedly, because he has always been there for her.

Well, not strictly true but... But Drew doesn't think Charlie actually stand a chance against Ethan Dolohov when it comes down to that.

"Well, he has still left you standing alone in the middle of the dance floor didn't he? Or you've just wandered in here hoping to have the last dance by yourself?" his smirk deepened, one of his perfectly shaped eyebrow raised challengingly. "Actually Dahlia needed a bathroom break, you know, girls stuff. I am here being a good date waiting for her to return actually, thinking that hey, why can't I be a good friend in the meantime too, right?" Drew lied flawlessly, his heart hasn't even skip a beat as he utters those untrue words to her, there are reasons why he was sorted into Slytherin despite of how intelligent he is.

The dance had kept them mostly quiet, the argument banter ceased. Drew was occupied by the simple action of looking at her, watching every little expression crossing her face with the concentration like he was trying to memorize her, afraid that he might never get the chance to be this close to her anymore. If she hates him, he would never have a chance to be so close to her anymore, if he gets the chance to get near her at all then; If he does what he's about to do and hurt her, she will never come to be so close anymore either. There was a fleeting thought passing his mind then, that moment when they were so near to one another that he could breathe in her unique scene, Drew had wanted to lean down and kiss her. He wanted to do that so much that if it hasn't been the other, more rational voice at the back of his mind reminding him of the purpose for the night, he might've just given in to his desire, lean down to capture that pair of pink lips with his.

He controlled himself, focused on the dancing instead.

Of course, of course she won't agree to his request. Doesn't Drew know this Dolohov enough? He does, indeed he knew her too well, Aisling is ever so stubborn and always wanted to do the right thing. The fact that he still ask even though he has know the answer, is because this boy had hoped, that tiny winy bit he did hope she would say yes. No, she will never say yes, even if she agreed now she won't ever agree if he tells her what he wanted her to do. It is plain stupid of him to think otherwise.

But he should tell her the reasons right? Tell her about the request from his father and her father, about what it would cost if she continue standing at the wrong side of the line. How could he though, how could he ruin the image of her father with the cruel truth? From what Drew could see, he knows that Ethan and Aisling are very close. In ways he could never get love from his own father, Aisling got love and protection from hers. Of course he couldn't ruin that.

If only he knew...

"I-" facing the same question he was asked a few minutes before, Drew opened his mouth to answer and yet lost in the sea of words washed over him. What is it? The simple question with just three words, but if he speaks of the answer he will never get to see her again. Maybe not, maybe he would still get to see her from far away, he will watch out for her that is a promise he made himself all those years ago. "I want you to leave your so-called friends, you can't hang around them anymore," As he said, he felt a part of him closed off that door, just like how many times when he was put on the spot to do things he won't do normally, he closed off that boy behind now, unwilling to feel. Standing here in Drew's shell is just a killer his father trained him to be, "They aren't worthy of you and will only slow you down," and put you in danger, and get you killed, those unspoken words ringing loud in his green eyes even though they were not spoken out loud, "Leave them, take this as the last night you would have with them, and then don't see them anymore. The Ollivanders, Henderson, Lugubelenus, Summerby, Charlie Valdez," he said those last two words through gritted teeth like he was disgust with the words itself, and maybe he has, "Stay away from them, Aisling, I won't tolerate this game you're playing no more. You've picked a side, and it is with us, so walk away from them like how you should do."

"Drew's Speech"
Drew's Thoughts
NPC Speech

Words: 1294
OCC: >.< WHYYY?
Outfit: CLICK
Tagged: AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV

Template by Paige @ WATR and CAUTION

[AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV]

i'd rather be hurt

note: -runs around screaming-

Aisling Dolohov felt blood rush to her cheeks when she heard what the boy said about her learning German. She knew he came back from Germany and she is unlikely to forget that any time soon because he would not stop ranting on and on about how much corrupted she was by the filthy muggleborns in those years he spent hidding in Germany. It was just one summer day, after her training with Drew, she suddenly found herself in a bookstore, frustrated, pacing back and forth before a shelf with some German dictionaries on it. Aisling remembered bursting out laughing when she found the exact word she needed. “I've been waiting for so long just to throw that word at your face.” She shamelessly admitted and tried to make it sound like it was the most natural thing on Earth though her palms started to sweat and her little heart was pounding nervously in her chest. 

She crossed her arms as listening to him bragging about his achievements like they were just everyday things. “Are you trying to impress me now?” Her lips curled up into a smile as she spoke. In all honesty, she was impressed. Not that he was an idiot like she always refered him as. It was just that she did not expect him to actually pay attention to schoolwork for it appeared to her that all he ever cared about was the sacred duties the Black Army gave him. They were once all she ever cared about, too. “Wow, an Exceeding Expectation for Charms?” Said Aisling in a mocking tone. “I suppose Mr. Flint must have had a sleepless night and an internal struggle to decide whether or not to let you pass the exams.” She continued delightedly. “I guess I was wrong. After all, birds of a feather flock together.”

The Ravenclaw gulped to swallow the anger and the urge to throw her fist at his face when she heard what he said about Charlie and about how she was expecting to have the last dance of the night with herself. She wished she could scream at his face that the Hufflepuff boy would never leave her  without a reason. Ever. This temporary separation was not his fault. Perhaps it was because of the crowd that their hands parted. But Drew was just being Drew – all hostile and hateful. She wondered if the boy ever loved anybody. She had seen the way he treated other girls. He toyed with them as though they were nothing better than pretty dolls in fine dresses. Apparently, he was very proud of being a heartbreaker. That was the biggest difference between Drew and Charlie. And it was the one thing that made her fall in love with the muggleborn boy. He treasured her. “Okay, I won't get to have this last dance with by boyfriend. So what? We won't be damaged just because of one dance.” She questioned him, raising a brow challengingly. “Charlie is not you, Drew. You are the poison. But Charlie, he's the cure.” 

Much to her surprise, the last dance of the night still happened. But it was not Charlie's arms that she was in. Aisling never knew Drew's arms could give her warmth and safety. It was not the comfortable warmth and safety she usually felt when around Charlie. It was the kind of warmth and safety that could make you feel that you are surrounded by dangers, but none of them could get to you. You are protected. You are not hidding from them, you are facing them with no fears.

This was so wrong. Then again, it seemed like she had a great tendency to do wrong things.

She used to feel this way before. It was such a long time ago that she barely remembered having this feeling. But she knew it had once been there, when the young Reinhardt boy took her hand and led her through the crowd, running from an angry hound severely provoked by her, or when he deliberately took all the blames to help her get away with sneaking out at night to get on a train to a muggle town. Of course, after that, she had to spend the whole day listening to his lecture. What a wild child she had always been.

The dance did happen, but it ended sooner than she expected. Drew could have waited till the end but he had not. As soon as the cruel words left his mouth, she found herself instinctively making efforts to get away from his arms. The music was still playing but her feet had stopped moving. Her whole body was still like a statue and her eyes widened in shock and indignation. “What did you just say, Drew Reinhardt?” Her voice was small but steady. Attention was the last thing she wanted right now. Her eyes stared into his, the warm chocolate-brown color darkened and soon enough they became stormy skies. She had heard his words. Every single word. She wished none of them had come to her ears, at least not this night, not after all the stupid nervousness she had felt. It was not the first time Drew spoke of her friends with such sarcasm and contempt, but this time was different. Anyone with half a mind would not have any difficulty sensing noticeable seriousness in his voice, as though it was the last warning he ever gave out before some actions were taken. What was going on in his mind? 

“Who do you think you are?” She asked. “You have no power upon me, Reinhardt. Not when it comes to my friends. Tolerate? What do you know about tolerance?” Her friends. That's right. They were her friends, the ones who accepted her when the whole world's prejudice was against her. They had stood by her from time to time when Drew was no where to be found. If he thought the time of three years he spent to train her was long enough to make her feel anything similar to gratitude then he was wrong. He came back when her life was settled, to mess it up once again just like when he left. And he expected her to feel grateful? If they had been little kids, she would have jumped on him and scratched his face with her nails and screamed at him to leave her friends alone. 

“I do what I want, and I am happy to face all the consequences. You won't get involved, I promise. So leave them alone, I'm warning you. You have no idea what I'm capable of.” She uttered. As matter of fact, she did not know her capability either. But there was one thing she was sure about. If anything happened to the people she cared about, she would never forgive him.

The song ended. The night was only beginning.

tags:  @drew

credit to Delusional

[Deleted]

He wasn't sure why, but he just felt like being up at cloud nine when he heard her admitting how she's learning German for him, even the only word she learn to say to him is an insult, the boy couldn't help the explosion of sweetness inside his heart. He smiled, his smile must have leaked a little of what he felt inside. If he has not been important to her, she probably won't ever care where he come back from, right? Maybe to a certain degree that Aisling does care, maybe to a certain degree, she would feel sad too if he's to die on the battlefield one day.

"Oh, whatever. Just let me hear you say that again, 'Dummkopf', can you say it again?" Must be the silliest thing he ever did, but currently in his high spirit Drew doesn't care, it is not like Aisling would read much more out of his action than thinking he has hit his head sometimes before he came to dance with her, he was betting on the fact that she won't understand him, well, since when she does.

One eyebrow raised high, the corners of his lips curved up too as he went on bragging to her about his OWLs results, he knew he did pretty well there, even his father had given him no comment about that, which in Thomas Reinhardt case it is a form of acknowledgement. "Well, what to say, I've always been this impressive," his smirk deepened. To say Drew doesn't care about his results, no he doesn't care as much as he did back when he's in Drumstrang, but knowledge is a form of power, and Drew is no one if not someone hoping to be more powerful; with power only he would survive in this world. Just like his father said, only the fittest suitable to survive in this world, and Drew aim to not only survive, but to thrive, like a true Reinhardt does. Stories of his ancestors had just inspired him how strong he could really be, if he wants to be.

If he was flying high before, that one sentence out of Aisling's lips was enough to break his wings; yet Drew didn't feel the thrill of falling, the sentence put him right at the bottom. "I don't need Flint's pity, nor did I earn my results by just being a pureblood," he said through gritted teeth, she has crossed a line by putting him as the same level as those filthy rich pureblood boys, like they ever suffer to be where they are right now; their parents ran and hid themselves behind the wall of money and connections while the rest of them being out there on the field being hunted down by the aurors; they, those rich so-called pureblood, with their endless lies using money to cover up their tracks, setting up innocent souls to take the fall for them; those cowards have no rights to even walk around with their heads held high like their did. "And don't, ever, put me, as the same level as they are," Drew warned in a low voice, emphasizing each word he said. He had to put in effort to resist the urge to spit in disgust, but it colored his tone deeply, "They are not even worth being compare to me."

But this isn't an evening he wants to get angry at her, not the evening he wants to have this discussion. Truth to be told, this isn't even the evening he should allow himself to feel so much at all, he just couldn't help himself. They are just moments away from when everything falls apart, he is moments away from losing all things that make him happy in his life, ain't that enough a reason for him to feel something for himself? Even it is for some selfish and unimportant reasons like he loves her?

Drew allowed himself to relax, just to enjoy this dance with her, he willing to give anything to prolong the dance, if he has the power, but of course he knows he couldn't. If he give into this moment of weakness here and now he would not be able to stop himself from pulling her into his arms, he would not be able to hide himself behind his thick armor anymore and confess to her all these feelings he has for her. He can't, not here, not now, perhaps not ever, for she's the weakness he couldn't afford to have.

Funny how all he wanted to do was to love her and yet she thinks he's poisoning her life huh? Life has a bitch of a humor.

Maybe he is masochistic, for allowing himself to fall in love with someone who would just hurts him. Drew Reinhardt could have anyone in this world and yet he picked this someone who hate his guts, this someone who could not live further from his world of darkness and war, and sacrifices made for a greater cause.

"You heard me," he replied to her coolly, letting his arms fall by his side as she struggled to get away from him, one would think that she's found a monster standing right in front of her the way she couldn't get away from him fast enough. He knows she had heard him, could easily tell that from the look on her face, the way her expression darkened and even the smallest sign of humor fell away. He's sorry, and he's not, because this is necessary, he clearly recognize what choice he was given. "Oh? Do you seriously want to discuss about what I have power over?" the boy asked in a low voice, wouldn't risk being overheard, even though most around them were rather caught up in the simple action of staring into each other's eyes, of being in love, there aren't guarantee on who's listening in their conversation, "If I've not knowing tolerance, your so-called friends would all be death long ago, and don't even need to lift a finger to get that done." Foolish girl, doesn't she realized how many times he had protected her and her friend? Endless time that he lied to even his own father just to cover for her?

He's frustrated yes, he can't fathom why Aisling has never see it all along. It has been three years, three long years, hasn't he at least earn a bit of rights to be in her life?

Apparently not.

"If that's your final answer, it's your choice, don't regret it," even though it felt like the world's ending as he said those words, it felt like he was bleeding all over, yet Drew said it with the calmest voice possible, the coldness could be compared to the eternal winter at frozen north, "You've picked this, you will see the consequences of your choice." He turned and walk away before she could even demand an answer from him, what he planned to do, she will see it soon enough. He knows she will hate him, he just knows what's next would end the many years of their companionship, partnership, whatever they are, it is going up in smoke now.

And nothing would be left but heartbreaks, blood and tears, and death knocking on their door.


OCC: and the rest of the story continues here

"Drew's Speech"
Drew's Thoughts
NPC Speech

Words: 1217
OCC: I will never be alright...
Outfit: CLICK
Tagged: AISLING EUGENIE DOLOHOV

Template by Paige @ WATR and CAUTION