My Bloodlines Looking for Their Root (Thad)

[Deleted]

Nights slowly drifted by.

For Anna, everything had never been the same. No matter when she was or where she looked, flash images of the dead men broke her defenses. They had been haunting her imaginations, mutilating bloodied limbs, and she was hanging on the verge of sanity, silently begging her salvation while Val laughed on. With the thrill of freedom, the power she gained dragged guilt along in its curious brougham. She knew she needed refuge from her lover, the only one whom she could talk to, but the last thing she needed was to appear weak before him. And it was obvious from the deadly encounter that she had loathed weakness to the extreme. Besides, she was mad for thinking that he would comfort her; the Thad she loved would plunge her deeper into oblivion without the slightest hesitation, and she would still let him without a fight.

She was far from holding back or giving up, but she was fatally, damnably, absolutely, stuck. She still focused during classes, and she embraced what fear she could by holding on to her nightmares; but she only felt madder by the minute until one evening, she ran into the woods and killed every animal she could find.

The little brunette thought long and hard, when at last she realised she had been walking along the hallways towards the Slytherin Dungeon, where she thought he would be, except that the dungeon was now dark and empty. Hell may rot, but she must not, must not break down; she cursed herself. Unsure of any plans of action that would make her feel better, she paced along the cold spaces, feeling blood drained away from her veins. What was a girl to do? Was this what he had spoken to her... That she still had a long way before she could achieve greatness? So, was this expected, then? Should she drop him an owl? She would not collapse, then, would she?

Sighing, she knew this monologue had been repeating over her head for the hundredth time now. If the castle walls could hear her thoughts, they would have gone mad, too. "Bloody hell, Anna, this is not you. Get yourself together."

She breathed into her pressed hands, feeling the bitter coldness growing like ice. Somehow, she knew that if he was here, all these miseries would end, and she could be fine once again. Somehow, she knew that in his warm embrace, none of these things would matter anymore. Anna recalled that he had spoken of a grand celebration for them, but at the moment she simply wished for her soulmate to be here. 

"Thad, where are you? " 

fall into you

@thorn

>.<

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

Thad was returning from the library. He had been busy comparing notes from a permitted magical history book to one of those from his personal library. Always researching... always plotting. After Burke had questioned him and others about potentially being the traitor who gave away McGonagall's location, Thorn made an extra effort to please the Dark Lady.

He stepped toward his Common Room when he saw Nienna there, obviously coming to visit him. He smiled a little and approached her, taking her into his arms. He noticed the gloom on her face and it made him quite curious and concerned.

"Hello, my dearest," he said. "You seem distraught. I trust your time with Valentyna was not disappointing. She informed me how fond she was of you. I certainly cannot blame her. Look at how quickly I grew fond of you." Thad drew in and kissed her. "Tell me, my dark cherub. What troubles you?"

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

Everything inside her yearned for everything of him. As she melted into his warmth, she quietly whispered to him, never to let her go.

Distraught, she wished she could return his genuine smile, yet at the instant she could only manage a faint smile before breathing it away almost at once; burying her face in his chest, feeling like a little girl that she was. Her brown tresses flowed gloriously down his chest as she heard the familiar heartbeats; her persistent pain washed away by a singular longing towards his entire being. She worshiped him like a king, every inch of her laid as offering in exchange of his.

The passion in their kiss never wavered. "Your presence harbors my sanity, my deathly angel. Everything is quite alright, love, now that I am where you are," she spoke the half-truth through her teeth, exhaling in trembles. Yet when his look of concern finally met her eyes, her gaze drooped towards the ocean of helplessness and sorrow.

"My conceited mind, it tricks me to feel their pain," she referred to the dead men, already starting to regret her foolish confession, "But the urge, the temptation to commit the same evil violently thrashes against my ribs, threatening to be freed. Here lies the measure of greatness that we had dreamed of longingly, yet it lies strangled within a cage. Resisting these temptations had been so difficult," she thought of the birds whose little wings she shattered into pieces. "So overwhelming," the fragile bodies of butterflies. "And so... new." Swallowing the lump in her throat, Anna spoke softly, placing her hands around his waist, "If your endeavors have not left your soul in need of rest, love, could you take us someplace quiet?" Even as the enclosed stonewalls seemed quite deaf and dumb, and no soul stirred a living breath; Anna knew that Thad knew. She wished to hear what he had learned during his long, frequent trips to the library, and no risk of overhearing could be taken. But it was also the loud voices in her head, constantly shrieking and scratching in the walls of her darkened mind; that even when she closed her eyes, even when she was wide awake; she had to grapple with the viscera of the mangled remains. Her only safety was when they were together, alone.

Still, she breathed in once, deeply; and carried on, surprised by her own words. "If so... I can surely wait."

medicine

@thorn

^.^

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

Nienna seemed to be feeling better with him, and he in turn was warmed by her presence. But still something seemed off. Thad could only wonder if Val had perhaps... gone too far. Thad was a wicked young man himself, but even he had his limits. And he would not tolerate someone wronging Anna. Despite his dark soul, he vowed he would never harm his beloved... nor would he let another harm her.

"The most divine temptations are always the hardest to stray from, beautiful one," he said. "I cannot tell you to give into them all, only to give into those that benefit you most."

He then smiled when she asked to be with him somewhere in private.

"I would go to the ends of the Earth to be alone with you if that is what it took," he said. "Lead me, my dearest, and I will follow." He then took her hand and kissed it before he let her lead.

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

"You love me like your own," said Anna, feeling his fingers filling the little spaces between hers. "I am yours, rescued from dust, unbreakably bound forever. What strengths I have, I offer them.. to you." Crushed in an avalanche of emotions, Anna could no longer hold the weight tormenting her soul. She tightened her trembling grip on his hand, doing everything in her limited power to lead him to quietness.

Once enveloped by silence; Anna turned to face Thad, feeling much better, then smiled in return and purred, "Alone, at last." Her eyes gazed deeply into his, and her lips spilled the words she had meant to say ever since the nightmares began, "Please, tell me, my love, that what I have done is right." Her hand gently reached up to the nape of his neck, whispering, "That what I have done, is what you would have wanted." Anna had never known love to be so possessing, so consuming, so enlivening, and she had not grown used to the feeling; not even until the seasons stop drifting, or when the birds stop singing. Now, she knew that with every remembrance of him, the nightmares would flee in a heartbeat; because he was all that she would think of.

Anna loved the firmness of his waist, yet at the moment she simply grinned, back to her usual self; trailed her fingers down his chest and said, "Promise me, will you, love?"

"Come spring, let us be outdoors, out of these cold, dank, old walls, Thad. Just my beloved and I," said Anna, eyes smiling with gentleness. "All I ask from you is one day, love, one out of eternity." As much as she loved the darkness now, Anna loved the thought of being under the sun with Thad, not hiding from whispering eavesdroppers or mindless meddlers. Besides, a brief getaway may help him; he had been so hard at work with only a little rest lately, and she had wished him to be happy. "Wouldn't you think it nice?" smiled Anna.

Gods could take a day off, couldn't they?

all of me

@thorn

=3

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

Thad felt as Anna did. They were bound together in a dark love. And he did love her. He might have never said it, but he did.

"I am yours, my dearest," he said. "Your master and your servant. I merely want to always ensure that you live is filled with the joys of one who needn't fear authority, rules... false freedoms our superiors claim to give us."

She then wondered if what all she had done was right. He had heard of the sins she had committed, how she killed for the first time. Even for one as dark as himself, learning to kill under the eyes of his own mentors in the Black Army was a strange and uneasy feeling. Even he was reluctant to do so at first.

"I fear what you and I do now no longer challenges the common notions of right and wrong," he said. "We've signed our deals with the Devil, and we cannot break them. Even now, the Black Army is attempting to find the traitor who revealed the location of the Headmistress. I can only imagine what will become of this traitor, and know I do not wish for you or I to suffer a similar fate. My dearest, I can only promise that through all this, I will be at your side."

Anna wanted a day away from the wickedness. A beautiful day together, to forget the evils of the world and simply take in the world itself. Thad smiled and nodded.

"A day then... for you," he said. He then drew in and kissed her.

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

Responding to his kiss with such unbearable delight, she tipped on her toes and pulled into him; closer than they ever were, lips only a hair's breadth away. Even without the words, her heart knew that he loved her, and Anna was so happy that she could barely breathe. Breathless, she finally stopped with a laugh of pleasure; as if she was the happiest girl in the whole wide world, as if she was not the fourteen-years-old girl who had heartlessly murdered an innocent man nights ago. A monster she had inevitably become, cold and ruthless, vigorous and brutal; but a part of her that loved Thad fought still against the current of change.

"Devil knows, how tainted and torn my humanity has become, my young lover, or what terror has been unleashed from within me, yet I cannot deny how joyful and grateful I am for you," said Anna, her fingers following the lines beneath his chin, "As surreal as it was, the darkness made me feel free and strong, for the first time in ever, though at the cost of my soul being sundered away by evil, sliver by sliver, night by perfect night.

"And I simply," said Anna, searching his eyes as if pained by the invisible burden, "I simply thought that by becoming stronger, I could watch over you, I could be the angel who marches into the fiery clefts of Hell if it means keeping you safe, and my love, you will be free to realise our dreams. I vowed this... as your soul mate, your helpless prey and your fierce hunter." In their own ways, their stars were entangled in one another; falling forward endlessly, unstoppably, recklessly. Even she herself could not comprehend the highs and lows of her emotions; but as she was learning to rise above these uncertainties and to use her wit, she hoped that Thad would understand.

Her heart began to thump as the night's remain began to creep in. "One moment I was unnerved, yet one moment I became so merciless, it would have terrified every living soul. I would not shy if you look away from me, love," said Anna sadly, "From the punishable sins that I have so wittingly done." Anna looked down briefly, feeling the enormity of guilt like a waterless ocean without a floor, then carried on softly. "But I know, I did what I had to do," said Anna. "For there is no more turns left on this walk, there exists only a straight plummet to the blackened deep." All through her life, she had only known things in certainty; black or white, good or evil. The tectonic shift of her principle frustrated her, but as she continued to speak, she was embracing her wickedness, longing for the day when they would reign in freedom.

"But when we finally rule larger than the universe, when our dreams finally surrender to reality, I, too," said Anna, half speaking to herself, "Will be at your side."

She sealed her promise with a loving kiss; one love, two lips, that lingered like the warm breeze of spring. Yet at the moment, she nearly thought she was dreaming; for Anna had felt little rushes of wind suddenly growing stronger in the windowless, enclosed dungeon.

candles

@thorn

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

"Lack of those qualities that so limit us always makes us strong, my dearest," said Thad following the kiss and Anna's words. "As you grow in this new life of yours, you will only become stronger. You'll find yourself being able to do feats you've never imagined. What I alone can teach you will make you a warrior goddess among witches."

Thad smiled when she promised to watch over him, but then shook his head.

"No, you are not to be reduced to my body guard," he said. "That is a spot reserved for a lowly being, not an exalted one such as yourself. If we are to protect, we shall protect one another. That is what soul mates do. They forever ensure that one does not part from the other... at all costs."

Thad listened as she spoke of her sins. Who knew what a psycho like Val had been warping her mind with. And Val had taken to the girl, which meant it would only get worse.

"Do not dwell on the past, my dark cherub," he said. "To worry about one's constant past wrongs does one no good when one should focus on the future... our future."

He then took in the next kiss, making his last longer than the prior ones. He then smiled.

"So tell me, what shall we do on this 'day off' you've proposed?" he asked.

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

Try as she might, Anna could not see herself the same way. She was a murderess, a manslayer; no matter her reasons, no matter where her loyalty stood, no matter how young she was. But this was the life she had chosen, and this was her, her reality whom life had laid its harshed hands on. The images would continually replay themselves in broken shards of chaos and darkness, each frame retelling her a different story of her state of fallen grace; and she would continually wonder if the man had really been dead, if there was indeed no more final seconds of breath held in his punctured lungs, if somehow she could guilt herself into undoing all her sins.

She needed him to snatch her hand away, to bound their hands in silver shackles; to blaze toward their distant future. Why did she always run toward death?

Yes, as it was, his grand promise was what she had set out for, ever since she signed her deal with the Devil. The Devil whose name was whispered in silence, as if one utterance of Her name would command incomparable destruction whenever spoken. Anna took all these in, resolving never to dwell in her tarnished past; to leave the shadowed shame and hidden tears behind, to lift her gaze up and look straight. Yet even so, no matter where she looked, all around her was darkness; turned and turned around she did, breaths growing rapidly by the second.

Still, it was all black, the darkness that nearly scared her beating heart out of her chest. Indeed, there had been no sun, no moon, nor stars, nor her little feet.

But he was with her.

His eyes were the glinting light she held on to, her only beacon faithfully leading her; before the darkness swallowing would vanish her into nothingness. And for the moment, she could only listen and learn, building her new existence brick by painful brick, red upon bloodied red. A first for everything, even for killing; that she understood well. More would come, and more she would kill. Anna realised that those were the words Val had spoken, and she began to wonder if her big sister was the one who had messed her up.

Yet back in the frigid dungeon, she realised that a smile had again found her face, as his smile soothed and warmed her heart. "Thad, we are perfect," breathed Anna, holding his hands as if they were her last stronghold. The longer she lingered in his presence, the surer she felt their bond was meant to endure. Then she carried on, chirping, as she consciously ignored her troubled past, "Love, you have been working hard, haven't you? Hardly had I been of any help to you, but I do wish you could take a day of rest," she said, her face showing the gentleness of a lover. "For the day, we shall get away for once, let ourselves delight in the sight of what could one day be ours. Verily so, don't you think, love? The spring-greened leaves, the sun-gilded pavements; all of those little, beautiful things." Her eyes dreamt of her childhood; where there was no care whispered in the summer wind, no guilt found in the scent of rain-washed grass. "Partake in some... lovely attractions," teased Anna, eyeing his lips, "And the rest of the day, the rest, I commit unto your imagination," Anna smiled knowingly, brightly, "For it is not my intention to ruin a surprise for one I so love.

"Now, before I bare all my secrets, as your sweet kisses wash all of them away," said Anna, "Whereabouts is this traitor you spoke of? But I reckon the traitor had not been found. Have you been researching for an identity, then? Or scheming for a lure, a trap?" She then furtively glanced around her, across the cold stonewalls and polished floors; listening closely for the sounds of footfalls, worrying if they were in the right place to speak of such classified matters.

coto

@thorn

yes! click!

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

In the chill of the dungeon, Thad held Anna closely to warm her. Thad was content now. He would almost be willing to place all the dark plans he had aside for the chance to do this for all eternity. He agreed... they were perfect.

"You, not being of any help?" he chuckled. "You have been my muse... my sanity... my everything. Without you, my life would cry for a help that could never come."

He listened to her plan for the "day off". It was certainly an unusual setting for one like Thad, but with Anna there, it sounded... pleasant.

"So be it," he said. "I believe I shall enjoy this day you have described. As for what my imagination has in store for part of it, know whatever occurs, you have inspired it." He smiled at the idea of secrets and surprises. He wondered if most young children felt this way on birthdays and Christmas. He had never done so when he was a child.

He then sighed as she asked about the traitor.

"I do not wish to be involved in the search," he said. "I've already felt uneasy enough being suspected due to my youth. I believe to volunteer to be involved will only raise suspicion of me in the Army."

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

The way he had agreed; the way he had smiled, even after knowing that he was not used to such pleasant pictures of happiness; brought Anna to a light-hearted laugh. She did not wish to change him, one whom she had loved right from the beginning; she loved him, as dark and enigmatic as he was, as stubborn and headstrong as he was, Thad was still the boy whom the girl had loved. Anna simply hoped that he would not loathe the wet shores and the white streams, or be bored by the gentleness of the rustling leaves; whatever things which he had never seen or liked before. Most of all, Anna prayed that he would love the surprises she had laid in store for them.

"I know places," smiled Anna, then quickly dismissing the topic for later consideration, focusing her thought toward a graver one.

She heard him sigh, and she wondered curiously at the true face of the traitor; a frown forming across her forehead as if her mind was turning over her thoughts, in and out again. "Assuredly, the virtue of our youth is its own punishment, though I choose to believe, none would suspect your darkness. I cannot be the only one who knows of this with good surety," said Anna, altogether feeling his uneasiness resounding a bitter instinct within her. "Let the adults write their own stories, then," said Anna, as a quite-contrary look etched itself on her expression.

It was clear that their emotions were somehow hung by the same thread; even as their thoughts were still catching up to the same page, yet Anna was so curious to learn that she kept digging. "My suppositions of your wicked schemes have sent my heart aflutter, love. Would you share with me, the plots which you have been up to?" asked Anna, her hooded eyes began to reveal the nefariousness of her thoughts. Again, with Thad by her side, she felt ready to take revelry in darkness, to savor the alluring taste of the abyss; Anna had tricked her mind to feel remorseless and dauntless, pushing her guilt and fears away, once again filling herself with a hunger for wickedness. "Perhaps, this little mind could give you something in return."

lose your soul

@thorn

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

Thad smiled at Anna as she said she knew places.

"I am anxious to see them," he said.

Thad understood what Anna was getting at regarding his darkness, but one thing he could never abide was being accused of being a traitor to that darkness.

"Whoever did betray the Dark Lady deserves to die," he said coldly. "For being both a fool and one who has lost his or her edge. We are honored to be part of the Black Army. We have been allowed to stand among the greatest wizards and witches in existence. For one to throw that all away to cling to the petty beliefs that still exist in society... well if you ask me that one is of no worth to either side and therefore is of no worth to exist at all."

Thad cuddled with Anna as she asked of his plots.

"Well... they do involve you," he said. "You and I at Thorn House, sipping the finest tea and in each others' arms as we practice the deadliest and darkest of spells, embracing the power the Dark Lady will give us once she comes to rule. The world shall be our playground... and oh how we shall play." He smiled and kissed her. "How beautiful you look, even in this cold, damp place."

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

His coldness fed her wickedness, like wintry snow to her heart that had begun to frost, beckoning her into the dark even further. "Perhaps a shred of doubt begun it all," replied Anna. She gazed at his eyes, the midnight dark of a moonless night, the fathomless deep of a sleeping sea. In fact, she was rather proud, being no longer afraid to hear condemnations, murders or deaths; for she had so masterfully killed by herself, and she had now known how to soothe those jangling nerves. Him, her escape plan from the roaring mass of black terrors that hunted her shadows. Anna agreed, too, that the traitor's demise was only deserving.

"Foolish one could be, if one tends to incertitude and abandons his first purpose in darkness. I loathe not the prospects of his death, but the loss of one young soldier on our side, love. Suppose many have fallen amidst the crossfire, even across the centuries, but to know one who so naively had betrayed his comrades, too cowardly to confess his foolishness, no measure of weakness could ever suffice in description," said Anna fiercely. "One broken, wretched soldier, to ensnare the remaining good army," she added solemnly, "or disclose them vulnerably." Besides a location, the traitor might have divulged other secrets, or he might not; yet she knew it ought to be the latter since there had been no arrests or captures done. Anna pulled closer into him like a shield, unwilling to ever imagine him being at all vulnerable, unwilling to part lest unseen miseries might rain upon him one day.

"We fight their battles now, yet I cannot help thinking that someday, someday we would have our own fights to reign," she said, wondering at the greatness they could one day glory in. They were both young, that Anna knew, and as much as she hated being looked down upon, she knew not to rise in reckless bravado and put herself at risk; so at the moment she resolved not to prick into the way the elders work unless asked to. Besides, she had not much insights to begin with yet. "I cannot quell what doubts or bitterness in your thorny mind, love, but should they ever awaken, I can look out for the dangers that prowl in your path, agape or hidden, and guard you from them," whispered Anna, looking still into the eyes that could both warm and freeze her soul, "for even if my soul belongs to Her, my truest faith always abides in you."

Her heart flipped at his mention of such evilly lovely plots. As her head rested in the spaces of his neck, she felt his arm wrapped tightly around her light frame; and Anna could not help but wonder at how closely she fitted into him, and if somehow something had prearranged their bond. She kissed him back, smiling at how eager he looked. "You make me beautiful and whole, Thad," called Anna endearingly, still smiling as she weaved her dark brown hair behind her left ear, a little flushed at his praising her countenance for the first time; or perhaps it had not been the first, yet it had rung so unmasked in this dark, frozen corner that it had felt like the first. "I can never get used to something so agreeable and pleasant," purred Anna, feeling his smile forming across as she wrapped her fingers round his, each inch and touch as precious as life itself. "If you would think of myself so highly now, love, I think you'd love what you see then," teased Anna lightly, endlessly imagining the grandiosity of his house and library, his most valuable inheritances; the thousands of dark spells they had yet to lay eyes upon, simply entrapped in silent screams waiting to be savoured.

Anna fluttered her eyelids closed as she did so, wandering and slithering her touch through the imaginary hallways, sipping the finest of teas and reading by the invisible fireplace, gently taken in the arms of her dearest lover. "My heart is restless thinking these fun we should play with, and it is helpless to stop," grinned Anna before continuing with a blithe lilt. "What would you propose we shall do now, my young lord?"

bury me deeply

@thorn

not much sorryyy

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY

[Deleted]

Thad listened as Nienna gave her thoughts on the traitor. Like him, she was so wise for one so young. That was one of the reason he fell for her as he did.

"The traitor WILL be found," he said. "And will be punished and we will move on. The traitor's fate is of no concern to us. I care about one thing and one person only- the welfare of the Army and you, my dearest. I cannot evade the truth much longer. What I have for you is indeed love. I did not think I could love before I met you, but I do now, Anna. With all my heart."

He listened as she spoke of fighting their own battles.

"We'll fight them together then," he said. "Good can fall, evil can fall, but in the end, there is nothing that can stop what we have. I would face every manner of torture, I would die the worst of deaths before I allowed the world to be denied your incredible existence."

Thad smiled as Anna said he made her beautiful and whole.

"And you make me what I should be... what I must be," he said, kissing her again.

Thad held her as she spoke of the fun they would have and asked what was to be done now.

"Stay..." he said. "I want us to stay here tonight in this damned place. The Prefects do not patrol the dungeons and I know of a hiding place if they did. I want to sit with you and hold you tonight. I want you to know you are safe with me... always safe."

@niennaryou

[Deleted]

The worthiest of words could enshroud lies, and the sweetest of smiles could hide hurts. Only tears which flowed out of true sorrows could wash the human suits away, that Anna had learned the hard way; yet his sincere words had caught her by surprise and proved her wrong. With each word, she could nearly hear the sound of his heart slowly opening up, its quickened beating a cry for help. She marveled at him, an expression of sheer happiness found in her face; having finally heard the words she waited patiently for. 

"How could I ever love you enough?" she spoke in careful whispers; afraid to mar this sacred moment he had conceived for her, afraid to hurt him as he shattered his guards down before her eyes. She knew, that she knew, that she knew, with all certainties, that Thad loved her. From the moment he first kissed her lips, from the moment he stood  by her before his fellow Slytherins; from this moment on and eternity. A thing so large and beautiful, strong yet fragile, welled up within her; something she had never fathomed and felt previously. Floods of tender longing awakened to an unquenchable rage within her. "I, too, love you," she looked straight at him, her eyes intense with feelings, his shining deadly yet vulnerable. "With all my heart, Thad." Her voice was gentle, for she was in love; and she needed not to speak aloud to let her thoughts reach his heart, the heart that beat one as hers.

Perhaps that night, Anna had also known the foremost reason why he had forced his way into her safe haven, and perhaps she had sensed it right from the beginning; but for all that Hell was worth, she never felt an ounce of deception, betrayal or frustration. As her thinned hands softly cradled the sides of the boy's cheeks, Anna believed she could brave the parching deserts and thundering oceans to have him safe; back to this vulnerable touch that would last a lifetime. "With all that I am."

He spoke his deepest desires and Anna listened; yet her entire body, mind and soul tensed at the words torture, dies and deaths; every knot of muscles tightening in fear, not relenting. A scream built up sharply between her lungs, yet the dull ache of those imaginations reduced it to a softness, and she kissed him at the end of his sentence; baulking before the mental sight of what she one day might need to see. "No, love," spoke Anna softly, "speak not of such fatal fates.." Why did she, or they, always run toward death? The question took her away again before she found her mind, again.

"For you are alive, much more alive than the roses enthroned with thorns, much more fierce than the wind that rushes the gusts of cold winter nights, much stronger than the golden lances that bleed the evening sun," she sang in his ear; her arms wrapped still around his neck, her eyes beginning to glisten at the unthinkable morbidity that they loved to gravitate towards. "That is you," said Anna, pulling gently away and lifted the palm of his hand, to the robust beats of his own heart. "And so I am, alive," she carried on, placing her palm unto her chest. She finally noticed how her flesh had grown more fragile, how her wrists seemed to have shrunk their circles; for she had been missing her meals haphazardly, unknown to anyone. The bourguignon and flambé, a certain rawness that remained had often threatened her to a cacophony of terrors; and she could expect no one to understand what she felt. These days, mostly fluids kept her filled. Yet there they were, the unmistakable pumps of her heartbeats; fighting to keep her alive, drumming her onward into the battlefields.

Their love blazed a bottomless abyss to Hell.

"Strange how the elegant constancy of life could lead one into thinking, as if one could live forever," said Anna. "The bluest oceans that sleeps through a Holocene, the bright stars that floats and sink at every day, and the pale moon that shone over the vales at night, they tell me that perhaps, forever is a wink in the universe," she said, smiling. "Your eyes made me feel the same way, Thad." Anna pulled him by the lapels, kissing him back; wondering if they would make it out alive, if they would at all. "The safest place I could be, my sanctuary, is you." She latched herself in his embrace, feeling their heat blending in another's; like two fires that had crossed paths under the winter snow.

Keep me safe, she whispered under her breath.

Keep us safe.

"Then stay I will," answered Anna, smiling at him as she sat herself down on the cold, hard ground; straightening her stiffening legs and rubbing her hands together, her expression full of trust and happiness. "With you." Anna could feel the rings in her throat beginning to dry, each swallow sending a splinter down her gut; and she drew out her serpent-circled wand, along with a goblet that she had recently started carrying with her, watching with a smile as it hungrily refilled itself with the clearness of water.

can't lose you

@thorn

THANK YOU MALIA TATE FROM ADOXOGRAPHY