Like a Pair of Mismatched Socks (Hagrid)

[TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS]

WE'VE LIVED IN BARS AND DANCED ON TABLES Being shorter than the bar in a pub was a miserable thing to be. One would have thought with the sort of patronage he'd given to the publicans of Hogsmeade, Telemachus might have be afforded a ramp or small set of steps to bring himself level with the other sots, but no. There was of course magic, a simple levitation spell, but such an incredible bother that was. Climbing, yes... climbing, up onto the seat of a wooden chair, Telly planted several silvers on the bar-top and ordered a bottle of cask-aged mead. Normally the wet weather would call for whiskey, but he fancied the idea of trudging his stubby legs through sticky mud about as much as he did that of apparating while drunk. Mead would suffice, if only company would... "Well, you are quite the convenient companion," he said cheerfully to the half-giant who, even seated at one of the tables, quite literally dwarfed him. "Aren't you, Hagrid?" Telly placed the freshly uncorked bottle on the table in front of the man who had known him since boyhood. "May I join you? As always, you can trust that I never come empty-handed." He grinned mischievously. Hagrid was capable of drinking him under the table. Perhaps he would be making that dark march through the murky muck yet tonight. The behemoth and the imp, they certainly made quite the pair. WORD COUNT: 220 TAG: @hagrid OUTFIT: N/A NOTES: N/A TEMPLATE BY HAYANA OF CAUTION 2.0

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Hagrid was at the Hog's Head having his usual few drinks after a long day when Telemachus walked in. Their difference in size was never an issue to Hagrid. He liked and respected the man to the fullest, and enjoyed drinking with him. That was Hagrid for you, a man with a wealth of kindness. He looked down when Higgs seated himself and smiled.

"That you can, Telemachus," he chuckled, answering the smaller man's question about joining him. "Reckon it ain't no different from all the other times we've had a few choice beverages together, least I think it ain't." Hagrid belched a bit after finishing a large cup of ale. "Sorry 'bout that." He didn't know why he apologized. He would be doing it a lot given the amount he drank. "So Telemachus, ready to close down the library for another year? Any big plans for the summer? Reckon I'll be stickin' around here, 'sides joinin' in for the school trip of course."

TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS

[TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS]

WE'VE LIVED IN BARS AND DANCED ON TABLES Oh, it most certainly would be one of those nights. The challenge would be to not wake up the next morning in a pool of his own drool collected on the pages of the first edition of Little People, Big Plans by Ragnok the Pigeon-Toed he'd taken to recently. Soiling first editions was such a crying shame, but Telly had a nasty habit of trying in vain to get late night reading in when he returned from pub soused. "Well, it might be in my best interest for this to not turn into a repeat of the time I vomited fire whiskey all over Rosmerta's window panes," Telly mused with nostalgia. "Damned undercooked sausages," he lied through his teeth. When Hagrid belched then apologized, the dwarf couldn't help but chuckle. It was one of the few things at which those with a stature such as his could hold the equal physically with average-sized humans. And as such Telemachus prided himself on the artfulness and fullness of his burps. But a giant, even a half-giant, had the sort of diaphragm and stomach to put everyone else to shame. "Why yes, of course, this is the summer I'd planned to train for my second career as a professional troll wrestler." His sarcasm was heaped on thickly, or he at least thought it was, alcohol had a funny way of playing tricks with those sort of things. "No. Quite the opposite in fact. Something far less exciting, I'm afraid. Burying myself deep into Magical Hieroglyphs and Lopograms and brushing up on my Laurenzoo. Exhilarating stuff, but necessary evils if I'm to up my chances of appointment for the open Ancient Runes professorship in the fall." For all the regular reading that Telly did, he couldn't recall a time he'd studied as much as he had been in the past several weeks since he was a teenager. Even then, he wasn't certain he'd actually applied himself as earnestly as he was now. That Muggle author was quite right, 'all children do grow up... save one.' "So you'll see me around here as much as usual," he confirmed, tossing back a considerable gulp of mead. "Well..." considerable and consider-ing, "likely not here; unless I want to cut my productivity in half. But around Hogsmeade certainly. Minerva has helped me secure temporary lodging around here. I may venture Mancunian-way to drag Terry out of the mundane life of accounting, but I do figure it's high time I stopped finding excuses to not impart my genius on these impressionable young minds." Telly laughed loudly, from the belly. Perhaps these kids finally had driven him mad as he'd once sworn they'd do. WORD COUNT: 444 TAG: @hagrid OUTFIT: N/A NOTES: N/A TEMPLATE BY HAYANA OF CAUTION 2.0

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Hagrid chuckled a bit when Telemachus spoke of vomiting the sausages. Not many would laugh at such a story, but that was Hagrid for you.

"Told you to avoid'em from the start!" he said. "Any kinda meat that looks that pink ain't go no business in your stomach!"

Hagrid also chuckled about the troll wrestling joke. He always found his friend to be quite amusing and good for conversation because of it. He then nodded as Telemachus spoke of what he was really going to be doing.

"Never hurts to get a little extra work in I suppose," he said. "And you know that position is as good as yours next term. Even Professor Grimp thinks yer the right fella for it."

Hagrid understood Telly's need to get away from the area for the summer. Hagrid himself could always use a slight break from Hogwarts, though he only occasionally got it. After all, the grounds needed tended to year around.

"Do what ya gotta do is what I say," he said. "And that's a fine place to go, Mancunian. Been out there myself not long ago, little business with some foreign insects they was havin' issues with."

Despite the fact that he was there for work, he still considered it a nice trip.

TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS

[TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS]

WE'VE LIVED IN BARS AND DANCED ON TABLES "Oh pish!" Telly demured with a affected dismissive wave. "I may be English, but that doesn't mean I want my meat cooked till it's a lovely shade of tree bark... or the texture." He paused with a half stymied, half playful expression. "Damn it all to hell, Hagrid," he laughed, "you're going to make me admit that it was the fire whiskey, aren't you?" Whether he'd intended to or not, the half-giant had managed to coax a rare moment of honesty out of the dwarf. When the topic shifted back to his pending application for professorship, there was a certain relief to be had when he heard confirmation to what the little birds around the castle had been tweeting. There was still a bit of consternation that percolated in Telly's gut on the matter. "That is also because I'm the only candidate for the job at the moment. I'll admit that it's a course that is often as popular among the teachers as it is the students. I'm sure it must have been the same way when you attended here as you remember it was when I did - they practically had to body-bind students and carry them in to half-fill a classroom." That actually wasn't an entirely unappealing prospect to Telemachus, though he'd never admit it. "I just supposed that, assuming the position is mine to lose, it would be prudent of me to solicit tips of the trade from a former professor. Admittedly, you had a subject that appealed much more to the children. Not one I could approach, what with my tendency to be looked at by a good number of magical creatures as well... lunch." Although he guffawed at his own joke, it was actually a bit of dark humor on Telly's part considering he did have the size to look like a light snack to a good number of animals. "It's the overachiever in me that won't be satisfied with just being a professor if I'm not also a good professor. And there is a certain safety in runes. I figure that I disappointed my poor mother enough by being born a dwarf, it might kill the poor woman if my life's accomplishment was ending up an amuse-bouche to hippogriff." He took another long draught, finishing off his cup of mead, and reached for the bottle to refill as Hagrid discussed the upcoming school trip. "By all means, help yourself to the bottle. I'm liable to drink it all if you don't,"he offered. "I imagine you'll be quite big in Japan." He chuckled, trying to play it off until he half-choked on a sip of mead for his trouble. "Sorry," he coughed, "that was a terrible joke. Though I do hear tell they're rather fond and reverent of big men over there. Whereas with me, I'd be like for some young woman to try and stick in her tiny purse like an even tinier dog. If the trip-planners ever elect to go visit the Pymies in South America or the South Pacific, I'll make sure to be the first to sign up as chaperone. Perhaps I might even find myself a wife; now that would really make my mother gleeful." WORD COUNT: 535 TAG: @hagrid OUTFIT: N/A NOTES: N/A TEMPLATE BY HAYANA OF CAUTION 2.0

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Hagrid laughed heartily about the firewhiskey.

"Well you bloody drank yourself under the table," he said. "So I suppose it could be on account of that too."

Hagrid had to agree about Ancient Runes. In all honesty, he always found the subject dull himself. He could easily imagine the students doing the same. Still, he had to encourage his friend.

"Well, if it ain't to the children's likin', then you best come up with a way to make it to their likin'," he said. "Yer a wise fellow, and you ain't the first to have to make a subject more interestin'. I'll wager our Alchemy and History of Magic Professors find themselves in the same fix at times. As for Care of Magical Creatures, well yes the kids were interestin' in seein' all the new creatures I showed to'em, but even that class had book room and I hade to make it fun for'em." Hagrid then chuckled about Telly being lunch. "Reckon Bolfeather does look at you a bit funny now and again." Hagrid was joking about his favorite Hippogriff of course. Telly was no different to the creature than anyone as long as he bowed to him first.

Hagrid smiled about taking the bottle.

"Don't mind if I do," he said before taking a big swig. "Sadly, ain't goin' on the school trip this time around. Got some personal business in London to take care of." Hagrid was aiding the Order with a few matters regarding recent attacks.

TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS

[TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS]

WE'VE LIVED IN BARS AND DANCED ON TABLES "In all fairness, I had a strong case for under the table before we touched the first round," Telly chortled. "Comes with the territory of being shorter than the table itself." He'd have been the first to admit that runes could be a quite drab subject for those whose primary magical interests centered around physical play and heavy wand-waving. It took a certain passion for history and how the past could be used to unlock the future or better understand the present. Mercifully it was an elective, so the students that would enroll would have an interest, or at the very least an interest in receiving high enough marks to proceed along the path to whatever their career of choice was. it was the quandary that Telemachus was certain every professor, or professor-to-be, had toiled with - how willing was he to debase himself in order to make his class one that wouldn't be dreaded along the same lines as cleaning the cage linings of the shrewt pens? "Yes, funny..." at the subject of the particular Hippogriff in question, Telly lacked his usual amusement. "I'll have you know it took everything I had in me not to soil myself fretting over how low is low enough when you're already so low to the ground. As I recall that was among Phileus' reasons for so rarely venturing out into the wooded areas." That Hagrid would not be accompanying the class trip to Japan was a bit of a surprise. That would leave Esmeralda and Marco shepherding the flocks along with additional chaperones either no older than their sheep (Lance) or, fond of him as Telly might be, at least that acted no older than their sheep (Claudius). "London, you say?" It was really all that needed to be said. When Hagrid was asked to come thereabouts without it being so close to the start of a new term, and hence perhaps a new student - usually Muggle-born - to see properly aboard the train, it typically meant only one thing. While Telemachus had counted himself among the number of the DA in his day, he had never gone so far as to formally enlist as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He remained loyal, but an outlier all the same. It only seemed logical; as Phileus had once put it, there are those who are simply better suited to protecting the castle, quite literally as it were, than advancing past the gates with the vanguard. There was no shame in it, it was simple realism about not allowing one's physical limitations to put himself or others in a vulnerable position. "Does this business have anything to do with the unfortunate calamity that befell Miss Finnegan?" he muffled his volume as best he could without coming off as quite, or unnecessarily, obvious. "Come to think of it again, best to not give that an answer. Bit senseless to risk in the presence of potentially prying ears over little old me."

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WORD COUNT: 500

TAG: @hagrid

OUTFIT: N/A

NOTES: N/A

TEMPLATE BY HAYANA OF CAUTION 2.0

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Hagrid laughed hard at the shorter than the table joke. He was glad Telemachus could joke about himself, though Hagrid would never pick on him regarding his size.

"You're a real card there, Telly," he said. "A real card."

Hagrid chuckled again about the Hippogriff, but calmed himself when Telly didn't look so amused.

"Oh don't sound so bloody sour," he said. "Boldfeather ain't gonna go after nothin' but ferrets. If you could not get outta sorts 'round him all the time, who knows he might become friends with ya."

Hagrid looked about for a moment before leaning closer to Telly. Despite what his colleague said, the man had a right to know, especially if Hogwarts was still in danger.

"Now don't go on about this to people who ain't got no business hearin' it, but Professor Grimp and I are indeed goin' there for Order business," he said. "Not just cause of what happened to poor Ms. Finnigan, but deeper things. Things ain't right here again, Telly, just like they weren't when... you know who was causin' trouble. Thought the whole mess would end when Minerva was brought back, but things seem to be gettin' worse."

TELEMACHUS JASPER HIGGS