Better than Before

[ARCHER ORION ABNER]

Archer looked as if he had been hexed, surely he looked as if he had been hexed and someone should be calling a medi-wizard. However not all ailments are caused at the hands of another, that was obvious because well certainly crap just happens, and occasionally when crap happens it causes a good proper wizard to self-medicate. That is exactly what he had been doing for the three evenings self-medicating.
His medication of choice was whiskey, and for the betterment of the past few nights it had been helpful, so much so that there was not an ailment that that a few shots of whiskey could not alleviate.

Can’t stop pissing and moaning about that hag that gave you a touch of the white mossy bits.. You got it treated in time your junk won’t fall off drink to that.. And for Merlin sakes stop shagging the lot at the Rotten Apple in Kentberry, obviously it’s a bit too depraved for you.

Feeling guilty because you screwed your neighbor, or possibly your neighbor’s mother, because you can’t remember that last weekend at all. Well regardless you’re not sure; because you couldn't remember what her name is, or much about her other than the fact that she looks good bent over working on her begonias. Remedy is to drink more, till it doesn’t matter what her name is, and you can go for a second round with Mrs. You don’t know.

Feeling guilty because mum has once again suggested even mildly that you have a problem, because once again you have ended up in the scandal turners for something unsavory. Drink till you feel that if if she don’t’ stop going on about it you will least try to up the bloody ante to the point that you are not in her bloody page turners but your recent antics have seen you end up making headlines because as mother said.. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Girlfriend Number hell you lost count has left you, because you are apparently a miserable prick. Drink till you pluck up the courage to sleep with her younger sister. Leak it to the profit so she knows that you finally deserve her label.

Yes his medication of choice had been aiding him for the past few weeks, and currently it had helped him in a ministry issued forced labor. Well the Ministry and the Board of Investors whom were offended by his actions during the last charity event. Which he couldn’t exactly remember, but from what he was told the major offense was two things. Urinating in the refurbished Fountain of Magical Brethren at the Ministry, and using the evening gown of the Minister of Magic’s Wife to wipe his hands on when he was finished.

Which apparently was a fine worthy offense, sure he didn’t like venturing out in the middle of the day much less when he had to be out that night for a match to support his girls. But fines were best paid sooner rather than having an Auror pounding on your door. Something he learned early on in life, which was followed quickly by the second lesson that most Auror’s don’t take ‘I forgot about that.’ as an adequate excuse.
He also figured that sense the person whom dress had earned him a fine was that was married to Draco Malfoy, and judging from the degree in which she was shrieking it was a much loved dress.

Yes it was best to come in and personally pay it off it was a quickest means of making the problem go away. Least so he thought. Three hours later he found out that peeing in a fountain is more expensive than he had originally thought. But what he thought was the worst of his day behind him well till he spotted one of the party goer’s from the fateful night. Wincing slightly he racked a wary hand threw his hair and pushed forward with the full intention of just ignoring them in hopes that they too would give him the luxury of ignoring him as well.
tagged: OPEN OPEN OPEN